


Girl Number 72

by kiyokore



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Anthropology, Bad Ending, Break Up, Confusion, Consensual Possession, Curiosity, Dating, Drunkenness, Emetophobia, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Implied/Referenced Sex, Insanity, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Light Bondage, Lime, Love Hotels, Multi, Nicknames, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Philanthropy, Possession, Romance, Romantic Confusion, Serial Killers, Sibling Incest, Spirits, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-07-08 02:33:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 51,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyokore/pseuds/kiyokore
Summary: While trying to make 100 friends for his deceased sister, Korekiyo Shinguji gets stuck at girl number 72. When he finally finds the one he has been looking for, he is too intrigued by her to kill her immediately. His curiosity leads him to spend more and more time with her, and after some time, he is not certain whom to love.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I was so uncomfortable with writing incest and I just wanted to do something else.  
> I hope you can relate to the original character somehow, although the entire thing is written in Kiyo's perspective.

If this was some kind of novel or drama, I would get stuck at a fateful number like exactly 100, or at least 99. Perhaps 50, too. But this is no fictional story, this is as close to reality as it gets.  
I promised Sister I would bring one hundred admirable girls into the afterlife so she could have friends, something her illness always prevented when she was still with me. I was so motivated to do this so I could make her happy, I got so far just for her sake, just to show her that I mean it.  
And yet, here I am, stuck at number 72. It is driving me insane, I simply cannot seem to find anybody who would be suitable as her next friend. It is almost ridiculous, it took me only a few days to find the first girl, but this has gone on for months. Every day, I go out into the town and search the entire area for beautiful young women after university, but all I find are teenagers giggling in groups and pathetic whores trying to sell me their bodies. As for the ones at my university... I have used all the chances I had. All the suitable ones are gone by now.  
But now I am stuck in an endless circle of searching, but not finding. I have no idea where else to look, sometimes I simply sit in my apartment doubting that it is even worth trying. At times like these, all I can do is speak to Sister. She is always there to encourage me and convince me of the idea. If it were not for her, I would have given up long ago, but she tells me to keep going. Her love is what keeps me going, but I do not even know if I can keep the promise by now because of this godforsaken number 72.  
Today is another one of those days. It is one of the rainy Sundays that make you unmotivated the second you look out of the window, so I set everything up to consult my Sister right after getting up. Having everything prepared, I dim the lights and sit down at one end of the salt line. Right in the middle of the circle is a candle, the room's only light source, and I take it into my hands. I close my eyes and start singing the chant. I have never used another séance to contact her, so I have the words and melody perfectly memorized. They resonate through the room even after I am done singing. I control myself to not open my eyes before the last trace of sound has faded, otherwise the spirit might get shy. As well as Sister and I know and trust each other, she will not appear if she feels unsafe, and she would be able to sense it if I was impatient.  
Finally, there is no more noise and I open my eyes carefully to see the sight I have been hoping to see. My beautiful Sister, sitting at the other end of the salt line and looking at me with a strict, yet tender expression, her skin fluorescent and shimmering slightly blue, long and elegant hair flowing perfectly over her shoulders and down to the floor, where she is kneeling in an upright position. I lift my hand and she does the same until I feel the air getting colder around my fingertips. I smile and she smiles back.  
“Is something wrong, Korekiyo? Why do you contact me now?”  
Her words leave my mouth, yet I am not the one who speaks them. In order to perform this particular séance correctly, one must offer one's body as a vessel to the spirit in order to communicate. I am perfectly fine with this, I know she would never abuse my trust.  
“I feel as though nothing could motivate me to go out today. I am feeling slightly stressed.”  
“So you need me to cheer you up again? Korekiyo, you have been doing this way too often lately, you do not have all day. You need to learn to do things on your own.”  
“I know, Sister. It is because of number 72.”  
“Have you found somebody suitable?”  
“No, which is exactly why I am so stressed.”  
“My... this has been going on for how long now? Three months? You know I hate being kept waiting, Korekiyo, so please try to find somebody as soon as possible.”  
“I am trying, believe me. I want you to have the most admirable girls in the world as your friends, not only the first ones I run across. I hate doing this to you, but I am doing it for you.”  
She looks down at the ground for a second.  
“I wish I could thank you.”  
“Sister.”  
“Korekiyo, I do not like saying this, but I am getting impatient slowly. Do not wait much longer.”  
“Sister, please believe me when I say I am doing this for your sake. You would not want a bad friend. I am trying to find nothing but the best for you. I cannot guarantee a time when I will find a suitable girl.”  
She looks at me in a sorrowful and apologetic way.  
“I know, sweet Korekiyo, I suppose I have simply gotten used to being spoiled by you.”  
I try to reach out and touch her cheek, but all I feel is cold air instead of soft skin. She still snuggles her head into my palm as much as she can like a purring cat.  
“My beloved Sister, please be patient, just for a little while longer. I will bring you another friend as soon as I can, but if there is none to be found for longer... I am afraid you will have to bear with the friends you have made so far, and with me.”  
“Thank you, as always, sweet Korekiyo. I am sorry for complaining although you do so much for me constantly. I really do love you, it just does not show sometimes.”  
“I love you too, Sister. Thank you for motivating me again. I shall go out and look again now.”  
“Goodbye, my love. Good luck.”  
We exchange silent smiles for another second, then I blow out the candle and blindly make my way to the light switch. When I turn it on, she is gone.  
I smile at where she was sitting, clean the room and leave the house with my mask on.


	2. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After searching for admirable girls all day, Korekiyo finds one he is immediately intrigued by in a location he never would have expected.

There were no admirable girls at the mall and none at the park. I do not know what to do, do I give up or keep searching somewhere else? I am getting tired and I want to go home, but Sister would not like it if I did. I walk home very slowly and carefully look at every woman I come across, but I do not see anybody that could be of interest.  
I take one last stop at a coffee shop to buy a cappuccino.  
And ironically, this is where this entire story begins, somewhere I never would have expected a beautiful young woman like her to be. Upon walking in the door, I see a woman sitting at one of the tables in the corner, slouched over a book that she is writing or drawing into. There is a coffee cup on the table, but it appears that it is cold by now. I inspect her looks: her long hair is falling over and behind her shoulders in a slightly messy style, her eyes and almost her entire face are not visible due to bending over the book so deeply. It makes me strangely curious.  
I quickly pick up my cappuccino from the counter and approach her table with it in my hand.  
“Excuse me?”  
She looks up at the sound of my voice to reveal a pair of light brown almond eyes, a small cute nose and big lips.  
“Do you mind if I take a seat?”  
Her eyes widen for a short second and she immediately slides her cup of coffee closer to herself to make room for me.  
“No, not at all. Sit down if you'd like.”  
“Thank you.”  
I place my bag on the floor and my jacket on the chair, then I sit down. She immediately looks down at the book again and continues to draw into it. From this perspective, I see that she is drawing little figures in a very detailed fashion, and I must say they look very good. As she is clearly not interested in starting a conversation on her own, I make the first move.  
“I am impressed by your drawings. Judging by the amount of detail, you must be very passionate about art.”  
She lifts her head again and I see her cheeks tinted slightly red.  
“Really? Thanks! I really do put in a lot of effort when I find a motivation. It's nice to hear someone say that.”  
Ah, a human's passion. It always works wonders as an icebreaker.  
“Where do you find the necessary inspiration in the first place?”  
“Oh... uh, pretty much anywhere. The internet, I guess. A lot of the drawings I make are fanart for anime or game characters.”  
“I see. I, myself, am quite interested in analyzing such characters. I am a cultural anthropology student at the local university, and I find it intriguing how many links there may be between a fictional person and an event or a legend that humanity has created.”  
“I don't really know much about anthropology, but that sounds really cool. I'm at an art school, actually. The one near the town hall, you know that one?”  
“I do. I have not heard much about it, though. Would you mind sharing some details?”  
“Uh... there's not that much to say. I guess the teachers are cool, but the curriculum is the same as any other art school. People from other schools say that we have more homework than most of the others, but I'm used to this amount by now. Every student there has sleepless nights.”  
“Such is the life of a student. My studies keep me up as well.”  
She giggles, and I take note of how her voice sounds when she does.  
“Yeah, you're right. My roommates are the same, too, we always wake each other up in the middle of the night.”  
“Ah, you live in a shared apartment?”  
“Yeah, don't you, too? Almost everyone in our age does that as far as I know.”  
“I do not, I live alone in an apartment that used to belong to my older sister.”  
“Oh, sorry for assuming things. What does your sister do now, did she move somewhere else?”  
“I wish she did. Unfortunately, she passed away due to an illness. She was so young, it was cruel.”  
“Oh no! I'm so sorry for her, and for you. I thought it was bad when my parents got a divorce, but losing your siblings... that must be terrible. Were you close to her?”  
“Very much so, she meant the world to me. Thank you for being so respectful, I have mostly gotten over it by now.”  
“That's good.”  
She looks into her coffee cup and takes a small sip only to notice that it has gone cold.  
“Shall I buy you a new one?”  
“Oh, really? Uh, no, it's fine, I brought enough money to buy it myself. Thanks.”  
“I mean it, please let me treat you to another coffee. What do you usually drink here?”  
“Uhhh... just a medium latte... but is that really fine? I'd feel bad for making you pay when we hardly know each other.”  
“Do not feel bad, it will be my pleasure. I quite enjoy your presence.”  
Her cheeks go red and she smiles. She is different than I expected when I first saw her, but I am not disappointed. From what I have seen of her, she might be a part of one of the giggling girl groups I normally walk past, but approaching her alone proved to be quite a nice encounter. I will gladly pay the price of a medium latte to be able to find out more about her. Perhaps she is just the number 72 Sister and I have been looking for.  
I raise my hand for the waiter and order.  
“Thanks. I actually don't let people just buy me stuff when we've only just met, you know? But I think you're nice enough for me to trust that you won't rape me or anything.”  
“I suppose I will take that as a compliment.”  
“No, I didn't mean it like that! I mean... I really think you're a nice person, and-”  
“I know. I was merely kidding. What is your name, by the way? I am Korekiyo Shinguji.”  
“Really? I think I've heard of you before!”  
“Perhaps you have. My thesis on humanity's beauty came out as a book last year and it has been discussed quite a lot ever since, so possibly you have heard my name in one of the debates.”  
“Yeah, probably. I never read that book, though, but now that I know what you're like, I might get a copy and read it.”  
“I will gladly get you a personal copy so you do not have to pay. I have several leftover examples in case I meet people like you so I can give them one.”  
“That's nice of, you... Korekiyo, was it?”  
“My name is quite a mouthful, is it not? Please call me Kiyo if that is easier for you.”  
“It is. Okay, I'll call you Kiyo. You can call me April, by the way. It's what everyone calls me.”  
“An adorable nickname. Where does it come from?”  
“Well, I was born in April... and my mom always called me that because she said I was indecisive like April weather. I know, it's cheesy, but I like that nickname better than my actual name by now.”  
“Kehehe, nicknames given by parents or close relatives are the most beautiful. My sister was actually the only one who commonly called my Korekiyo instead of Kiyo, so it always makes me a little sad when somebody refers to me by my full name.”  
“Oh. That's- I'm really sorry about that, really. Do you want to talk about it?”  
“Thank you for offering, but it has been two years since she passed. I have talked about it to multiple people. My parents even sent me to a psychiatrist because I refused to eat or drink anything for a few days out of sadness.”  
Her eyes grow wide again and she covers her mouth with her hand.  
“Oh my god!”  
Right at that moment, the waiter serves the second coffee. I thank him and he places it in front of April. I take a sip of my cappuccino as well, it has grown a little cold, but it would be strange to order another one now. I see her glance at me with a confused expression.  
“How can you drink with that mask on?”  
I am slowly getting tired of constantly being asked this question.  
“Kehehe, do not trouble your mind with such unimportant things. See this mask as a mere accessory, like a pair of glasses or a necklace. What would an accessory be if it was troublesome in daily activities like drinking?”  
“I mean- yeah, you're not wrong, but... I just don't get how that's physically possible! How does the drink not just run down the mask?”  
“As I said, you need not think about this too much.”  
“Oookay...?”  
I take another sip of lukewarm cappuccino. Her confused eyes leave my face as she lifts her cup to her lips and drinks a little bit of latte.  
“Thanks again for treating me to this, Kiyo. I really don't open up to people that easily, and I never thought I'd get so friendly with someone right after meeting them, but you're a really... interesting and nice person. So, thanks for approaching me in the first place.”  
“Oh, you are more than welcome.”  
We drink our beverages in silence for a while until they are empty. She packs her sketchbook and pencils into her bag and I wave at the waiter to pay. April smiles at me again when I hand him the money.  
“I'm just gonna say thanks again. It was really nice talking to you.”  
“I am glad you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did. Speaking with you was truly a very interesting experience, so I should be the one to thank you for opening up to me like you did.”  
She smiles again, and I take my chance.  
“May I see you again sometime?”  
The smile on her face grows wider and her teeth become visible. Her eyes seem to sparkle as well.  
“Of course! I was hoping you'd ask me something like that. I'll give you my number so we can arrange another meeting, okay?”  
“Yes, please. I will write it on my hand.”  
She pulls her phone out of her pocket and taps the screen a few times before holding it up to me. I see a picture of her smiling and underneath it, her number. I write it onto my forearm, careful not to miss a single number. I smile upon seeing the number 72 in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can tell that I'm more comfortable with writing this than the incest fic I have going on. I'm going to try to update this as often as possible, but I can't guarantee anything.  
> Also, no, this original character is not based off irl me at all, but it was really fun to think of her.


	3. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo goes to bed.
> 
> motherfucking wow.
> 
> This is a short chapter, it's honestly just a filler.

I type the number combination on my wrist into my phone. I rarely use this phone, I only have it just for cases like these or to contact friends from university, but if there is a chance to make a friend for Sister, it might actually prove very useful. I save the contact as “April” and write her a message immediately.

"Good evening, April. It is me, Kiyo. I simply wanted to test if this is the right number, but now that I am here, I suppose I shall wish you a good night."

"Thanks! :) You have a good night too!"

"Shall we arrange a future meeting tomorrow?"

"Okay!"

I put my phone away. I want to tell Sister the news immediately, but it is already dark outside and I am tired despite the cappuccino I drank, so I postpone the séance until tomorrow and prepare myself to go to bed.  
Lying on my back, I reflect the evening and the conversation I had with her. She was certainly friendly and understanding, but she did not stand out from the rest. Of course, her artistic skill is something not everybody has, but her personality was quite generic, and if somebody had told me about her, I never would have talked to her. So far, all of Sister's friends have been a part of some sort of elite, mostly Ultimate students I met during my time at Hope's Peak Academy or their friends or relatives. This is the first girl that could be described as absolutely average as far as social status is concerned. I do have to wonder whether Sister would complain about her if I made them meet. As much as I love and adore her, I admit that she is extremely picky and it does not take her long to get to dislike a person, so I have always been extremely careful when choosing admirable girls to make friends with her. So far, she was happy with every friend I sent her, but perhaps I have set her standards high enough to make her turn her nose up at a “normal” person. I wish I could make April and Sister meet each other in person so Sister could tell me herself if she wants her, but it would definitely be strange to persuade her to participate in a séance with me. I will consult Sister and tell her as much as I know about April, and if she is not certain, I will simply spend more time with her. All I am concerned about now is what I would do if Sister declined. Would I keep her as my friend or avoid any further contact with her as to not make my lover jealous?   
I suppose I will simply hope that Sister is fine with having a friend that is not as extraordinary as all of the other ones she has made so far.  
I roll over onto my side and turn out the lights.  
“Good night, Sister.”  
Of course, there is no response, but her spirit is bound to this room because she died here, perhaps she can hear me anyways.  
“I love you.”  
I smile into the darkness and imagine her smiling back as beautifully as she always did when she was alive.   
“I miss you so much. Please do not be afraid that I will ever love anybody else, because you know my heart belongs to only you forever. I keep my promises.”  
The air does not get any colder or warmer than before, but I can hope that she is here somehow.  
“Tomorrow I will tell you about the acquaintance I have made today. Perhaps you will finally make a new friend.”  
With that said, I close my eyes and let sleep dawn on me.


	4. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo consults his sister about the girl he has met.

I take a deep breath. What an exhausting day I had, lecture after lecture and not even time to eat any lunch. I am standing on the train home, looking forward to talking to Sister and arranging a meeting with April. Thinking about her has made me curious to see her school and meet her roommates, I wonder if she will introduce me to them on her own. The next train stop is the town hall, I could get off and see if I can find her in the school, but it is already late afternoon and I doubt there are still classes at this time. I remind myself to not get impatient and talk to Sister before anything else. A few stops later, I am close to my apartment and get off to walk the rest. It is getting colder and colder outside, winter will definitely come very soon. I stuff my hands into my pockets and keep walking until I arrive at the house. My apartment is on the second floor.  
I unlock my door and throw my bag into the corner, eager to finally speak to Sister. I gather all necessary ingredients and excitedly draw the circle on the floor with salt while humming the chant cheerfully. I can hardly wait to see her beautiful face and let her spirit take full control of my body. I stand up from the floor and look at the flawless salt pattern. I have the circle memorized perfectly, now all there is left to do is to turn out the lights, light a candle and sing the song. I complete the last few steps and listen to the last few notes echoing through the room before opening my eyes.  
Sister is sitting across from me in her full glory, yet with a slightly annoyed expression.  
“Korekiyo, what is the matter? Do you need my emotional consult again?”  
“No, Sister, in fact, I have come to talk to you because I have very pleasant news to announce. I believe I have finally found number 72, and I wanted to tell you about her before I send her to you.”  
Only upon saying this, I realize that this reality could, in fact, be from a novel. Just yesterday, I promised her to work even harder to make her happy, and right afterwards, I found somebody.  
She smiles brightly and her eyes sparkle.  
“That is truly wonderful news, Korekiyo. Tell me about this girl.”  
“I was hoping you would be this enthusiastic. Well, her name, or at least what everybody calls her, is April, and she is about as old as me, perhaps just a little younger, I did not ask. She goes to an art school and I have seen some of her work, she is truly good at what she does. She told me a lot of what she draws was fanart for anime or games.”  
“Did you talk to her that much to figure all that out?”  
“I had coffee with her, as I met her at the coffee shop.”  
She cocks her head to the side and looks at me in an almost disgusted way.  
“You look for admirable girls at the coffee shop? Do you think these filthy Starbucks sluts are good enough to be my friends?”  
She has always been incredibly spiteful towards the stereotypical image of a coffee shop girl.  
“Sister, language. Besides, I never entered this shop with the intention of finding suitable friends, I just wanted some cappuccino as a motivation to keep looking. She caught my eye as the quiet artist type, I suppose, and I sat down at her table and we got into a conversation. We exchanged phone numbers and at our next meeting, I shall use my chance to bring her to you unless you are not interested in befriending her.”  
She folds her arms and looks at me critically.  
“There are several things wrong with the story you've told me. First of all, how often have I told you you should not rely on caffeine as a proper motivation method? Then, as beautiful as she may be, why would you sit down at the table of a stranger at the coffee shop? If it is for my sake, I would rather have you searching for someone more extravagant, and most importantly somewhere else. And, as much as I appreciate you asking, you should have used your chance to kill her and not just waited for another meeting. I do not want some random girl's number on your phone.”  
“We were in a coffee shop, there would have been witnesses if I went for it right away, and I doubt she would have been trusting enough to let me take her home when we had only just met.”  
“Still, Korekiyo, I do feel myself forced to complain-”  
“Sister, do you want her or not? Who knows how long it will take me to find somebody better?”  
“The information you have given me so far is insufficient for me to form a solid opinion, I am afraid. Can you tell me any more than you already have?”  
I think for a while whether or not she would like it if I confessed to telling April how much I cared for Sister, and I decide she would get mad at me for sharing such personal information again.  
“Well, not much about her personality, but she lives in a shared apartment with other university students. And I promised to give her a copy of my book.”  
“I see. I see, I see.”  
“Ah, yes, and she mentioned that she was never usually trusting enough to let strangers treat her to coffee, but she made an exception because I seemed like a nice person to her.”  
Now, I have gotten her really angry.  
“You treated her to coffee? Look at you, flirting so shamelessly when you have promised your heart and soul to somebody long ago. You can really be a true man whore sometimes.”  
“Now, now. You know what my intentions towards her are. I do not want to get closer to her in order to become her lover, I want to get closer to her so I can introduce her to you someday. Sister, I have said it before and I will say it again: you are the love of my life, there is nobody else for me and I swear that I will never turn away from you for as long as I live, and nothing could ever prevent that. None of the women I have sent you could ever compare to you and your radiance. I love you more than anything or anyone else, my lovely Sister.”  
She does not like responding when I tell her I love her after she yells at me, so I reach forward and brush my fingers over her holographic figure instead. She reaches out to me too, and in this moment, there is nothing I want more than to embrace her like we did in those happy times when she was alive. Unfortunately, if either of us leave our assigned spots at the ends of the salted lines, the connection between us will be lost, and even if I did, all I would feel is a change in atmosphere, not her soft skin. The cold, yet warm air brushes over my cheeks, then my neck and down my chest and stomach until they end up in my lap.  
“I am always so cold and rude to you, Korekiyo. I think it is very admirable of you to overlook these flaws and love me nonetheless. I love you too, my sweetheart, always. Thank you for all the effort you put into making me happy. I am sorry for always changing my mind so drastically.”  
“Do not worry, my dear.”  
My hand snakes down to the back of her neck and I try to lean forward enough to be able to kiss her ghastly lips, but the cold air tickling my mouth is not nearly as romantic as I hoped it would be.  
“Can you hear me talking, by the way? Last night, as I was lying in bed, I spoke to you hoping you would hear it, so did you hear what I was saying?”  
“I could sense that you were trying to tell me something, but I did not understand much. Were you promising to contact me soon?”  
“Yes, I was. I suppose you can hear me enough to understand the basics of my messages. And if I wrote you a note, do you think you would be able to read it?  
“I... do not know. Being a spirit is hard to describe. I am shapeless when we are not communicating. I can see my surroundings, but not very clearly. I can tell when you come into the room or leave it again, but I doubt that I would be able to read notes. Thank you for the thought.”  
“Sister, I think I shall leave now. I will keep you updated as far as April is concerned.”  
I think I can see a little tear rolling down her cheek as she touches my face with both her hands.  
“Alright, Korekiyo. I love you a lot, please always remember.”  
“I love you too, Sister. I will contact you whenever I get new information on possibly your next friend.”  
I blow out the candle, stand up and make my way to the light switch in the darkness.  
While I clean up the salt, I notice a small droplet of water where Sister was sitting. It is strange, but I only realize now that she has never cried alone in my presence before, and rarely together with me, too. I leave the droplet to seep into the floor.  
When I check my phone, I see that April has already messaged me.

Hey Kiyo! Are you home from uni yet?

I am now. I see you have completed your day as well.

Yep. So when are you free? I actually have no plans for the next few days.

Me neither, except for when I am at university, of course. Would you like to meet up right now?

I wouldn't mind that, my roommates are being annoying again.

Perfect. Then shall we meet at the same coffee shop as yesterday?

Okay! Just give me 20 minutes and then I'll be there!

Until then.

This worked out even better than imagined. I quickly gather my things and an extra copy of my book. Before I pack it into my bag, I sign it with “To April, from your friend Korekiyo”. Then, I spend about five minutes contemplating if I should take a rope with me, just in case. Chances are she will get a look into my bag and see me as a total pervert afterwards, but if things escalate, I want to be prepared. After thinking carefully, I decide to pack my beige hemp rope instead of one of the more elastic colorful ones so it would not be immediately visible that I took it possibly for bondage. The thought of buying her a bouquet of flowers of a box of chocolates crosses my mind, but I discard the idea as I do not want her to get the wrong idea. I do pack a little more money than I usually would, who knows what I might treat her to.  
I apply lipstick and put on my mask, careful not to smudge the crimson red color, then I leave the house. I am ten minutes early, but I would not want to keep her waiting.


	5. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo and April meet again and find out even more about each other.

Unexpectedly, I am not the first one to arrive at the shop. April is already standing at its front door waiting for me. I approach her, but she only notices me once I am standing right in front of her.  
“Oh! Hey, Kiyo!”  
“Hello. Have I kept you waiting?”  
“No, not at all. I just came here like two minutes ago. Do you wanna go inside?”  
“If you would like to, of course.”  
“Okay, then let's sit down at the same table as yesterday. I wanna buy you coffee today as thanks for being so nice to me, so what do you want to drink?”  
“My, how nice of you. My usual is a plain cappuccino, but I shall have it decaffeinated this time.”  
“My pleasure.”  
We take our seats at the table for two and I pull the signed book out of my bag.  
“Here, I brought you the book as I promised.”  
She takes it into her hands and looks at it carefully. She flips through the first few pages and laughs upon seeing the personal greeting.  
“To April from your friend Kiyo. Aw, that's sweet! Thanks a lot, Kiyo, I'll definitely read this as soon as possible. Some day when you make it big, I'll make everyone jealous with this.”  
“Oh, I do not think I will make it any bigger than I already have. To my dismay, I have observed that people lose more and more of their interest in culture and anthropology nowadays, so my profession is losing its value.”  
“Hm. I admit that you're right, sadly. I guess today, you'd have to be another one of those terrible pop musicians that just pimp their voices with autotune to attract attention. That just pisses me off so much, it takes literally no talent, you just have to be pretty and rich. And people like you that actually put effort into what they do get little to no recognition at all.”  
“I understand what you mean. I have researched this modern culture a lot, but the more I do, the more it disappoints me.”  
“You get it! I just don't see the potential in all of these stars. I wish we had a more traditional view on all of this and only looked up to the people who're actually passionate about what they do. And even if they have little talent, let the passion count! There's musicians that so their thing just for money, and I personally think that's just disgusting.”  
Her voice is a lot louder when she speaks about something she has a strong opinion on, it appears. I notice this about a big amount of humans.  
“You have a very strong classical opinion on the matter, it seems. Do you play any instruments?”  
Her face grows red.  
“Uh, yeah... I've been playing the cello for five years now.”  
“Ah, I have always wanted to play an instrument as such. You will have to play me something some time.”  
“Is there an instrument you can play, Kiyo?”  
“I know the basics of the koto. I could play you a simple traditional folk song, but I am no professional, unfortunately. I can never take breaks from my studies, and although I am having fun, I have no chances to intensify playing. And besides, there are no classes I can take here. I learned all I know from a friendly old woman in a little village I visited once.”  
“You visit villages for study? I mean, yeah, it makes sense, but that's really cool! There's gotta be a lot of interesting things to learn there.”  
The waiter stops at our table and April orders our beverages.  
“Okay, now... uh, where were we?”  
“My fieldwork. Yes, indeed, the experiences I have made there are all little treasures in my mind. I could tell you stories for hours.”  
“Please do. I wanna hear some of the things you've seen.”  
“Where do I start? There are so many pleasant and unpleasant memories I have made...”  
“Tell me the best thing that happened to you on a trip, okay?”  
“Mmh, besides learning the koto, that would be... the welcoming ritual of a village near Mount Fuji. Right after I arrived, the women tied me up and tortured me physically. I was whipped, choked, cut, any sort of torture that comes to mind.”  
“What?! And that's the best experience you made?”  
“This story is far from over. It hurt so much, it made me fall into a state of complete trance and I could not tell what was reality anymore. It got so intense that I was dangerously close to bleeding out, but this trance allowed me to reunite with somebody very dear to me, and they have not left my side ever since. It was the best thing to ever have happened to me.”  
She looks completely traumatized.  
“I'm just... not gonna comment on that anymore.”  
“Kehehe. Look, you can still see the scars on my wrists.”  
I pull my shirt sleeve up and show her the light red grooves on my wrist. Simply thinking about the delicious tightness of the rope makes me smile behind my mask. April reaches out and carefully touches my bruised skin.  
“Dude... doesn't that hurt like hell?”  
“They are nine months old. They hurt when they were new, but now they are not but marks.”  
“And if that was a good thing, what was one of the bad experiences?”  
“When I was far away from any pharmacies and got terribly sick, for example. The village's medic gave me only mixtures made from herbs, which only made it worse.”  
“Oh god. That sounds really dangerous.”  
“Of course it is, but I would never trade these memories for anything. I will gladly use every chance I get to go on fieldwork.”  
“I really admire your professionalism, Kiyo. You were the Ultimate Anthropologist at Hope's Peak, right?”  
“Ah, you know of this? Yes, I was. It was a good time, I made so many precious friends there.”  
“I always wanted to go to Hope's Peak, but all I'm good at is drawing and the title Ultimate Artist was already taken by someone else.”  
“Angie Yonaga, yes. She was my classmate for a semester.”  
“Oh, cool. What was she like?”  
“Not at all like you. She was very cheerful, bright and loud. There was a god she worshipped very eagerly. One time, I gave her a pint of my blood and she told me about him in return.”  
“Oookay? Did you ever see her artwork?”  
“Yes, I do admit her art is breathtakingly amazing. What I saw her make were statues of some of our classmates, and they looked so real it was nearly shocking. She offered to paint a portrait of me at some point, but the price she asked me to pay was a little too much blood, so I declined. I have heard, though, that her paintings must be quite surreal, but realistic at the same time.”  
“Now I really wanna see it.”  
“I understand what you mean. Unfortunately, whenever she is not influenced by this god, one must pay her a few organs in order to convince her to get a request done.”  
“She honestly doesn't sound as if she'd be a happy cheerful type if you ask me.”  
“Yet somehow, she does it. Sometimes, she randomly asked me to join her religion in the middle of conversations without changing the tone of her voice.”  
The waiter sets down two cups in front of each of us and we both take a sip at the same time. I smile into my cup through the mask at the thought of how clueless she is as to what exactly happened to Angie. She will never meet her god, but she has met the beautiful goddess I have given my life to, the best fate someone could ever imagine. I can only hope for April that she will meet the same fate someday.  
“What's Hope's Peak like compared to, like... your middle school?”  
“It gives you a lot more chances for individuality and you do not rely on teachers as much. While you do have usual classes like math and language, what you specify in is for you to decide. If you want to work in a team or alone is up to you as well, as long as your work has something to do with your Ultimate talent. They give you all the materials you could ever wish for and truly provide you with the opportunity to make a change in the world.”  
Her eyes sparkle a little sadly.  
“Wow. It was always my dream to go to Hope's Peak, but my only chance is gone now.”  
“Now, now. You are having fun with what you do at your art school, yes? As long as you truly put your heart and soul into what you do, you can enjoy it even if the school you go to is not as extravagant. Please believe me when I say that.”  
She smiles at me gratefully and suddenly grabs my hand from across the table to squeeze it. It catches me off-guard, but I keep my composure.  
“Thanks, Kiyo. You're always so nice to me.”  
She lets go of my hand after saying this, and it relieves me.  
“April, I am simply trying to make up for how friendly you are to me. I truly believe we can build a beautiful friendship from this.”  
A beautiful friendship with somebody who needs it more than I do, I think to myself while taking another big sip.  
“I'm glad, Kiyo. I do wanna spend more time with you, actually.”  
“It makes me happy to hear you say that. Let me know whenever you would like to do something.”  
“I will. Oh, and I'll have to introduce you to my roommates sometime! I think they'd really like you.”  
“Your roommates, correct. Please tell me more about them.”  
“Sure. Okay, there's Jimmy and there's Arijan. They both go to the same school as me, but Arijan's one year older than Jimmy and me. They're a couple at the moment, and... I mean, they're super cute together and all, but I'm kinda worried that something's gonna happen between them. They've been fighting and arguing more than ever recently, and I'm just scared what's gonna happen to the apartment if they break up. I don't want them to break up, but it kinda seems like I'm just making it worse every time I try to bring them closer together.”  
“I understand your fear. But do you not think they care about you? I am certain they would not simply mindlessly tear the apartment into pieces without considering what it would do to you. If they did break up, they would consult together with you. I may not know them at all, but you would have told me about it if they were unfriendly to you.”  
“You're probably actually right. Thanks, again.”  
“And if it did come to the worst scenario, I believe I could make some room on the couch for you for a few months.”  
“Aww, you really don't have to go that far. But thanks for offering.”  
I smile as widely as I can so she could tell I am smiling even with my mask on and drink more of my cappuccino while she sips her own beverage. My cup becomes empty quite quickly. I want to speak to Sister today once more, so I should plan enough time to go to bed at a reasonable time as well.  
“Now then, dear April, I think I should get going now. There are some things I need to do today.”  
“Okay, you can leave anytime if you want to. I'll be paying your drink after all.”  
“No, I will wait until you have paid, thank you. It was a pleasure to learn more about you again.”  
“About you too, Kiyo.”  
April quickly waves at the waiter and pays.  
“Have a nice day!”  
“Thank you. You, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of these chapters aren't that important to the plot, but they're here for character development. These are really fun to write for me, and I hope they're not too boring to read either.  
> I'm thinking of giving Jimmy and Arijan some more character development and have them make friends with Kiyo as well, but we'll see about that.


	6. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo speaks to his sister once more and tells his new friend one of his favorite stories.

“Twice a day, Korekiyo? I am pleasantly surprised. What have you come to tell me this time?”  
“I have just now returned from another meeting with April, and I keep my promises. I have found out that she is a passionate cellist and has a very classical view on music and culture in general. She also told me that it was always her dream to go to Hope's Peak Academy, but it appears that her self-confidence is a little lower than expected. I told her the story of the welcoming ritual, to which she reacted almost terrified. We talked about my time in high school for a while, and then she told me about her roommates. They are both men, though, so you need not be interested in them too much. Is there anything you would like to know?”  
She thinks for a few seconds, then she nods as if she was remembering something important.  
“Yes. What exactly was it that you told her about the ritual? Did you tell her about... your vision?”  
“I mentioned that the trance allowed me to reunite with somebody who was very important to me, but I never said anything about this person's identity. She did not ask about it either, so there is no way for her to know who I am talking about.”  
“Korekiyo, you need to be careful about giving such personal information away, as I told you so many times. Please control yourself, as much as I am proud to have given you such pleasant memories that you want to tell them to everybody.”  
“I apologize, but she asked me to tell her about the most pleasant experience I ever made on a field trip, and of course reuniting with you was the truth. Can you tell me if you want her now?”  
She looks into my eyes lost in thought and says nothing for a while.  
“I think so, but I am not entirely certain... oh, Korekiyo, you have truly found me a tough choice this time. I wish there was a way to meet her and speak to her in person.”  
“I do doubt that she would like it if I made her participate in a séance with me.”  
“I know, my dear. Hmmm... I am torn. I admit that it makes me horribly jealous to hear you speak of her so fondly and I do not want you to spend any more time with her, but I understand that it may take ages to find the next admirable girl. And besides, I do believe she has her qualities after what you have told me. Please wait for just a little while longer.”  
“Whatever you say, my beloved Sister.”  
There is a minute of silence, which we spend simply looking and smiling at each other.  
“There is nothing left for me to say, I am afraid. I shall take my leave, except if there is anything else you need from me.”  
“No, Korekiyo, I believe everything has been said. Go do what you need to do.”  
I smile at her sadly. It breaks my heart anew every time we say goodbye, but it needs to be done.  
“I love you a lot, my darling.”  
I blow out the candle before I can get a reply, but I immediately regret it.

I cannot focus on studying. There is an itch scratching at the back of my head and I cannot identify it. I have no idea what I want. It is definitely not lust, but the feeling is similar: a disturbance in one's mind that prevents the ability to concentrate on anything else but to satisfy this desire. This would be a lot more simple if it was lust, I would know how to deal with it. I take a spontaneous shower out of simple frustration and confusion, but it solves nothing. I catch myself thinking of April a lot, so I grab my phone and write her a message. She replies almost immediately.

Good evening. Are you busy?

No, already got all the homework done. Time to talk?

Certainly. Tell me whatever you would like.

Can I ask you for help on a school project maybe? We were asked to paint something with a butterfly theme, but I don't know what to do

There is a beautiful folk tale I can tell you that centers around the culture's interpretation of butterflies, if that will be of any help.

Maybe?

I shall tell it to you and leave the decision up to you. The tale centers around an old man named Takahama who lived in a cemetery as its caretaker despite coming from a rich and influential family. Most people found him strange, so he never married, either, but his sister and her son came to visit him every once in a while. The son was slightly uncomfortable with it, though, and so he often tried to make his uncle visit them instead. One day, they came to the cemetery together to find the old man lying in bed with a deathly illness. Around his head flew a white butterfly, and even though the nephew shooed it away multiple times, it always came back. When Takahama took his final breath, the butterfly flew out of the door. He understood it was a sign and followed it until it stopped and disappeared at the grave of a woman named Akiko, which appeared old, but was yet adorned with a few freshly watered flowers. He asked his mother about him and she told him a story with a smile on her face. Takahama and Akiko were deeply in love and became engaged until the young woman passed away briefly before their wedding day. Ever since, he had been visiting his lover's grave each and every day, until this illness struck him. This white butterfly must have been her soul, which noticed that he had not visited her, so it looked for him and stayed by his side until he died and his soul left his body to be with her. The story speaks of love that is stronger than death: Takahama was faithful in life while Akiko was faithful in death.

That's actually really romantic omg

There are plenty more stories to tell about butterflies, but this one is my favorite by far. Would you like me to tell you another one?

Not right now. Thanks, I have a good idea on what to do now.

Please make sure to show me the result once it is done.

Sure! I'm gonna start sketching right away so I have it done quickly

I am happy I was able to help. Let me know whenever I can do something like this for you again.

Somehow, the strange feeling is gone after this. I lie down in bed, satisfied. I know that Sister can hear at least a little bit of what I say, so I softly whisper into the darkness.  
“Do you remember when we read The White Butterfly together?”  
A rush of memories floods my veins and gives me a feeling of homesickness.  
“Do you remember... how hard it made us both cry?”  
I feel tears starting to build behind my eyelids, so I close my eyes to prevent them from falling.  
“You had never held me this tight before. It felt like nothing could ever separate us.”  
It hurts to hold these tears back, so I blink a few times until I feel them rolling down my cheeks. I hate crying, I hate how weak it makes me feel, but Sister always took me into her arms and caressed me until it got better and I calmed down. This memory makes even more tears fall.  
“Crying with you was so much better than laughing with anybody else.”  
I clutch my blanket and bury my wet face in it.  
“I miss you so much, Sister. I want you here with me. I want you to hold me again.”  
It is at times like these that I really have trouble deciding whether or not I should simply... die. At times like these, I want to see her so badly that I would not mind laying down my life for it. Sometimes, I cry through the night holding the katana to my wrist and hesitating to slice. I have things to live for, of course, but the desire to fully reunite with her, to hug her and kiss her gets the best of me and I have to use every single cell of my body to concentrate.  
Sister would not be happy if I committed suicide. I made a promise that I would at least wait until I have brought her 100 friends, and after that, it was up to me to decide. I have decided long ago. After all, it was always what a samurai did after fulfilling his duty. He would stay loyal until the very end and lay down his life in honor of his master.  
Harakiri, Seppuku, whatever you may call it, there is no other way for me. I will slice my stomach while Sister watches so we can finally meet again. It was my plan ever since we made this promise, and I try my best not to break it.  
I simply wish she was here to give me strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the cheesiest shit haha


	7. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April and Korekiyo meet again and she introduces him to her roommates.  
> While they are at their apartment, he shows her a side of him he never intended to show.

Two weeks later, I receive a text from her. It is an image with the caption “I got done with the painting, look! Thanks so much for helping me with the story :)”. I smile and take a look at the full picture. Somehow, she has managed to channel the entire story and transform it into one painting, with the white butterfly in the middle of the picture. It looks so dynamic that it actually seems as if the butterfly was floating, like it could fly out of the canvas at any second. The almost shocking realism strikes me as well, it could be a collage of photos. Admittedly, it is not something that would be exhibited in a museum as it does not show a scene, but the composition of this artwork is so incredible that I would be disappointed if she got any other grade than an A for it. 

My goodness, April. It is absolutely gorgeous. I am certain this will give you a very good grade.

I sure hope so but our teacher is extremely strict when it comes to grading our artwork. I'll tell everyone you helped me with this, okay?

Well, if you would like. But please, I only helped you with the story, so do not give your teachers the idea that I helped you paint.

I won't, don't worry

This might be spontaneous, but do you have any free time today? I would like to meet you and talk about this painting in person.

I have little free time today, but I think we could meet for half an hour

I suppose that will suffice. Will you meet me at the usual coffee shop in twenty minutes?

Sure, see you then!

I might be able to persuade her to donate the painting after it has been graded. I have worked together with the local museum's director multiple times, and although I have never done anything in the art department, I could talk to him about exhibiting this beautiful artwork. I would be more than happy to help April get some more recognition with this, but I have a feeling that she might not be confident enough to hang her art up in a museum. I wish to give her enough emotional consult to motivate her a little, and from own experience, such personal things should not be done via texting. I quickly grab everything I need, including my mask and lipstick underneath, and head out the door. This time, I am the first to arrive, but April arrives only five minutes later. She greets me with an unexpected hug, but I return it despite my surprise. Hugs between friends, a perfectly normal thing in her peer group.  
“Hi, Kiyo, it's good to see you. Did I keep you waiting?”  
“Not at all, I only just came as well. Shall we sit down?”  
“Uuuh, to be honest... I'm really kinda in a hurry, if the waiters take their time, I'll be late to my meeting, so if that's fine with you, then could we stay outside? Or we can sit down, but I won't drink anything and you'd have to finish your drink alone.”  
“Oh, I never knew you had a meeting today. Why did you come? It will make it stressful for you.”  
“I don't know, I felt like it would be rude to decline your offer, and it's been pretty long since we last met in person, so I wanted to come here anyways. I hope I'm not rushing you or anything.”  
“If anything, you are rushing yourself, but do not worry about me. I wanted to talk to you about your painting.”  
“Yeah, you mentioned that in the text you sent me. What is it?”  
“It is that I truly find every single detail amazing in its own. Anyone would be able to know the tale's story without ever having read it before. It is like an entire book or manga compressed into one artwork and it absolutely fascinates me. I want to help you get your skill out to public, April, and I believe there is something I can do for you.”  
“Oookay?”  
“You see, I have held multiple lectures and conferences in the local museum, and I have worked together with its director in close cooperation. Although I have never been active in the art department, I think I might be able to make him like this masterpiece enough to exhibit it.”  
“You wanna put my trash in a museum? Kiyo, I mean... that's really nice of you, but I'm just an art student, and I'm not even the best from my school or even just my year. I don't know if that's gonna work, I'm sorry.”  
“It is at least worth a try, yes? After it has been graded, I will personally present your painting to the director of the museum, and I am certain that he will be as impressed as me. If I can make the public recognize and admire your talent, you will be able to attend a lot of extra workshops and lectures without having to pay for any of them, and your school will be impressed with it as well. Being an artist is in no way or form a safe income method, but with enough support, you might be able to make it. I have noticed that you seem to be quite self-doubting when it comes to your talents, which is truly a shame. Please believe me that everybody would find your artwork beautiful. I do not want your skill to go unnoticed.”  
“Kiyoooo...”  
“Does it not sound good? Would you not like to make art your source of income, or would you rather work a cubicle or sell fast food?”  
“Now you're just pressuring me!”  
I smile and look into her eyes.  
“But it works.”  
“Ugh... fine. I'll give you the painting once it's graded and you can take it to the museum. Don't get your hopes up, though! As sweet as you are for doing this for me.”  
“April, do not get your own hopes down. Do not hope that the director will not accept it, because be assured that I will pressure him.”  
“God, Kiyo.”  
A moment of silence in which she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and adorably breaks eye contact with me to hide her cheeks growing red.  
“Thanks.”  
I chuckle at her beauty.  
“You are more than welcome, dear.”  
I can see her balling up her sleeves in her fists at my phrasing. A deep love and admiration for all of humanity has been blooming in my heart ever since Sister introduced me to its beauty, but April seems to be a perfect incarnation of a human's emotion and shame. I can impossibly describe the feeling, but somehow talking to her, observing her and spending time with me makes me feel so alive. I could never get tired of being with her.  
Of course, it is not love. Nobody could ever be good enough to make me feel the same as Sister did, she told me so herself, no, it cannot possibly be love. It is certainly a strong affection and the desire to see her more and more, but not true love. I have felt it before and it is different.  
“You know what, Kiyo?”  
She is still not looking at me, and I fear that she might ask me an uncomfortable question.  
“I don't feel like going to the meeting anymore. It's not that important, anyway. I wanna spend more time talking to you instead.”  
I feel her arm rubbing against mine slightly, and I fail to remember whether it has been this way before or she has simply gotten closer. This tension is suddenly slightly uncomfortable for me, so I take a short step away from her.  
“Then what do you suggest doing? I do not want to put any pressure on you, but I grow curious to meet your roommates.”  
“Oh, you wanna meet Jimmy and Arijan? I don't know... they might be arguing again, but we could try going if you want. And if not... there's a park near our apartment that we can go to.”  
“Lead the way then. I will follow you.”  
She smiles at me and gestures me to come with her. We do not talk much on the way, but about ten minutes later, we arrive at our destination. It is a house with multiple apartments, like the one I live in, but she lives on the sixth floor and we take the elevator instead of the stairs like I would at my home. Before unlocking the door, April presses her ear to the door to hear if anybody is shouting or arguing inside, but she wordlessly opens the door seconds later. Once the door is closed, she calls:  
“Jimmy, Ari, everything alright with you? I brought a guest!”  
I hear a pair of footsteps somewhere in the apartment as I step inside. A young man with curly dark hair and glasses stands in the doorway and walks towards me upon seeing me.  
“Oh, are you the Kiyo April keeps talking about? I'm Arijan. Call me Ari if you want.”  
“It is a pleasure to meet you.”  
We shake hands and he talks to his roommate while I take my shoes and coat off.  
“Jimmy's gone right now, he's buying veggies, but everything's fine between us right now, so you don't have to worry about us making a bad first impression.”  
He turns directly to me and smirks.  
“We wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of someone you like so much. You're all she talks about anymore. Look, Kiyo sent me a cute text! Kiyo told me a really cool story! I'm gonna meet up with Kiyo again, okay?”  
“You're embarrassing me right now, asshat.”  
April smacks him with a slipper and tries to play it cool, but I can clearly see the red tinting her cheeks. I say nothing to this, it would only make it worse, but I laugh at how beautiful she is in my mind.  
“I have heard a lot of stories about the two of you as well. I have grown very curious to meet you in person, so I am glad April allowed me to come today.”  
“Oh, anytime. Feel free to eat with us today, but we'll have to wait for Jimmy to bring the veggies.”  
April's eyes sparkle a little. I am glad she is happy to eat with me.  
“May I assist you in cooking? I would feel bad for taking advantage of your hospitality.”  
“Uhh, if you want, then sure. We can all cook together, is that fine with you, April?”  
“Hm? Oh, sure. Kiyo, do you want me to show you around the house first?”  
“Yes, please.”  
She takes me around the apartment, opens every door and shows me what is inside. The interior design is very different in each room, the differences between every resident become obvious to me during this tour, but every room has at least one painting or drawing hanging on the wall. I feel at home in this pleasant atmosphere. We end up in April's own room.  
“Take a seat on the bed while we wait for Jimmy, yeah? We can talk a little more.”  
I sit down on the bed and she takes her seat right next to me so that our arms touch again. Is she doing this on purpose?   
“Jimmy's a really nice guy, so I'm sure you'll get along with him just as fine as you do with Ari. They both love teasing me, so you'll hear a lot of comments from them saying I like you, but don't worry, they say that about any guy I ever tell them about. I'm just really proud to have a friend like you, so I talk about you very... fondly.”  
“How sweet of you. Yes, I look forward to meeting him as well. Thank you for giving me the chance to see the two of them.”  
She smiles widely, but then seems to remember something that makes her face neutralize again.  
“Um... can I ask you about that mask you're wearing? The first times we met, I thought it was because you had a cold or something like that, but colds usually don't last more than a week, so... can you tell me why you're wearing it all the time? Or is it too personal? You don't have to.”  
I could never tell her the truth, I could never tell her that Sister made it for me because she wanted to prevent anybody from kissing me, except her. I do not want to say nothing to this, though, so I will tell the usual... altered reality.  
“It was the mask my dearest Sister always wore when I talked to her because she did not want to infect me. I wanted to have a piece of her with me after she succumbed to the illness, so I have been wearing it ever since. By now, it is a part of me. I feel nude without it, so I never take it off. I hope you understand this.”  
“Oh... I'm so sorry about your sister, but that's really sweet of you. I'm sure she's happy, wherever she is right now.”  
Not yet, I think to myself, but with just a few more friends, she will be.  
“I hope so. All the effort I put into making her happy, while she was both alive and dead, should not go to waste.”  
“Can you tell me a little bit about your sister? It feels good to talk about things like that.”  
“She was the sweetest girl I have ever met. I am three years younger than her, but I loved her since I first saw her as a little baby. When we were children, I always said that I was going to marry her when we grew up, but that was only until I learned how terrible that would be. Our parents were busy people and rarely at home, so it was always Sister who played with me and spent time with me when she was not in the hospital. She was not just my sister, but my best friend, too. She loved folklore and was incredibly smart, but she knew she was going to die, so she gave up on pursuing her dreams of traveling and taught me her knowledge so that I would do it for her instead. She read me stories and introduced me to humanity's true beauty. I would never have become the Ultimate Anthropologist if it were not for her, I do not even think I would have ever gotten into this subject. I owe her my entire life, my profession. I am unspeakably grateful to her, but I never got to tell her this before she passed away. She was so young.”  
April's eyes speak honest compassion and she strokes my arm gently.  
“I always carry a picture of her. It is one of the last pictures that were ever taken of her.”  
I reach into the purse in the pocket of my jacket and pull out the photograph. It is a little worn out, especially around the edges, but the wide smile on her face makes her seem as lively as if she was standing right in front of me. I cannot help but silently smile back behind my mask.  
“Wow, she was really beautiful. You definitely have the sibling resemblance, especially in the hair.”  
“Yes, I modeled it after her. She was truly beautiful as you say, and as a child, I wanted to be just like her.”  
April takes the photograph into her hands carefully and turns it around. Sister had written me a little note on the back. I never showed it to anyone, but I do not tear it from her hands now. She reads it out loud.  
“To my dearest Korekiyo, I love you always and forever. Never forget the beautiful times we shared. From your loving Sister.”  
I have read this note multiple times, but hearing it in her voice awakes a new sort of sadness in me. I should not feel this way when somebody else reads this to me.  
“Please give it back to me now, April.”  
I take it out of her hands, perhaps a little roughly, and put it back into my purse. I feel tears starting to build in my eyes. No, this should not be happening. I mustn't cry in front of her, but the more I try to hold back my tears, the more the urge gets stronger. Excusing myself to the bathroom would be even weaker now. What do I do?  
“Kiyo, if you need to cry, let it out. You'll feel much better afterwards.”  
She wraps her arms around me in a comforting way, but she should not be hugging me like this. I have no idea what to do, I should push her away for Sister's and my own sake, but I cannot bring myself to. I do not return the hug, I simply sit there uncomfortably and let her caress me. The tears are flowing out of me, all I can do is try to hold my sobs in.   
“Kiyo, I'm so sorry, really. Try to cry it out.”  
Unfortunately, a loud sob comes from my mouth just the second she says this. It makes her hug me even tighter and softly pet my back. Somehow, being given this affection only makes the situation worse. If Sister were to see this, she would be furious.  
This keeps going for who knows how long. Fortunately, her roommate does not come back during this time. It takes me a while, but I calm down slowly. April releases her hug carefully and I see some tears glistening in her eyes as well.   
“Thank you for being so compassionate. I should not have let you seen this, though.”  
“Why? It works wonders to talk to people about why you're sad. You need to vent your emotions, or else you'll never feel better. I understand that you don't like to cry, but it's necessary sometimes.”  
“April, dear, I know. I simply feel weak for still not being over her death.”  
She smiles, trying to cheer me up, and hugs me shortly again.  
“May I use the bathroom for a second?”  
“Sure. You know where it is, right?”  
“Yes, I do. Thank you.”  
I stand up and make my way to the bathroom. I run across Arijan, but he says nothing.  
A look in the mirror tells me that I look miserable, even with the mask covering my probably swollen nose and lips. I take off the mask to see the lipstick completely smudged. I realize I have left the tube at home. This is a bad moment. I try to clean the lipstick at the corners at my mouth, but I end up wiping almost everything off. It looks completely ridiculous like this, so I remove the rest as well. It feels strange not to feel the bitter taste of crimson on my lips. I slip the mask back on and leave the bathroom. Arijan and April are talking about their teachers in the living room. I take a seat on the couch next to April and they stop their conversation.  
“Kiyo, can I make you something to drink already? Everyone says I'm the master of cocktails.”  
“No, thank you, I would rather not have any alcohol.”  
“That's responsible of you to say. Do you have to drive home?”  
“No, we came here walking. Still, I drink very rarely as I strongly dislike the taste of alcohol.”  
April laughs.  
“Yeah, I never took you for one of those drinker college kids that spend all weekend partying and wake up in other people's beds not knowing their own name.”  
“I have been to exactly one of those parties to experience the culture, but I stayed for exactly twenty minutes and left when a girl threw up on me. I have heard people say it is fun to be the only sober person on a party, but I simply felt sorry for everybody who was there.”  
Both of them look disgusted.  
“Yeah... I admit I've been there before when I was just new in art school. I wanted to fit in, so I went to a few parties and actually drank a lot, but I learned from the experience and never did it again. I'm not that much of a drinker by now, but making cocktails is pretty fun for me even if I'm not the one who drinks them.”  
“How selfless of you. It is admirable when humans only use their talents to please others. I became acquainted with the Ultimate Maid at Hope's Peak Academy. She always did everything she was asked to do, even if it was nearly impossible. Her “selfless devotion”, as she liked to call it, was a prime example of humanity's beauty.”  
“Oh, right, you were at Hope's Peak. April swooned about that when she told us about you. You were the Ultimate Anthropologist, right?”  
“Correct. I miss the times, I must admit.”  
“I miss high school, too, although I was just at a boring public school. I also wanted to go to Hope's Peak, but when I was that age, there was actually nothing I was really good at. I did a few things like basketball and piano, but far from an Ultimate level. I got into art during high school, but it was too late then.”  
“Will you show me some of your artwork?”  
“Sure. Hang on, I'll get it from my room.”  
He stands up and leaves April and me alone on the couch. Just as I am about to say something, we hear the sound of the front door shutting and stand up to walk to the entrance.  
“I'm home! There weren't any cucumbers, but I brought paprika instead.”  
“That's fine, we didn't need cucumbers for anything else than the salad in the first place. Look, we have a guest. This is my friend Kiyo.”  
The young man in the hallway looks up from his shoes and smiles at me.  
“Oh, hi! April told us a lot about you. I'm Jimmy, nice to meet you.”  
“The pleasure is all mine.”  
We shake hands and Arijan comes walking in as well with two canvases in his hand.  
“Uh... we'll do this later, yeah? We gotta put the groceries in the fridge, then I'll show you my art and then we'll cook, okay?”  
“But of course. Take your time.”  
The three carry a few bags full of food over to the fridge and place the food inside. I doubt I would be able to help, so I simply stand there watching them.  
“Alright, we're done now. I took one of Jimmy's paintings too, so you can see both.”  
With that, Arijan hands me the canvases. One of them shows a usual big city street scenario, with people walking along talking to each other, eating or smoking. The colors and lines are a bit blurry, but that only makes the atmosphere and aesthetic of the painting better.   
“Oh, that's the one I painted”, Jimmy says as he looks over my shoulder.  
“It looks very... hm, it is hard to describe, but I am in awe. You must have worked on this for months.”  
“It was a few weeks, but I definitely put in effort. Thanks a lot.”  
I take a look at the next painting. It shows a woman in different poses, sometimes nude, sometimes clothed, but always recognizably one and the same person. The realism is very impressive here as well.  
“That was an anatomy study I had last year. A woman came to our school and posed so we could draw her. The original was done in, like, three hours, but I liked the way it looked and painted over it. That took... uh, probably eight hours or so.”  
“It looks incredibly realistic. I would recognize this woman if I met her in the street.”  
“Really? Thanks, Kiyo.”  
April has watched this scene smiling the entire time.  
“And you've seen my art as well.”  
“This is an apartment full of amazing artists.”  
All three chuckle or laugh.   
“We try our best.”  
I carefully place both canvases on the couch. Arijan and Jimmy take them and carry them into their rooms while April stays in the kitchen with me.  
“Is there anything you can't or don't like to eat?”  
“Well... what groceries has Jimmy bought?”  
April opens the fridge and shows me its content.  
“Um, we have rice, tomatoes, paprika, apples, onions, corn, potatoes, mint, eggs, mushrooms... and like, milk and cheese and all that.”  
“Ah, there is a Taiwanese dish we could cook from that, if that is fine with you. I have the recipe memorized.”  
“Really? Cool! I'll ask the others.”  
She excitedly hurries out of the kitchen and shouts the news into the hallway.


	8. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April walks Korekiyo home after they have eaten with her roommates. A sudden little gesture from her makes him happier than it should.

About an hour later, we are all sitting at the table in the living room, each with an empty plate in front of us. Cooking with the three of them was a lot of fun for all of us, and we laughed a lot. The food tasted delicious as well and I am glad everybody liked it.   
“Holy shit, I'm full. That was delicious. You'll have to give us the recipe, Kiyo.”, Jimmy says, and Arijan nods in agreement.  
“Shall I give you my number, then?”  
“Sure. You can write it down... uh, here.”  
Jimmy hands me an empty envelope and a pen. I write my number onto it and give it back.  
“I will write you the recipe once I am home. I believe I should leave now.”  
“Oh, already? Yeah, I guess it gets dark pretty early this time of the year.”  
April stands up and grabs my arm.  
“I'll walk you home, Kiyo. It would be rude not to.”  
I would normally decline, but some privacy with her alone would be great.  
“Thank you very much. Shall we go then already?”  
She nods, and I say goodbye to her roommates and put on my shoes and coat before we head outside.  
“Could you show me again how to get to the cafe from here? I will lead the way from then on.”  
“Alright, just follow me. Um... tomorrow is Saturday, so do you have any plans?”  
“No, I need to do some homework, but that will not take long, so I would be most happy to spend the day with you. Do you have any plans?”  
“Not really, but I was hoping you'd have a suggestion. I heard it would rain tomorrow.”  
“I should show you my apartment sometime. If you would like, you could come over.”  
“Yeah, I will! I'll try my best to remember the way.”  
Right then, I see our cafe at the street corner.  
“Very well. Please follow me from here on.”  
“Okay!”  
We walk the rest of the way mostly in silence, I only give her hints to remember the way, like the clothing shop, the gas station and the train stop. We arrive at my house a little while later.  
“Alright, we have arrived. Thank you very much for accompanying me. Will you be able to find the way back with the vague directions I gave you?”  
“I think so. Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow then. Is one pm fine with you?”  
“Yes, that would be a good time. Until then.”  
She smiles and I see her blushing. Right before I turn around to enter the house, she says:  
“I read your book, by the way.”  
She gets closer to me, her voice but a whisper. She gives me no time to react.  
“It's really beautiful.”  
With that, she gets on her tiptoes and softly presses a kiss onto my mask, right where my lips are. My entire body stiffens at this sudden gesture, but it is over before I can react. She giggles at my surprised expression and cheerfully hops away down the street. This could be a scene from a romance novel for twelve year old girls, but I am almost hypnotized by this situation. I look after her until I cannot see her anymore, then I slowly peel my mask off my face and smile. It has been so painfully long since somebody kissed me like this, it has not happened since Sister passed away. Several times, I have kissed somebody in a sexual way leading up to intercourse, but this romantic, short and playful kiss was the first in a long time. I do not put my mask back on as I walk inside, I keep smiling and hurry up to my apartment.   
After placing my bag and coat in the anteroom, I flop back into my bed and stare at the ceiling with the same big smile on my face. I feel no lust, no love, but only happiness and satisfaction. I wish April was here with me right now, so that we could do this again and again until our lips are tired, but I suppose I will wait until tomorrow. The kiss might have only been through my mask, but somehow, this makes it even more adorable.   
I could contact Sister, but why would I? Telling her that April's kiss made me so happy would not be something she would like to hear at all, and telling her that I cried in her arms for several minutes would be even worse. No, speaking to Sister is not a good plan at the moment. I do not say anything to her when I lay in bed later that night either. Of course, I love her more than anyone or anything else and April could never replace her as my one and only, but talking to her is not a good idea at the moment.


	9. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April visits Korekiyo's apartment for the first time and while they talk about this and that, they grow a lot closer than Korekiyo intended to at first.

Ever since I woke up at six am, I have been cleaning the apartment and hiding the things I do not want her to see. I want it to be perfect so it leaves a good impression on April. I skip breakfast, but prepare a lunch we can quickly heat up and eat together in case she is hungry. I even ride my bike to the store quickly to buy a bottle of wine. She knows I hate alcohol, but perhaps she would like a glass herself. I gather some candy and place it in bowls all around the kitchen, I place a candle on the table in the living room and even go out of my way to spray some room spray to make it smell better. In my bedroom, in Sister's bedroom, I don't. Sister hates artificial smells as it always reminds her of the hospital, and I would never put April's wellness over hers.   
By the time I am done preparing everything, it is still just ten am, so I take a long shower, although I have done so just yesterday evening before I went to bed, and wash my hair. I try my best to choose an outfit that is elegant, but still something to wear at home. I apply my lipstick even more carefully than usual, although I do not plan on showing it to her. In fact, I do not know what to do with my mask. Her little kiss made me so happy, I want more of it, but the next time, I want her to kiss my lips without any fabric between us. I do not want to go without the lipstick, but perhaps I should to prevent her from asking any questions I would not want to answer. I do not want all the effort I put into the lipstick go to waste, but it would be wiser. With a heavy heart, I remove the crimson color off my lips and put my mask back on. It is my favorite mask, as I can eat and drink with it, but it still looks good.   
I still have two hours left, so I leave the house again and kill time by walking around. I have nothing left to do, but I do not want to do anything that could ruin the apartment's tidiness. I sit down on a bench and text Jimmy the recipe for yesterday's dinner, then I go to the store again and buy some fruit. I think about calling April and asking her to come earlier, but it would give away how much I worried about preparing for our rendezvous. I do want her to know that I care, but not too much. I take out my phone and text her.

"Good morning, April. Are you awake yet?"

She replies about a minute later.

"Just came out of the shower. Do you want me to come earlier?"

I do, but saying it so clearly would be rude somehow as well. 

"Come as early as you want, everything is prepared."

"I'll have breakfast at home, then I'll come, okay?"

"Of course. I look forward to seeing you."

"See you then!"

Breakfast should not take too long, so I go home already. I have placed all of the ropes I own in my closet, but perhaps I should have at least one handy just in case. Or... a thought that has never crossed my mind, perhaps it would be better without any restrictions, at least with somebody I am so close to. Sister would not be happy, but she is not happy about me meeting her in any way, so what exactly I do does not matter. Preventing myself from falling in love should be easy enough.   
After thinking this, I do take an elastic red one out of the closet and put it in my drawer instead, where I would be able to reach it from the bed. I check the clock and fifteen minutes have passed since I came back home, so I imagine she will come soon. I sit down on the couch and flip through the pages of a magazine until the doorbell rings. I stand up and quickly hurry to the door to open it. April is standing there, smiling exactly like she did after the kiss yesterday, and I can see she put effort into her looks today. She is always beautiful, but right now, she looks almost vibrant.  
She hugs me again, but her lips do not even graze my mask.  
“Hi, Kiyo! It's good to be here. Can I come in?”, she asks, while only pulling out of the hug.  
“But of course. You may put your coat here, next to mine.”  
She smiles at me again and hangs her coat on the hanger, then she takes her boots off and places them on the floor.  
“I will show you the apartment first, so that you know where to go at all times.”  
“Okay, I'm following you.”  
I allow myself to take her hand for a second as I guide her out of the anteroom. It feels so warm, warmer than Sister's hand ever did. I want more of this warmth, but I want to avoid making her uncomfortable, so I break the contact after a way too short time.  
I show her every room there is and she comments on the interior design, laughs about the stories I tell her and nods understandingly whenever I ask something of her. We end up at the bedroom, of course, it is the room at the end of the hallway. I hesitate a little to open the door, but after taking a deep breath, I do. The door swings open with a creaking sound, and she steps in before me.   
“Why do you have a double bed when you live alone, Kiyo?”  
“As I said, this used to be my sister's apartment. She was very sick by the time she moved here, and she often had cramps or spasms in the middle of the night. She slept in this double bed so she would not hit her head or fall off the bed that easily.”  
“Oh, I see.”  
“This bed is also where she took her final breath. It took me months to decide whether I should buy a new one, but I feel connected to her somehow when I sleep here.”  
She puts a hand on my shoulder and kisses my cheek. It makes me want to take her in my arms and hold her tight until her warmth makes me overheat, but I resist.  
“Why did she move out? If she was sick, it would have been the best thing for her to stay with your parents.”  
“She knew that very well, but she hated Mother and Father because they were never there for her. I was the only one to play with her and comfort her when she was feeling sad or lonely.”  
“You had... that sort of parents, I see.”  
“In a sense, Sister was a legal runaway. She organized it all herself and never told Mother and Father she would move out, she only told it to me. To this day, they do not know the address.”  
“So you ran away, too?”  
“One could call it that, I suppose. I visited Sister as often as I could, sometimes even for weeks when she needed me near her. When I turned eighteen, I moved in with her and slept on the couch until she passed away. Unfortunately, she refused to go to the hospital as it would allow our parents to find her, and so I was the only one who could give her medical attention. I am no doctor, of course, and I could not care for her enough to keep her alive for very long. To this day, I still feel sort of guilty for her death.”  
“That sounds like something straight out of a book, honestly. It sounds like you were both really independent people.”  
“Sister most definitely was. She paid the rent, the food, the furniture and everything you see in this apartment all by herself, only most of the books are our parents'. She was terribly sick and could have died at any second, but she still loved me and cared for me better than anybody else could. She was such an incredible young woman. Oh, I miss her so much.”  
“I'd miss her too. She really sounds like an amazing person, I wish I could meet her sometime.”  
I hold myself back from promising her she will.  
“Allow me to change the topic. Would you like anything to eat or drink?”  
“Oh, I feel bad for asking that so early, but something to drink really wouldn't be bad.”  
“It is a pleasure to make you something. What would you like? I have several juices, water both sparkling and still, tea, milk, and wine.”  
“Wine? I thought you didn't drink.”  
“I have it here just in case I can serve a glass to guests. Would you like some?”  
“Maybe later, thanks. I'll just have some sparkling water for now.”  
I grab two glasses from the cupboard and pour sparkling water into both of them. I hand one of them to April and keep the other.  
“Thanks. Can we go sit down on the couch?”  
“Of course.”  
She leads the way and sits down, I take my seat next to her.   
“This apartment is really nice. Your sister had good interior design taste, and it's also in a good part of the city.”  
“Yes, she was truly a wonder for doing all of this herself. She chose this specific location because she knew I wanted to study anthropology, and I can reach the university well by train.”  
“That's really thoughtful.”  
“She was. She was wonderful in general; beautiful, kind, intelligent... I was so lucky to have her as my sister. We loved each other more than anything or anyone else.”  
She smirks and shuffles a little closer on the couch to me.  
“My, and I ended up talking about Sister again. I apologize deeply.”  
“That's okay, I understand that you'd want to talk about someone so important to you.”  
She takes another sip of water and I follow.  
“Kiyo, do you have a girlfriend?”  
I can see where this is going now. Of course, there is someone my heart belongs to, but I will not tell her. I do not love April, certainly not, but all I want is to keep her safe inside my arms and protect her from all that might damage her.  
“No... but why is it that you ask?”  
She elegantly rolls over so she is lying on her side, but with her chest and stomach pressing up against my right arm. Her face is so close to mine that I can feel her warm breath through my mask.  
“If you did have a girlfriend, I wouldn't be doing things like this.”  
Oh, please, just kiss me. My heart, my brain, my entire body has been missing this warmth spilling forth from her ever since Sister died, I want it back, right now, please.  
“You know, I really like you. Stronger than I've ever felt about anyone else before. I'm quick to judge, I know it's only been three weeks or something since we met, but you're so nice and so polite and smart... that I just can't help falling for you. I want to see you more, and I want to spend every free second talking to you.”  
In this position, it feels like my lips are unable to move to say anything. I want her to keep talking, her words feel so good.  
“I want to be your girlfriend, Kiyo.”  
I still say nothing, but I slowly raise my hand to my face and curl my fingers up into the edge of the mask, pulling it down so slowly that it makes me impatient myself. I close my eyes as I peel it past the last inch over my chin and down to my neck. My breathing is rapid. She leans closer to my ear and whispers:  
“You're gorgeous.”  
Right as I open my eyes, the sensation of her lips meeting mine makes me close them again. She doesn't move an inch, but simply stays resting against my arm with her lips snug on mine. It takes my breath and I am afraid to move. Anybody seeing this would find it strange, two people sitting there as if they were frozen in time, not moving at all with their lips pressed up against each other, but I feel loved just like when Sister was still alive. I imagine the soft pair of lips is Sister's, and it makes me gather enough courage to snake my hand to the back of her neck and try to draw her closer, but she pulls away.  
“I'm so happy right now.”  
Now that I see her face, I suddenly feel insecure and guilty about having enjoyed this so much. I can only pray that Sister did not see this.   
“Will you please do that again?”  
It only felt nice in the moment, so I want it again. This time, I kiss her back like I am used to. April hums against me and wraps her arms around my neck, lips starting to move, massaging one another and sending shivers down each other's spines. She parts from me again to place her head on my shoulder. I have nothing to say, I do not even know if I truly want this or not.  
“Is something wrong? You're completely silent, Kiyo, that's unusual.”  
“Hm? Ah, no, I am fine, there is no need to worry. I was a little lost in thought.”  
She chuckles and rolls back over further away from me, but not before giving me another kiss on the cheek. I feel nauseous all of a sudden and pull my mask back up. The affection April gives me is so different to the affection Sister gave me, and yet it is so similar. It feels good, but also wrong at the same time. I promised her I would never treat anybody like this.  
“Excuse me for a second, April. I need to use the bathroom.”  
I stand up and almost run to the bathroom, where I quickly shut the door, tear the mask off my face and bend over the sink out of fear that I might vomit, but all that comes out of my body is tears. I sit down with my back to the door and bury my face in my hands in shame, confusion and a lot of other emotions I cannot describe. Why have I cried so much ever since I met April? I rarely ever cry by now, Sister's death hardened me, but in only the last three days, I have cried more than in the entire year before. Something about her makes me so emotional, and although crying still makes me feel weak, I am slowly realizing how important it is to let it out sometimes.   
“Kiyo, is everything alright with you in there? Do you need me to do anything for you?”  
Her muffled voice comes from right behind the door, she must have heard me sobbing.  
“Please, simply let me be for now. I will come out in about five minutes. Feel free to do whatever you would like in the meantime.”  
“Okay, if you say so... just, tell me whenever you need something.”  
Her footsteps get quieter. I take a deep breath and stand up. I look miserable, once more. I wash my face free from tears and rub it dry with a flannel. It looks way better now, but I still feel wrong without the lipstick. If I put it on now, April will want to kiss me again and ask me about it, but I want it on my lips. The bitter taste the lipstick has is just the taste of my sweet Sister's lips, and every time I put it on, it feels like she gives me a kiss. I take the tube and turn it between my fingers contemplating if I should put it on. After a minute or so, I place the tube next to the sink and whisper an apology to Sister. For a split second, I think I can see her staring at me through the mirror, silently scolding me in disappoint. I reach out and stroke the mirror for a second, then I unlock the door and go outside to see April again. I find her sitting on the couch, doing nothing but waiting for me with a concerned look on her face.  
“There you are. Are you sure everything's okay with you? Did you throw up or something?”  
I need to make up an excuse, I do not want to tell her the reason why I cried.  
“...Yes, yes I did. Do not worry, it is certainly not a virus.”  
“Oh. It wasn't because I kissed you or anything, was it?”  
“No, I must have eaten something rotten. It is out of me now and I feel better, so there is no need to worry about me. Thank you.”  
“Were you crying or something?”  
“My body always crashes down when I vomit. I apologize for making you worry, but I am fine.”  
“Oh, I'm sorry about that. Can I make you feel better somehow?”  
I reach out for her hand and press a kiss onto the back of it.  
“You already have, dear.”  
She giggles and throws her arms around me, but releases again before it gets uncomfortable for me.  
“I'm glad. Can we sit down at the couch again?”  
“Of course. May I get you a snack or another drink?”  
“No, thanks, I don't need anything.”  
I sit down next to her and hope she does not intensify the physical contact that much, but she shuffles closer and hugs my arm so my hand is automatically resting on her thigh. I will probably get used to it over time, it is not that I dislike April in the slightest after all.   
Yes, she is truly wonderful. So sweet, so beautiful and slightly shy, she is a woman that embodies humanity's beauty. How could I not grow attached to her? Perhaps being her platonic lover is not that bad of an idea. It will allow me to grow even closer to her and provide me with more chances to learn more and more about her.  
Needless to say, I get used to the position we are in very quickly.


	10. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo and April lie in bed together after... intercourse and talk about their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ima put a warning here. this isn't a smut chapter, but it's definitely referenced and implied, so let's call it a lime. If that triggers you somehow, maybe don't read.

Of course it escalated. Of course we ended up in the bedroom. I got to feel every part of her soft skin, I got to taste her and feel her insides hug me beautifully, and she let me hear her delightful, gorgeous voice calling my name and asking for more. In the moment, it felt perfect, like we were born to become one like this, but now, with her head lying on my nude chest and her left arm wrapped around my torso, some insecurities are creeping up my back again.  
“Aah, Kiyo... that was so relieving. Thanks.”  
“Please forgive me for doing this in your bed, Sister. She was simply too irresistible.”  
What I speak is partly the truth and partly flattery to April so she might overlook that I mention my sister again just after having had my way with her. All I have told her about Sister is only partly true in the first place: she hated Mother and Father, but only because they would not allow us to love each other in the way we wanted, and she bought this double bed so the two of us could sleep together in it, not because she was so ill. Luckily, the flattery works.  
“I'm sorry too... for seducing your brother in the bed you passed away in.”  
I am both thankful and angry at her for speaking to Sister right now. I hope that she did not have to see all of the things we did to each other. Contacting her again will certainly be hard for both of us after this.  
“Oh, Kiyo, I never would've expected you'd be so playful and teasing. Do you do this a lot?”  
“Well, you can most likely figure how important sexuality is to every culture there is. Thus, with every new culture I examine, there is a new sexual practice for me to execute. Rest assured, however, that it is mere research. I never truly put my heart into it.”  
“You're so cute. We've only just become a couple and you already say things like that.”  
I playfully kiss her soft long hair.  
“How could I not, with somebody like you?”  
I say it from the bottom of my heart. My feelings for her are strange, at one second I want to stay away from her and at the other I want to embrace her and never let go. At all times, I feel very affectionate, but sometimes, I fear that I might fall for her and thus prefer staying the distance.   
“It's nice to just talk to you like this. I really care about you more than anyone else.”  
She closes her eyes and I pull her a little closer. Every second of our passionate session, I tried to imagine she was Sister, but it felt so different that I gave up after some time. It felt different than with her, yes, but it was perhaps even more pleasurable. Sister lacked this comforting warmth, and although it was never her fault, it was something I always wanted, but never got. Now, with April snuggling up to my body like a pillow, this warmth is spreading through my entire body and filling me with bliss. I let my hands explore her body once more, starting at her shoulders down to her thighs, taking in the softness of her pearly skin. She giggles adorably.  
“I figured someone like you would be into body worship, Kiyo.”  
“I must admit I am, but why?”  
“I mean... you've written an entire book about humanity's unlimited beauty. You love humans, you love their emotions, so it only makes sense that you'd love their bodies too. I think I know you well enough by now.”  
“Kehehe, it appears you do. Yes, I love every part of humanity, including their physique. Yours is exceptionally beautiful, my dearest April.”  
“Says the sexiest guy that ever lived. Honestly, my first thought about you when we met the first time was how pretty you looked. I was kinda hoping you'd approach me when you came in.”  
“To this day, sitting down at your table was one of the best decisions I have ever made.”  
“I'm happy that you think about this the same way that I do. I'm almost ashamed that I fell for you so quickly, but now I'm just glad that I used my chance to confess.”  
“What a sweetheart you are.”  
I was suddenly dangerously close to saying “I love you”. I remind myself of what Sister always said to me: never be too hasty, never speak your mind without thinking about what you are about to say. If I told her I loved her... would it be speaking my mind?   
“To be honest, I've never gone this far with people so quickly, but you're different. You make me feel a completely new emotion that I'm not really sure how to deal with.”  
I feel the same. April makes me feel something I have never felt before and I cannot describe it. She makes me so happy, but incredibly confused as well. This emotion is so beautiful and exciting that it leaves me craving more, craving more of her, although I know I should resist.  
I roll over so I can hug her even tighter and we kiss, giggling against each other's mouths. This playful sort of affection was something Sister never gave to me. She preferred passion and seriousness in our relationship, I could never picture her doing something like this to me. She loved looking into my eyes for a long time before kissing my lips light as a feather, and she loved holding me against her chest for hours until we fell asleep together. Often, we brushed each other's hair and discussed folk stories. What heavenly times they were... but when I part from April's lips and see her glistening happy eyes, I get a strong feeling that I might be able to recreate those times with her. She drops onto my chest again and I caress her shoulders lightly.  
All I wish for is to keep her in my arms and protect her from any possible threat.

And in the middle of the night, I realize that the biggest threat... is me.


	11. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his new girlfriend leaves his apartment, Korekiyo consults his sister again, but the reaction is anything but positive and she enforces new strict rules on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note how kiyo loses his composure when he's being yelled at. poor, poor boy.

She kisses my lips as she stands in the doorway with her shoes on and ready to leave the next day.  
“Thanks for everything, Kiyo. I love being with you, and sex with you was wonderful too. Let's go out together sometime, yeah?”  
“I am looking forward to it.”  
She closes the door behind her and leaves me alone in my apartment, and with her leaves my happiness and it is replaced by another wave of insecurities. Why is she making me so confused, and why am I so drawn in that I cannot simply leave her be?  
I draw the salt circle on the floor with a worried expression. I do not want to face Sister after all of this has happened between April and me, but she is the only one who can truly tell me what to do now and I need to know, so I must bear her fury. I sit down at the end of the line and hurry through the song with closed eyes, only opening them once the last note is no longer audible. She is there, her posture flawless, but her face full of pure despair. Both anger and sadness spill forth from her and wrap me in a tight curtain that makes it almost hard to breathe.  
“Why were you so... disgustingly diligent?”  
Every single word is like a spear that tears through my skin and stabs my intestines.  
“You saw... what we did?”  
“I saw every second of it. I wanted to look away, but it was impossible.”  
“Sister, I'm sorry, I-”  
“Spare your pathetic apologies and rather be ashamed of yourself. You betray our promise without regret and now you act like you are not the one at fault. You disgust me.”  
“Our promise was that I would never love anybody but you! I never said I loved her!”  
“That is no explanation. You did not even tie her up as you do to everybody else whom you sleep with. You told her how beautiful she was every time she called your name. You kissed her to help her ride her high out, you kissed her after you were done and she slept on your fucking chest the entire night! How are you going to explain that to me?”  
I hate it when Sister uses profanity, it makes me feel how angry she is in a painful way.  
“I... Sister, I don't love her, really. You are the only one for me.”  
“That's what you always say, and I don't think I'm going to believe that for much longer. Korekiyo, this is the last border you've crossed.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Kill her, Korekiyo. Bring her to me right this instant. I've waited long enough and now I've seen too much. If you spend more time with her... if I see you doing that again... you'll never hear of me again. I'll stop coming to seances no matter what you do to apologize.”  
“But- Sister, please, I...”  
“And this proves it to me. If you refuse to kill her for me, it means she is more important to you than I am.”  
“She's not!”  
“THEN KILL HER!”  
I shrink and look down at the floor at the sound of her booming voice. I want to keep April.   
“Korekiyo, why are you not answering? Are you looking for a way to confess?”  
I raise my head and look into her burning golden eyes.  
“I'll do it.”  
“Say it again.”  
“I will kill April for you.”  
“Very good. Now, to make sure you keep this promise, there is something we must do. I demand you contact me every day, may there be news or none. I expect her soon, and any excuse will be another sign for me that you do not love me.”  
“Every day? Sister, I don't know if I can do that.”  
“Can you not do anything for the one you love? It is what you always told me when I was alive.”  
“...Understood, Sister. I will.”  
“Well done.”  
She notices the tears flowing down my cheeks.  
“Now, now. There is no need for you to cry. As long as you speak to me each day and bring me your concubine soon, everything will be fine between us. It will be just like the times we shared when I lived. We will build our own kind of heaven.”  
“Yes, Sister.”  
“Perfect. Now, remember: if you two have another date and you do not use the chance to murder her, I will give you the consequences I have mentioned, so pick your moment.”  
“I will, Sister.”  
“Splendid.”  
“Goodbye.”  
“Goodbye, my sweet Korekiyo.”  
I blow out the candle, but I have no strength in my body to stand up and turn the lights back on, so I simply stay sitting there in the dark. I lay down on the hard floor and cry into my hands for who knows how long. I want to keep April, but I want to make Sister happy at the same time. I have no idea what to do. This is going to drive me insane.

In the late evening, I wake up, still in the dark, still lying on the hard floor. A small puddle of tears stains the parquet where my head is lying and my entire body is sore from sleeping on such hard ground for so many hours. I groan and stand up, careful not to slip on the salt. I have not moved very much while sleeping, but the once neat circle is now completely messed up and scattered all over the floor. I do not even turn the lights on, I simply leave the room behind as fast as I can and sit down on the couch. I need to do something, I need to talk to April about this. First, I text one of my classmates at university.

"I am not feeling well. I will not come to university tomorrow. Would you please let the professors know?"

"Okay, get well soon"

"Thank you."

Then, I text April.

"When will your classes end tomorrow? There is something I need to talk to you about. I will pick you up at your art school."

It takes her fifteen minutes to reply, but I have time to wait.

"At three pm, but you really don't have to come to my school. I'll just come to your house instead."

"No, please allow me to do this. This is an important matter."

"Okay, then I'll wait for you in the lobby"

"I will see you then. Thank you."

I turn off my phone. It has started to rain outside, but I refuse to stay inside of this house, so I grab my umbrella and go outside. Without even thinking about where I am going, I walk all around the town in an attempt to calm myself down. My hands are freezing cold, but I keep walking and walking and walking. It is the end of November, all of the shops are already decorated with seasonal items like little Christmas trees and mistletoes. I wish I could go out with April on Christmas, and I wish I could spend New Year's Eve with her, but I do not want to make the sacrifice of losing Sister. I will not be able to continuously lie to her and date April behind her back, so I need to make the choice between my beloved Sister who has been there for me my entire life and the beautiful angel who has made my life so much more interesting ever since I met her. If I stopped killing now, all of the effort I put into making Sister happy would be wasted and I would have killed 71 innocent girls and women for nothing at all. If things progressed with April... if, perhaps, one day we got married, I would have to live with the guilt that I wanted to kill her initially. It would be a living hell, but marrying her is something I would pay this price for.  
And as I am standing at my front door after coming back home from the long walk, I realize that there is no more denying that I am in love with her.


	12. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo makes a confession to April when he meets her in her school, but keeps lying to his sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can call making yourself throw up self-harm, then I suppose this chapter has both emetophobia and self-harm trigger potential. Take care!
> 
> None of the new characters in this chapter are going to get more character development.

I slept on the couch that night and I wore the same clothes as the day before because I was simply too afraid to go into the bedroom again. I went out again, the weather was less rainy, but still chilly. When it was two pm, I already made my way to April's school, she told me it was near the town hall and there is only one school in that area, so I found the directions easily. Now I am sitting here, only fifteen minutes have passed, and I feel terrible. People walk past me and give me strange looks, a teacher has asked me why I am here and I feel sick. But I need to wait for April.  
I go to the bathroom for a second, and since I don't feel sick enough to throw up, I help myself out by shoving my finger down my throat until the gag reflexes overpower me. Once it is out of me, I go into the assembly hall again and sit down at the same spot. Strange, it usually always helps me to vomit whenever I feel sick, it gives me the feeling of having gotten it out of me, but this time, the nausea only gets stronger. I aimlessly wander around the school and look at the posters and art examples on the walls, but that only wastes another fifteen minutes as well. I look out of the window and see a few tiny snowflakes falling from the sky, something I would me usually happy about, but it leaves me unfazed. I sit down again, lean back and think about the snow. Sister loved snow, and she loved the stories about snow. She said it made her happy to look out her window and watch the little snowflakes dancing to the rhythm of the wind, and when the world was coated in a white blanket, it seemed to her like all sins were purified and this cold, yet peaceful wonder of nature cleansed us all for the moment. She was always so poetic. Unfortunately, she was never allowed to play in the snow with me, and while I was outside building snowmen and having fun, she was at home, wrapped in unbearably warm blankets having nothing to do but wait for me to come back so we could play indoors. When she moved out and created her own rules, she was old enough to have lost this playfulness and the snow had no allure for her anymore. It made me so unhappy to see how she gradually lost her inner child. She became a serious young woman with no humor, and as beautiful as she was, I often missed the times when we could play together. Whenever the snow started to fall each year, she always made me close the curtains for her. She said she did not want to see the snow anymore because it made her sad to think back to her childhood. I felt so, so sorry for her, but no matter what I did to cheer her up, winter was never an easy time for her, for us. The snow outside is now a little thicker and the flakes are swirling around in elegant patterns.   
A glance at my watch. Only five more minutes, or perhaps class is over earlier.  
I tap my shoe on the ground impatiently, and although I need to talk to her, I am getting nervous. If I went to the bathroom again, I might miss April, so I stay sitting there and trying to hide my nausea. The classroom door right in front of me opens and a mass of students comes streaming out, but none of them are her. Instead, Jimmy comes outside and walks over to me.  
“Hey, Kiyo! And what are you doing here?”  
“Good day, Jimmy. I am waiting for April, I need to talk to her about something.”  
“Oh, I see. Uh, as far as I know, she's on the second floor, but it's best for you to stay here. This school is a maze.”  
“Yes, I was intending to wait here since this is our meeting point. I would only run past her if I searched her now.”  
“True. What was it you wanted to talk about?”  
“Mmh, I would rather not say. It is a very... private matter.”  
“Oh, I see. Sorry for asking.”  
“Do not be.”  
Our conversation is interrupted by the bell ringing.  
“I'm gonna leave you alone now, Kiyo. Be seeing you around!”  
He puts his jacket on while walking out of the door into the snow. Students start walking down the stairs, and I am trying to spot April, but it is simply too crowded for me to be able to recognize a face. When I walked around the school, I also saw that there are several staircases, so she might not even be using this one in particular. It is best for me to wait in the assembly hall.  
A few minutes later, I finally see her walking down the central stairs, chatting and laughing with another girl by her side. She smiles at me upon seeing me and waves, then she hurries down the stairs faster with her friend following her in confusion. I do not even let her say anything before I take my mask off and pull her into a deep, long kiss. At first, she struggles a little, but then she wraps her arms around me and returns it. When I pull away, I turn my head to face her friend.  
“Good afternoon. Are you a friend of hers? My name is Korekiyo Shinguji.”  
She smiles and we shake hands while I pull my mask up with my free one.  
“Oh, you're Kiyo. April can't talk about anyone else anymore, everyone here at school knows who you are. I'm Andrea, nice to meet you.”  
April giggles and shoos her off.  
“Go away now, we have something to discuss.”  
“Okay, okay. Jesus. See you tomorrow then.”  
“Bye!”  
She turns her head to me and I take her into my arms.  
“Do you think we could go somewhere more... private? This is really something I do not want anybody else to hear.”  
“Oh, sure. We can go to one of the side hallways, nothing ever happens in there unless we have visitors. Follow me.”  
She takes my hand and guides me to an empty hallway, saying goodbye to a few people we meet on the way. Once we arrive and she closes the door behind her, I take her face in my hands to kiss her again. She returns it for a while and then pulls away.  
“What's the problem? You really seemed ambitious to talk to me.”  
“My problem is that I love you.”  
“What? Why is that a problem? I love you back!”  
“I know, my darling, and I am so very happy about that, but I should not be.”  
“What are you talking about? Please don't say we should break up.”  
“No, that is not what I meant. You see... long ago, I promised my heart to a beautiful woman. I swore to her that she was the only one I would ever love, and I was always certain that I would keep this promise, but now... you are here. You are so incredibly beautiful, you are almost divine. It was impossible for me not to fall in love with you. Now I am left not knowing what to do.”  
“Why did you never tell me about that? I asked you if you had a girlfriend, and you said no!”  
“She is not with me anymore. She passed away, as every woman I ever love does. I am terribly sorry for telling you this so late.”  
“Kiyo... I have nothing to say. I-”  
I taste the sour sting of tears on her lips as I press mine onto them.  
“April, I want to keep you. I need you.”  
“Then please... keep me! I need you too, I love you.”  
“I wish it was this easy. I do not want to betray the promise I made to her, but I would rather die than let you go.”  
“I hate being so selfish, but please, Kiyo, please be with me instead. I love you so much, I don't even want to imagine what it would do to me if you left me after such a short time.”  
She snuggles up to my chest, and I embrace her tightly.  
“...Yes, you are right. I should not run after dead women and focus on the wonderful lover I have.”  
I hear her sob and she presses herself up against me harder.  
“Oh, Kiyo...”  
I turn her tear-stained face towards me and kiss her wet lips carefully. This warmth is so precious to me, and I would move mountains to protect it. The way her lips move to massage mine feels so delightful, and I want more, so I slowly open my mouth and slide the tip of my tongue over her bottom lip. It elicits a shudder from her and, amused, I slip it past her teeth inside of her mouth. She moans silently, muffled by my mouth, and throws her arms around my neck to bring me closer. One hand on her waist and the other on the back of her neck, I keep licking the insides of her mouth and playing with her soft tongue until the door suddenly opens.  
“Hey! What's this supposed to be?”  
The sudden sound makes us jump and part from each other. A young man is standing in the doorway staring at us in shock.  
“Oh, god. You really scared us, asshole!”  
“Why are you making out in the corridor? If I were a teacher right now, you'd be expelled for sure!”  
“I know!”  
“Then why are you doing it?”  
“That's something I'm definitely not gonna tell you. Fuck off.”  
“Not yet, I'm having trouble deciding if I should call a teacher.”  
I would never want April to get expelled from this school, it is the only art school in this city, so I take initiative and walk towards the stranger in the doorway. I place a hand on his cheek and trace a line along his jawline.  
“And what the fuck is wrong with you?”  
Being taller than him is good in this situation.   
“Should I not be the one asking that of you? What good will getting her expelled do to you? Are you that desperate to make yourself feel good about yourself? No, you must simply be jealous of her skill. After all, not everyone's paintings get hung up in a museum. Ah, I understand you now. Catching the best artist of your school in such a situation will certainly lower her reputation and boost yours. In that case, I shall not stop you from calling a teacher like an elementary school student. Go do what you need to do. We will stay here.”  
“What the fuck?! You're fucking terrifying!”  
“My, such profanity. I am certain the teachers will not like this.”  
“What? But April-”  
“Yes, she is clearly the one at fault that you insult me.”  
“No, that wasn't what I meant! I just... I...”  
“Apologize. Apologize, or I will tear out your nerves.”  
My grip on his chin is tight and I can hear the panic in his voice. This argument is already over.  
“I-I'm sorry!”  
“Good. Now leave us alone.”  
I let go of his chin in a shoving motion and he stares at me for another second before turning his back and walking away, trying to act like he is not in a panic. I turn around to see April covering her mouth with her hand.  
“That was intense, Kiyo. Oh my god.”  
“I would not want to get you expelled, now would I? Sometimes, my creepy appearance and way of talking can be used in my favor.”  
“I would have screamed if I were that guy right now.”  
“Which is exactly what I was intending to do.”  
I take her hand and we walk out of the corridor back to the entrance hall.  
“Oh, the snow is already this intense? It just started snowing lightly when I was in class.”  
“Do you like the snow?”  
“Yeah, I do. It's so much more pretty outside with everything covered in snow.”  
“I agree. It makes the entire world seem so peaceful.”  
Still hand in hand, we exit the school and walk through the falling snow for a while in a random direction. Every now and then, we stop and share a brief kiss and a smile. If only this love could last forever.  
“My lovely April, I am sorry for saying this, but I am afraid I must go home already. Please, let us meet again as soon as possible.”  
“Oh, you have to go left now, right. Aw, I wanted to spend more time with you.”  
“I wanted that, too, but I need to study for upcoming tests at university. Do you have an hour or two tomorrow?”  
“Tomorrow? Mmh, I'll manage to get myself some free time if it means being with you.”  
I chuckle and pull her closer to be able to kiss her while picking snowflakes out of her hair.  
“Then would you please text me?”  
“Sure. I'll see you tomorrow.”  
She gives me another kiss. I always hated seeing couples in public that just could not keep their hands off of each other, but now I am a part of one of them.   
“Until then. I can already hardly wait, my sweetheart.”  
I release from the hug with a heavy heart. I smile at her once more before pulling my mask back on and turning my back to her to walk home. I unlock the doors and enter my apartment, but hesitate in front of the bedroom door again. I need to speak to Sister to prevent her from stopping to come, but I am afraid of her after the last séance.   
I take a deep breath before opening the door. The room looks as expected: everything perfectly tidy except for the sheets, which I still have not cleaned up after our escapades, and the salt circle on the floor, which is still completely scattered all over the place. I slowly reach down and clean up the salt to form it into a new circle, then the candle, the lights, the chant, I am rushing through it, but it works. Sister is there, her expression neutral and her hand spread out towards me. I reach forward too, and the cold air brushes across my fingers.  
“Thank you for coming, Korekiyo. It is good to know that you trust me.”  
“Of course, Sister.”  
“Let me know, darling: why were you not sleeping in your bed last night? Were you... sleeping in someone else's bed? You know I can sense your presence.”  
“I was sleeping on the couch. To be honest... I was sort of afraid of facing you again after you were so angry at me yesterday, so I was afraid of going into the bedroom. Do not be afraid, I did not sleep with anybody.”  
“I will trust you on this. Is there any news on April?”  
“No, I did not do anything with her today. I simply wanted to speak to you because I would never want you to leave me.”  
“I see. Do you have anything you want to say to me?”  
“No, in fact. I simply wanted to follow your rules.”  
“Very well. Thank you for coming to speak to me, my love. Keep this up, I will continue to observe your behavior. Do not expect me to make the rules less strict.”  
“I understand, Sister. I apologize for making you worry.”  
“Please do not misunderstand my intentions. I do not want to restrict your freedom or waste your time, I simply do not want you near anybody else. I am being so strict to you because I love you.”  
“I know of this. Thank you for taking care of me like this.”  
We smile at each other and I blow out the candle. This went better than expected, so I clean the séance up with a satisfied mind. I truly have the most wonderful sister in the world, and she is also the best lover I could wish for. I feel bad for lying to her, but what else could I do? I never thought it was possible, but I am deeply in love with two women at the same time.


	13. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo speaks to the director of a museum about exhibiting his lover's artwork, and she comes to the museum too.

University the next day is exhausting, and all I have to look forward to is seeing April. I make a quick stop at home to change my clothing and quickly speak to Sister, which goes well, then I leave the house again. First, I go to the museum as promised to show the director my lover's artwork on my phone.  
“Hmm, alright, it does look good, but this isn't something we would normally exhibit. And besides, I'd have to see the full picture on the canvas, of course we don't hang copies up.”  
“Well, certainly. The picture is being graded at the moment as far as I know. What I am trying to convey is that it is indeed rare for mere students to paint such amazing things, yes?”  
“I suppose so. Is it possible for me to talk to the artist herself?”  
“I believe it should be. Allow me to call her for a second.”  
I gently take my phone from his hands, dial April's number and turn my back to the man as I wait for her to respond.  
“Kiyo? Hi!”  
“Good afternoon, my love. Say, do you think you could come over to the museum for a minute? I am talking to the director about your painting and he wants to speak to you personally.”  
“Oh right, I forgot you wanted to do that. What's the nearest bus stop?”  
“The name of the museum. If you take the subway instead, you will be there faster.”  
“Alright, it'll take me a little longer, but I'll come. Where are you gonna be?”  
“We will wait for you at the counter in the entrance hall.”  
“Okay, then I'll see you soon!”  
“Goodbye, until then.”  
I hang up and turn to the director again.  
“She will arrive soon. May I ask you to wait in the entrance hall with me?”  
“I can't, I'm afraid. I'm waiting for an important call, and I might just miss it when I wait somewhere else.”  
“Then I shall wait for her alone. We will come here together.”  
“Okay, I'm waiting here. If the call comes at just that second, I'm afraid you'll have to wait for five minutes.”  
“I understand. I will see you later, then.”  
I exit the room and close the door behind me. I am the only one I see while walking through the museum down to the entrance hall. I sit down on one of the benches and look outside waiting for my lover. The snow that has fallen yesterday has already melted by now, as I predicted, and it is not snowing now, only white clouds are in the sky. I yearn to spend my winter with April at my side, but I do not even know if I will be able to keep her until Christmas. I hate lying to Sister, but I love April so much that I want to spend every free second with her, which Sister would definitely not tolerate. For now, lying is fine, but she will grow suspicious over time and it will get harder for me to cover up what I have done. Confessing my love to April to Sister will cause her to leave me for certain, so I will keep it a secret for as long as possible and then... what will I do?  
“Kiyo!”  
A familiar voice calling out my name causes me to look up. April is hurrying towards me with a smile on her face. I stand up and catch her in my arms.  
“You managed to come quicker than expected.”  
“Yeah, I spontaneously got a friend from art school to pick me up in her car instead of the subway. I wanted to get here as fast as possible, didn't want to keep anyone waiting.”  
“You came here just in time.”  
I kiss her lips briefly and let her go, but I keep a hold on her hand.  
“I will show you where to go. The director is expecting an important call, so we might have to wait for about five minutes.”  
“That's okay.”  
We walk through a few rooms without looking at any of the artwork to get to the director's office.  
“Wow, and you can really picture my painting hanging here?”  
“But of course. It is not any less realistic than other paintings, it tells a lot more story than any other artwork here, and it is just as modern as all of the contemporary art.”  
“I guess, but the entire aesthetic is just different. Look, here are just portraits or paintings of landscapes and I-I mean, I just painted something that could've come from DeviantArt.”  
I stop walking to take her in my arms for a second.  
“April, my dearest, you need to stop being so insecure about yourself. Please be proud of your achievements and the compliments people give you instead of constantly comparing yourself to others. You should be the one to set the standards.”  
She blushes and I press my mask onto her forehead.  
“You will never truly succeed if you lack the faith in your skill. If you hate every single one of your paintings after you finish them, you will lose all motivation to paint in general. I have been in your place before. Do you understand what I mean?”  
“Of course I do, it's just so hard. With all these great artists in the world, I really feel like I could never be as good as them and that pulls me down.”  
“You need not be as good as them. If you need to compare yourself to anybody in order to gain motivation, dig out an old painting you made yourself and try to do it better than that. Your only rival is yourself.”  
“You don't get that a lot in your anthropology business, do you? You're someone that people really look up to. When you say something, the entire world listens.”  
“I look up to you, April. You are always so friendly to everybody except yourself. You are not in any way worse than the people you compliment. You are wonderful, and not only in skill, but in personality as well. As for me, I have been unmotivated plenty of times. When my dear sister died, I felt like nothing could motivate me to keep going with anthropology anymore because she was the one who got me started in the first place. I stopped my research for a long time and thought about what else I could do with my life, but then I started missing it because it was so much fun for me. Even if it is just for fun, please keep painting and show your work to others.”  
“Kiyo, the stuff I make barely gets any recognition.”  
“And we are about to change that by hanging it up in here.”  
I pull her hand as I walk to the office, now faster. I can feel her trembling a little, so I pull my mask down and give her a wide smile.  
“There is no need to be nervous. The director is very friendly, and he liked the picture of the painting I showed him.”  
We arrive at his office and I knock on the door.  
“Come in.”  
I open the door a little and gesture April to go in first, but she pushes me forward and enters after me. The man pushes two chairs to the end of the table for us and we sit down next to each other. I place one of my hands on her thigh to keep her calm.  
“Alright, you're... April, right?”  
“Yes. It's nice to meet you.”  
“The pleasure is all mine.”  
They shake hands before the director sits down in his own chair.  
“So, Mr. Shinguji proposed that we hang your painting up in our museum. He showed me a very small picture of it, and from what I saw, it was indeed very well painted and artistic. But I would have to get the original, the entire thing.”  
“Yes, of course. It's being graded right now, but I'll bring it here once I get it back as soon as possible.”  
“Okay. Well, what I'd suggest is that we hang it up in an upcoming temporary exhibition about young, aspiring artists. If it gets positive feedback from the critics, we might keep it and hang it up inside where it won't be removed after an exhibition.”  
He shuffles through one of the drawers and hands her a few papers.  
“But before that, we need you to fill these papers and you need to give us the rights to your painting in order for us to show it to public. Of course, it's copyrighted to you, the artist, but we'll get to decide what happens to it as long as we have it here.”  
“I understand.”  
“So, do you agree that we will show your painting to the public?”  
I move my hand from her thigh to her own hand and squeeze it.  
“Come on.”  
She squeezes back.  
“Yes.”  
I smile widely behind the mask and put an arm around her shoulder. The director smiles as well and shakes her hand once more.  
“Alright. Then please bring the painting to us once you have it back and we'll gladly present it to the public. Here's a pen that you can fill the papers with.”  
He hands her a pen and she scans over the papers and fills them out for a few minutes, then she gives them back to the director.  
“Perfect. Thank you, and...”, he turns to me, “thank you too for bringing her skill to my attention.”  
I shake his hand as well.  
“I am most happy to help the museum out.”  
We leave the room and close the door behind us. After a few steps in silence, we turn to face each other and I slowly peel the mask off my face.  
“Kiyo...”  
The smile on her face is punctuated by the wet shimmer in her eyes. It makes me so happy to see her crying of joy. All of a sudden, she lunges forward and presses her lips onto mine so hard and fast that it almost hurts. I laugh against her mouth and lift her up from the ground, spinning her around in a playful way. April laughs as well and our kiss breaks.  
“Kiyo, you're a wonder! I love you so much!”  
I let her down and plant little kisses all over her face.  
“Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”  
She squeezes my body so tightly that it makes me unable to breathe for a second. She releases her grip a little and kisses me with more passion than I have ever felt. I kiss her back for a few seconds, but then I pull away and smile at her teasingly.  
“You do know they have security cameras monitoring us, yes?”  
“I couldn't care less right now!”  
She kisses me again, but I gently push her away.  
“April, let us leave. We have arranged a date for today, yes? You wrote me Jimmy and Arijan were busy this afternoon, and that we could go to your apartment and spend some time together there. So, what are we waiting for?”  
“Mmh, alright. How did you get here?”  
“I rode my bike here. You could try sitting on my luggage rack.”  
She intertwines her fingers with mine and walks toward the exit with me.  
“That's so cheesy, you know? That happens in every second romance movie.”  
I smile at her and pull my mask back up.  
“Well, do you mind?”  
“Not in the slightest.”


	14. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At April's apartment, things escalate between them again and they lie talking in her bed afterwards until they are caught by one of her roommates. Before Korekiyo leaves to contact his sister again, she plays him a song on the cello.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda the same as that other chapter. Everything leading up to it and what happens after it is described, but it's not graphic smut. Beware!

I give her a little break from my lips so she can unlock the door, but once she is done, I clash them into hers again and she clumsily pulls me into the apartment while still engaged in the bruising kiss. We stumble through the hallway to her room, she tears the door open and I lift her up by her thighs to drop her onto her bed on her back. I lean over her to kiss her again, but she places her hands on my chest and pushes me upwards slightly so I cannot meet her lips.  
“Kiyo, I don't have any protection this time.”  
I smile gently and brush a strand of hair from her cheek.  
“I do. Do not worry.”  
April pulls me down on top of her now and kisses my neck roughly while I pull the condom out of the pocket in my jacket, then I strip it off and throw it behind me somewhere. I feel her hands tearing at my shirt, and I sit up on her waist and unbutton it slowly. She looks at me, almost as if she was in a trance, and then begins removing her own clothing hastily. I slide lower on the bed and help her with her jeans while she is hesitating to remove her brazier. I pull them and her underwear off her legs and move up to her face to kiss her again.  
“What's wrong? Do you not want this after all?”  
“I want you to take that off for me. It was so sexy when you did that last time.”  
I smile and glide my hands across her soft back until I find the clip. Carefully, I open it and pull it away from her over her shoulders while I can feel her hands unbuttoning my pants with ease, and she softly strokes me through the thin fabric of my underwear, and my head starts spinning, and her tongue sweeps across my earlobe, and-

“Ah, Kiyo, you do this so well. It was even better than the first time.”  
“It was for me too, darling.”  
She turns her head to me and we share a loving kiss. I need to go home, I need to talk to Sister, but I could never get enough of April's skin on mine in this beautiful, post-coital way and I want to stay. I glance at the clock on the wall and decide to stay for twenty more minutes.  
“I am very happy that it worked out with the director. It is a shame how often young artists are ignored or unfairly criticized just because they apparently lack experience.”  
“Oh, I agree. Most artists don't get famous at all, and if they do, it's after they die.”  
“Yes, like Fernando Pessoa. Well, he was no fine artist, but he is the first example that comes to mind when I think about a now popular person who passed away before their success.”  
“I don't know much about that. Can you tell me?”  
“Fernando Pessoa was a Portuguese writer, or is at least known as such. During his life, he wrote only as a hobby and kept all of his works locked away out of fear that he was not good enough. After his death, one of his close friends published his literature and as of now, he is one of, if not the most known and influential Portuguese authors. I have read his book.”  
“Oh, I see. I almost feel ashamed that I haven't at least heard the name.”  
“Do you at least see what I meant earlier? If you lack the courage in yourself, your skill will go unnoticed or you will have to rely on somebody else.”  
“Kiyo, if it weren't for you, I would've been the same as that Pessoa guy, if anything. I could never thank you enough.”  
“Anything for you, my dearest. I simply want to make you as happy as you make me.”  
“I don't know how happy I'm making you, but you've definitely done more than enough.”  
“You flatter me, April.”  
“You flatter me, Kiyo.”  
She comes closer to my face and kisses my lips once more, and I return the passion, I push her over to be on top of her and hold her face in my palms gently. She opens her mouth and I let my tongue brush hers. It sends a pleasantly warm shiver down my spine and I tilt my head to increase the sensation, when all of a sudden we are interrupted by a door closing. April shoves me away from her instinctively and looks at me with a shocked expression.  
“Oh, fuck, that's Ari coming home. What do we do?”  
I look to the door and he is already standing right before us. Of course, we were inconsiderate and left the door open while we were caught in the passionate heat of the moment.  
“Uh... I'm just not gonna comment on that anymore, but... could you maybe close the door so I can ignore you next time? I really don't want to be that guy that kills your vibe.”  
The blanket we are lying underneath together covers us up, but there is only one way to interpret this situation and it embarrasses me. I feel embarrassment very rarely as I am usually good at avoiding getting caught, but being seen by my lover's roommate whom I met once before is almost mortifying. All of the sensuality that was in the air between her and me is gone now.  
“Ari... can we please drop this? You didn't see anything, we were just talking in here, and you're not gonna tell it to Jimmy.”  
“You owe me big for this one.”  
He closes the door and leaves us alone in silence.  
“I'm very sorry about this. I knew Ari was gonna come home at six pm, but I just wanted to lie there with you for longer and I completely lost track of time.”  
“It could have been even worse.”  
There is an uncomfortable pause.  
“We should get dressed now. Where did you toss my underwear?”  
The next few minutes are spent in silence as we gather our clothing from all around the room. Once both of us are fully dressed again, we sit down on the bed again.  
“I should leave now, I should have left long ago, but may I ask you to play me something on the cello before I do?”  
“Oh... uh, sure, um... hang on, I need to assemble the stand first, and the sheets are in the living room, so it's gonna take a while.”  
“That is not important.”  
I watch her set up a stand and fetch the sheet music from somewhere outside her room, then she takes the instrument and its bow from the corner of the room and sits down on her desk chair. She softly brushes the bow hair across the strings first to test the sound. She must really want this to be perfect. Then, her fingers start pressing the strings as the bow flies across them, and her hands in combination make a beautiful, harmonic melody. I pull down my mask and smile at her to encourage her to play more. I have never heard the melody before, but yet it sounds familiar. It has a soothing and calming tone, but the most beautiful thing is clearly the view of April looking down at the instrument, completely absorbed in playing and determined to hit the right notes. She does, everything sounds perfect as if I was listening to music that has been recorded in a studio. I can tell by the quick tempo and the equally quick melody that it must be an extremely challenging piece to play. From what she has told me, she started playing five years ago. It must have been hard to learn something so difficult without having been raised with the instrument, so it appears this is another natural talent April has. I smile, impressed and lulled by the music at the same time, as she plays the last few notes and lets them linger in the air for a few more seconds. It is like during my seances with Sister, I am afraid to move or talk until every last hint of sound is gone. She looks up from the cello and smiles back at me as I applaud.  
“April, you amaze me anew every time you show me another one of your skills. You are fantastic.”  
“Thanks a lot, Kiyo. I always wanted to play an instrument, but my parents never let me have any classes, so I took it into my own hands after I moved out. I love playing the cello, I wish I could've gotten started earlier.”  
“May I ask the name of the song you were playing?”  
“Oh, it's the Suite Nr. 1 in G-Major by Bach. It's in a sort of composition book specifically for the cello, but you can also look for it in the BWV, number 1007.”  
“I will remember it. Thank you for playing this for me, you performed wonderfully.”  
“I'm glad you think so. I might get used to playing for you.”  
“Kehehe, I would love that.”  
I stand up, kiss her cheek and open the door of her room.  
“Well then, I shall take my leave. It is too bad I cannot stay longer, but university truly keeps me busy at the moment. I hope you understand.”  
“Of course, Kiyo. Do you want me to walk you home?”  
“No, thank you. I know the way by now, and you should not go out into the cold so late.”  
“Kiyo, I'm not a little kid.”  
“...Yes, I apologize. I suppose taking care of my sister for so long made me a little overprotective of the ones I love. Still, please stay here.”  
She walks me to the front door, where we share another kiss.  
“Bye. Thanks for the... experience again. I really loved it.”  
She smiles and shuts the door before I can respond. I take the elevator down and exit the building to see a light layer of snow covering the ground, and more snow falling from thick clouds. It is already dark as deep night although it is not even half past six. I walk the way home through the cold. I did not close the curtains for Sister. I wonder if she can tell, I will ask her later. For now, I take the longer way home so I can enjoy the atmosphere for longer. Some people already have Christmas lights decorating their windows or yards and I see a few couples walking along the streets hand in hand. When Sister was alive, this was something I always wanted to do with her. I wanted us to be like a normal couple, but it was impossible for many reasons. Our love was different, but it was not any less beautiful. Sensuality was important to her, and anonymity was essential to keep it a secret. Sexuality was always difficult for us to decide upon. As teenagers, we tried it once out of plain curiosity and it felt strange. Not quite wrong, the love was stronger, but strange. After that, we did not do it for a long time and waited until Sister moved out. That time, it was better, but still somehow... indescribable, something was not right about it. Regardless, we loved the pleasure, so during the times I visited, we had intercourse on a regular basis. She passed out a few times, but she wanted more and assured me it was nothing serious. She recovered quite quickly each time, but it worried me, so I refused to give her what she wanted sometimes. She took control whenever that was the case. I liked being dominated a little, but I refused to submit to anybody else after that.  
Before I know, I am standing in front of the apartment. The usual procedure repeats itself; preparing, singing, waiting, looking, and Sister is there.  
“You came, Korekiyo. I am glad. You know I do not wish to leave you.”  
“I hope so, Sister. There is nothing new to report today, either. I simply wanted to speak to you as your rules say, and tell you that I love you.”  
“It will always stay that way, Korekiyo. I love you too.”  
She leans forward and looks into my eyes with a smile, but it neutralizes after a few seconds.  
“Korekiyo, did you have sex today? I can see it in your eyes.”  
“What? How can you tell that? I did not.”  
It is a lie that hurts to tell, but I will not be able to convince her I had sex with somebody else besides April, she knows I would never accept a whore's offer.  
“I might be mistaken. I apologize, but your eyes have a certain shimmer today.”  
“I am simply happy to see you, and I got an A in a recent test.”  
“Oh, I see. Congratulations, sweet Korekiyo, although good grades are nothing new. You have always been a smart student. I may never have said this, but I am truly proud of you. Thank you for living the dream I could not realize myself for me.”  
“Thank you for sharing your dream with me. I owe you the interest I have in my profession.”  
“Oh, sweet Korekiyo, you know it makes me happier than you. I can see all of humanity's beauty through your eyes.”  
“I miss the times when I sat on your lap and you read me stories.”  
“I miss the times too.”  
She looks down at the floor sadly.  
“Korekiyo, I am so sorry that I became so bitter with age. As a child, it seemed like my life would last forever, but as I grew older, I felt my death approaching and it shattered me to know I would leave you alone. I know you missed my playful state of mind, but I was so scared. I was so afraid.”  
“Of course you were, Sister. I loved you regardless.”  
“Still, I could have been a better lover, a better sibling.”  
“No, not for me. You were the best.”  
“You are too sweet to me.”  
“Sister, have you noticed that it has started to snow? Do you want me to close the curtains?”  
She covers her mouth with her hands and I see a few tears dripping from her eyes.  
“Korekiyo...”  
I wish I could take her into my arms and hold her until she stops crying.  
“Korekiyo...!”  
I try to touch her, but she fades right through me as always.  
“Cry it out, Sister. You will feel better afterwards.”  
Something that April taught me, and I am still thankful to her. Her holographic tears flow out of her eyes in an unnaturally large amount, and she weeps into her hands adorably, but it shatters my heart to see her like this. I look at her sadly and sob a little as well.  
“Please leave them open from now on...”  
“I will, Sister, my lovely. You mustn't apologize for being a wonderful sister. You may have been a little serious and strict, but you were never unfriendly.”  
“I... I really hope I sufficed as a lover. Korekiyo, I loved you always, and I still do.”  
“You were perfect for me. The two of us were made to fall in love.”  
A smile comes to her face after she has blinked back the tears.  
“I believe so too.”  
“Sister, as sorry as I am to say this, I fear I must leave you alone now. There are some matters I need to attend to.”  
“Then I shall not stop you. Please come again tomorrow.”  
“Rest assured I will. Goodbye for now.”  
“Goodbye.”


	15. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is a Christmas market date where they talk about air conditioning, alcohol and love hotels.

The last few days, both her and me were too busy to meet or go on any dates, but we spared some time on the weekend to go to a Christmas market together as December has started. I take the train and wait for my lover at the station that is closest to her house. By now, the snow layer on the floor is unexpectedly quite thick and it is so cold that I have to wear my warmest mask and mittens. It is still snowing heavily while I am waiting for her. I came almost thirty minutes early just in case, but she comes a lot quicker than I expected. Her greeting is warm, but the cold air still hits my mouth and nose as she pulls the mask down, so I put it back on after she pulls away from my lips.  
“My my, April, you came so early. I doubt the market will even be opened already if we arrive this soon.”  
“Kiyo, I know you've been waiting here for longer. Spontaneous idea, but how about we take a little walk in the snow first? We've never been to the park near our place, right?”  
“Yes, that is true. I suppose we are here already, so please show me where to go. A romantic walk in the snow sounds perfect.”  
“I'm glad. Kiyo, you're such a lovely person.”  
She takes my hand through her gloves and my mittens and I laugh at how I fail to feel her hand at all. She laughs as well and slaps my arm playfully.  
“My deepest apologies, but I am very sensitive to temperature changes.”  
She laughs harder and hugs my arm.  
“It's really strange, actually. You walk around with this mask all the time, even at home, and you're sensitive to cold?”  
“It might be because I never activate my air conditioner, especially in the bedroom.”  
“Really? Even in the summer?”  
“No, and guess why. It is because of Sister again.”  
“Are you into... like, the occult and stuff and do you only leave the AC off because you fear it'll chase her ghost away?”  
“Well, no. I have thought about it, but the primary reason was another one. She hated the hospital and she hated the artificial smells all over the place, so she only wanted natural air. I opened the windows for her a lot, and I still do so, but the air conditioner is something I have stopped considering long ago.”  
“I see. You're such a caring person, I'm so lucky to have somebody like you.”  
We reach the park near her apartment.   
“Alright, we're here. Do you want to sit on a bench or walk around?”  
“I would prefer walking around. Sweeping snow off of benches does not sound like an alluring activity right now.”  
“Yeah, you're right.”  
Hand in hand, we aimlessly wander through the snow. There are absolutely no people in this park except for us, so we could do whatever we please, but I could keep walking with her for years, so I do not want or need to do anything else.  
“Are you looking for anything in particular on the market?”  
“Hmmm... no. I just wanna walk around, maybe have a cup of punch, and if I see something I like, I'll buy it, but there's nothing I really need. How about you?”  
“I am the same. If you see anything you would like, let me know and I will gladly treat you to it.”  
“Kiyo, no. You've bought me too much already, I already feel like a spoiled little girl. I'm gonna buy you something, if anything.”  
“But I do not need anything. I simply wanted to take you out on a date because it is a good location in December.”  
“Not even punch?”  
“Alcohol, my dearest.”  
“Mmh... I don't want you to keep buying me things. It just feels like I'm using you.”  
“There are many things you can do for me in return. I would love to hear another little cello concert from you sometime, or we could simply go on more dates like this.”  
“That's something I'd do no matter what.”  
“Then you need not feel bad about letting me thank you properly. I love you.”  
We stand still for a second, and she pulls my mask off to kiss me full of passion. I pull her closer and move away from her lips to kiss her forehead instead.  
“Well, April, shall we go?”  
She adorably stands up on her tiptoes in order to reach my forehead so she can kiss it like I did.  
“Okay.”  
We run the last distance to the station to avoid missing the train, and we do catch it and even get a seat. I take my mitten off and she her glove so we can hold hands properly while we are not out in the snow.  
“Hey, Kiyo... um, this might be a pretty specific thing to ask, but do you think I could sleep over at your place tonight? I think it's best if I don't go home tonight. The two got in a pretty serious fight again and I'd rather leave them some privacy.”  
This almost stabs a spear through my heart. If it were not for Sister, I would decorate my bed with rose blossoms for her, but if Sister saw us sleeping together again, she would get mad, and after having talked to her so gently the last few days, I would never want this.  
“Mmh... how do I say this? I fear that it is not possible in my apartment, I am sorry. I will gladly spend the night with you, but it is simply not possible where I live.”  
“What? Why?”  
“I do not wish to lie to you, sweetheart, but I do not want to tell you either. It is something you are better off not knowing.”  
“I don't like you keeping secrets from me like that, but I guess that really can't be helped then. I hate saying this, but I'm afraid having you stay over at my place tonight will only make the tension worse. I'm sorry.”  
“No, I understand. Do you still wish to spend the night together? I most certainly do, at least.”  
“Of course I do, but our apartments are both no possibilities. What do we do except for that?”  
“There is always the choice of a love hotel or something of the sort. I know one whose prices are fairly low.”  
“Wow. That was straight forward, Kiyo.”  
“Do you mind?”  
“I mean... no, of course not, but I've never been to a love hotel. I'll do it with you, though.”  
“Well then, shall we look for it this evening?”  
“Yes!”  
“Oh, look. This is our stop. Let us get off.”  
I pull her by the hand and we exit the train, I put my mitten back on. We walk the way to the marketplace.  
“Oooh! Look how pretty it is, with all of the lights on the stands!”  
“Indeed it is.”  
In the middle of the square, there is a large tree decorated with lights and garlands. Each stand has its own decorative items, but most of them have fairy lights or lanterns to attract the visitors. From somewhere, I can hear a street band performing a few Christmas songs. People dressed in warm clothing are walking around talking, laughing and enjoying the atmosphere just as much as we are.  
“It has been quite long since I have been to a market like this. The allure is only half as big without someone as lovely as you by my side.”  
“I've been to a market just last year, to find some gifts for my family and friends. But you're right, it's a lot better if you're together with someone.”  
“Then let us enjoy this. You wanted a cup of punch, correct?”  
“Mhm. The stand is pretty obvious from here.”  
It is the first one at the entrance, impossible to miss. We walk over to it and look at the menu and price list, then April orders one cup.  
“Are you sure you don't want anything?”  
“I am positive. I do not wish to hold you back from drinking your own, though.”  
“No, you're not, but I'm just desperate to buy you something. Okay, maybe you'll find something later.”  
Her order arrives and she pays, I know she would refuse if I offered to treat her to it, so I do not even ask. I realize how rude this might come out, but she simply smiles. Her order is finished and she picks it up and takes a sip.  
“Mmh. It's really hot, but good. Do you want a sip?”  
“Ah... no, thank you.”  
“Kiyo, punch really doesn't have much alcohol in it, you shouldn't worry about that. Come on, it's good.”  
I repulsively take the cup she is holding up to me, unzip my mask and take a small sip. It is burning hot, and the sting of alcohol tickles my throat as I swallow the beverage. My face cramps up instinctively.  
“Wow. Is it really that bad?”  
“Do not misunderstand... this taste is simply not my type. Thank you for offering.”  
She takes the cup back, but keeps a hold on my hand to walk between the stands with her.  
“Do you ever even drink? Or is there some sort of medical condition that you have?”  
“I could drink if I wanted to, I simply... do not understand why I should. It will only do harm to my body and it tastes bad. Sometimes, during fieldwork, I was given a special sake or other alcoholic drink in order to prepare myself for a certain ritual or a séance of some sort. At those times, I was able to endure it, but whenever I can avoid alcohol, I do.”  
She looks down at her punch and traces the rim of her cup with a gloved finger.  
“I apologize, I did not mean to make you feel guilty.”  
“It's okay, I'm just admiring your mindset. There are usually like two kinds of people; the hardcore drinkers and the alcohol-phobics. I think being in the middle on that subject is perfect.”  
“Well, but you are no... hardcore drinker, are you?”  
“I like to say that I'm not. I mean, I do like a glass of wine every now and then, but I don't drink liters of vodka until I can't remember my name. I've never done that.”  
“I never took you for that sort of person. I am happy to hear that.”  
“And you don't smoke or anything either?”  
“No. During several trips, I was more or less forced to consume psychedelic herbs, but it was nothing addictive and it has not affected my body in any serious way. It is the same as with alcohol, I suppose, as I will avoid these drugs at any cost, but during trips, I am able to get it over with.”  
“You're really amazing. I know a lot of people that would beg to have themselves under control like you, Kiyo.”  
“You are not one of those people, are you? I believe I would know by now if you were.”  
“No, no! I'm not. I can imagine that you wouldn't wanna date a junkie.”  
“Yes. I admit that if you told me you were, I would have wanted to stay away from you.”  
“Yeah... drugs can really change people entirely. And dating one of the many people that do them influences your own behavior, so I understand.”  
“The only thing that makes me weak is coffee. I have a lot to do, and sometimes it is really hard for me to stay up long enough without caffeine.”  
“Oh, same here. Every art student I know relies their life on caffeine.”  
“Such is the life, I suppose.”  
“Haha, exactly.”  
We walk in silence for a while and I watch her take a sip of punch every now and then. Soon, the cup is empty and we bring it back to the stand.  
“So, April, did you see anything you like?”  
“No, not really. Did you?”  
“Me neither, although I would like to take a closer look at the street musicians.”  
“That sounds good. Okay, let's go.”  
It is a band of a few woodwinds, a double bass and two singers. Some of the songs they play are very well-known classics, but I also recognize a few folk songs that only few people know. I drop a coin in the hat in front of them and earn a smile from one of the singers.  
“They're good. I love it when it's not completely silent at markets like this one.”  
“Yes, it makes the atmosphere much better.”  
“But, honestly... I won't lie, it's getting kinda cold. I'm not trying to pressure you, but could we maybe leave now? There's plenty of other things we can do.”  
“Very well. Let us get back to the train station now.”  
I take her by the hand and walk to the station with her. We have to wait for another fifteen minutes until the train arrives, but we keep each other company and holding her keeps her sufficiently warm. It is a shame that we only stayed at the market for such a short time, but there was not much to see and it was indeed cold as April said. We should spend the rest of the day indoors. Once we are in the train, she puts her head on my shoulder and snuggles up to me.  
“Where do you want to go, April? I would prefer if we stayed indoors.”  
“I don't know... I could call Jimmy and Ari and ask if they're already at home. If they're outside, we could go to my place.”  
“No, I believe that is not a good idea. I would not want to run across them if they return early, by chance.”  
“That's true, but what else could we do until this evening?”  
“April, I truly feel bad for this, but I do not want you to come to me either. Should we perhaps part ways for now and reunite this evening at the love hotel?”  
“Okay... I mean, it's a shame, really, but you're right. Can you pick me up, maybe? I don't know where to go.”  
“Of course. Shall I knock on your door at eight pm?”  
“Okay. Then I'll get off at the next stop so I can get home better.”  
She lets go of me and stands up.  
“I'll see you then, Kiyo. I'm looking forward to it.”  
The train stops and I follow my lover with my eyes while she exits. A few stops later, I get off as well and walk home. I could talk to Sister before leaving again.


	16. XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo speaks to his sister, who slowly starts to doubt him, and prepares for his date in a love hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual tools such as rope are mentioned and described, but again, it's not smut. If there is any word or expression that you don't know, please don't look it up.

“Good day, Sister.”  
“Good day, my love. Do you have anything to report?”  
“No, not yet.”  
“Korekiyo... you know I trust you blindly, but is that really the truth? You were good friends, as it seems, and you slept together, and after that, you simply stop contacting her? That does not seem like you, and I know you promised to hurry to bring her to me.”  
I have already made up an excuse in case she asks this long ago.  
“It is a little strange talking to her after what happened between us. We are not lovers, of course, so there is an uncomfortable tension between us that makes me not want to talk to her anymore. Shall I arrange a meeting?”  
“Yes, you shall. Please do not keep me waiting much longer.”  
“I am trying, Sister. I do not wish to make you upset and you know it. Sometimes, it is simply difficult for me to be as quick as you need me to be.”  
“I understand you. Being but a spirit is hard for me, I can never tell what is happening unless it happens here in this room. I wish there was a way for me to be with you more often.”  
“I truly wish so as well, dear, but you promised me not to abuse my trust by possessing me.”  
“I do not plan to, please believe me.”  
I reach out towards her shoulder.  
“Of course, Sister. Excuse me, I am not feeling well. Could we perhaps cut today's session short?”  
“If that would make you feel better, of course. Goodbye, until tomorrow, then. I love you.”  
“I love you too.”  
I blow out the candle. The weight of lying to her is even heavier this time, and even worse, I will not be able to keep this circle of lies up for long. I do not want to kill April, but losing Sister would be just as bad. I do not know what to do.  
I leave the room and see my phone vibrating on the table. April has written me a message.

"I'm taking a pill so you don't have to bring any protection.  
This is really weird to write"

"I will bring something nonetheless, just in case. Usually, such hotels provide the visitors with such things for free anyways."

"Do you go to a lot of love hotels?"

"I have been to a few, but it is not a routine. It is definitely an experience, I am certain you will like it."

"I will if it's with you."

"I will do my best to make it an enjoyable night for you. The prices differ from hourly to overnight stays, by the way. I would like to stay overnight."

"Definitely same here! Please let me pay this one for once."

"I am the one to take you out, darling, but if you insist. The prices are comparably low to other love hotels, after all." 

"How much will it be? I prefer paying in cash."

"I am not completely certain, but I can send you the hotel's website so you can check yourself."

"Okay"

I send her the link to the hotel's website and turn off my phone. There is nothing left to do for me anymore, so all I can do is kill the time and prepare for the date. I take a shower and wash my hair, although I have done so just this morning. There is no need for me to think about what to wear, so I just pick whatever out of my closet and leave it for later. While rummaging through the closet, I find all of the ropes that are still hidden from when she first came here. I should take one with me this evening, since there are no tools such as this in the hotel. I take them all out of the closet and carefully think about which one I should choose. My favorite red, elastic one is a must, but perhaps there are even more choices. One for full-body bondage would be good, I would like to see how the Matanawa would look on her, how it would show off the beauty of her female features. It would have to be a very long rope for that, but the longest I have would not be suitable for such techniques as far as materials are concerned. I do not wish to hurt her too badly, I have a feeling that she would not like it, so it should be a little soft and perhaps a little elastic as well so it can be adjusted minimally. I take a few ropes and decide to leave the choice up to her. A few toys would be good as well, but nothing that could hurt her, so I leave the whips be.  
I pack the rest of my tools back into the closet. I need to wait for a while before I can pick April up, so I spend the leftover time doing homework. One of the essays on the renaissance is still due, and I am almost done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know you looked it up sinner. congrats, now you know what matanawa is.


	17. XVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is the night in the love hotel, but any sexual content is just as thoroughly described as it was before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains nudity, tying, discussing bondage, incest and folklore.  
> I can't sum this chapter up, but you'll see for yourself.

I ring her doorbell and wait for her to come out, and a few seconds later, she does. I wave at her when she comes out of the elevator towards the door.  
“Kiyo! Ah, I'm so glad to see you.”  
She throws herself into my arms and I hug her tightly.  
“Jimmy and Ari were terrorizing the entire neighborhood. I've been hoping you'd come soon.”  
I try to let go, but she keeps holding on to my coat.  
“Is something wrong, April?”  
“No, it's okay. I'm just really, really scared that they'll break the apartment up.”  
“I wish I could promise you that you could live with me for a while. I am truly unspeakably sorry.”  
“It's fine. It's a little much to ask for anyways. I'm just... so scared.”  
I softly drag her over to the next bench and sit down with her. I feel her shoulders shaking slightly and kiss her hair through my mask a few times to calm her down.  
“Shh... cry it out. You've taught me how necessary it is to let it out.”  
She sobs a little and squeezes me tighter. I caress her carefully to calm her down, and this keeps going for a while until she does.  
“There you are, April.”  
She sobs a few more times and wipes the tears from her cheeks. I help her kiss them off after I remove my mask.   
“Are you feeling better? Please rest for as long as you want if you need to.”  
“No, it's fine. I'm fine. I just needed to relieve some stress.”  
She releases her hug and stands up.  
“Sorry about that. Can we go now?”  
“But of course. Come follow me, it is shorter if we walk instead of taking a train.”  
“Okay!”  
I take her hand and guide her through the city, we walk through the snow about twenty minutes before we arrive at the love hotel. I can feel by the way she suddenly grips my hand tighter that the view of it intimidates her and makes her nervous, so I console her before we enter.  
“There is no need to be nervous. It will be no different than usual, I will do my best to make it even better for you.”  
She gulps.  
“Alright. Then let's go in.”  
I pull her hand softly and we enter the building. The lobby is small, there is only the counter to begin with. No guests are there except for us, which makes it a lot less embarrassing. We walk over to the counter and April quickly pays so the person behind the privacy protection can hand us the keys to our room for the night. Her face is cherry red the entire time.  
“207 it is. You need not worry about anything, I promise.”  
She only nods to this. Her emotions are so beautiful. I put an arm around her shoulder and keep holding her while we make our way to our assigned room. She unlocks the door and I push her in before me softly. Upon locking the door, her embarrassment seems to fade a little and she looks around curiously. I do the same. The room is no suite, I have been to one of the more exclusive ones and these actually had several sexual tools, but this one is simple and only has what is needed. A big bed right in the center of the room, a fireplace with a glass pane beside it, two bedside tables at each side of the bed with condoms and lotion on them, and a second room with a shower, a bathtub and a toilet and sink. The light is dimmed and makes the room seem warmer than it already is. I calmly walk over to the bed and place my bag next to it before sitting down on the soft sheets. April nervously sits down beside me. I take her into my arms and look right into her blushing face.  
“Would you like me to help you get prepared?”  
She nods, and I lean forward to give her an extremely gentle and careful kiss, letting her deepen it on her own whenever she wants. For a short while, we simply sit there uncomfortably, lips pressed up against each other, but then she gathers courage and wraps her arms around my neck. I part my lips a little and she does the same so we can kiss with a little more passion. I massage her lips slowly using my own, and she uses the opportunity to slip her tongue into my mouth. I take the initiative and push her over onto her back, careful not to go too fast or hurt her, never leaving her lips. She pulls me closer on top of her and wraps her legs around me. I let my hands slide to her chest and lift myself off of her enough for me to unbutton her blouse. She seems comfortable enough, so I continue and kiss her neck while caressing her skin. Soft whimpers escape her mouth as I move further down and keep stripping her clothing off until she is fully nude. I stand up from the bed and retrieve my bag from the floor.  
“Are you feeling better, my dear?”  
“Y-yeah... keep going...”  
I look deep into her eyes.  
“Would you mind if I tied you up?”  
“What? Um- I don't know, I've never done that before...”  
“Do not worry, it will not be painful. I will not hurt you in any way, and the restraints will not be too tight either. I assure you that I know what I am doing, and I know that it will amplify your pleasure without making it painful.”  
“Uhh...”  
“Please, give it a chance. If there is anything you do not like about it, tell me and I will untie you immediately. I promise you that I will not hurt you.”  
“Mmh... okay. You know I trust you, Kiyo. Please don't use that to your advantage.”  
“No, of course not. I love you, do I not?”  
I pull a long rope out of my bag. Her eyes grow wide as I unwind it.  
“Please try to calm down. I will only tie you up, I do not plan on toying with you.”  
She takes a deep breath. I lie the rope down on the bed for a second to position her correctly, then I take it again and begin tying the bondage. I do not want this to be uncomfortable, so I try to keep her spirits up by talking to her and telling her stories.  
“Thank you for trusting me on this. I have told you my story about being tied up and tortured in a village, yes? Ever since, I have found a lot of uses for ropes in several areas of anthropology, so I have grown a very strong interest in them. Especially in Japanese culture, ropes find a lot of different uses, however most of them are sexual, as you might imagine. There are two different sorts of rope bondage, one might say: Shibari and Kinbaku. Do you know what the difference is?”  
She is blushing like crazy while I keep tying her up. By now, I have reached her breasts and watch in fascination how beautifully they are squeezed by the rope.  
“N-no...”  
“Allow me to explain, then. It has been debated whether there is a difference at all, but from what I have seen, the core difference is what the different techniques focus on. Shibari focuses much more on aesthetic tying and rope patterns while Kinbaku is the art of the sexual act with the submissive tied up in elaborate patterns... although there is the term Kinbaku-Bi, which translates to “the beauty of tight binding”. So, to sum it up, Shibari is often not even considered an erotic art, but simply an aesthetic art of tying patterns that show off the beauty of mostly female bodies. Kinbaku includes the sexual experience, so one could say what I am doing to you right now is a mixture of both. While I have chosen this tie specifically to squeeze you a little, I do plan on giving it. I will not make it painful, though, so you need not be afraid.”  
She looks a lot less nervous now, and I make the last few knots to finish my work. I stand up from the bed and look at her thoroughly.  
“My goodness, April, you look absolutely... enchanting. Forgive me for asking this, but... would you mind if I took a picture of you?”  
“Um... I don't know, not really...”  
“Very well. I apologize for asking this.”  
“Oh, no... I mean, okay, technically I'd let you, but why?”  
“I have practiced this tie on multiple people, but I have never seen it look half as good as it does on you. I promise you that I will not let anybody else see it if you let me.”  
“Mmh... alright.”  
“Thank you for your trust. I promise you that it is only for my private research use.”  
I take my phone out from her pocket and take a picture, but I wait a while, amused by how red and hot her face is from embarrassment. I make sure to get a good picture and put my phone back into my bag, then I move closer to her on the bed and kiss her again.  
“Please lay down now. You should see on your own what position is most comfortable for you.”  
She gets on her back and shuffles around for a second. Once she seems comfortable, I start taking my own clothing off, slowly and seductively while moving my body towards her. She watches as if she was in a trance, her face still blushing bright red. I throw all of my clothing over my shoulder carelessly and stalk towards the bed, savoring the expressions on her beautiful face. I almost do not want to touch her, as if it would take her beauty away. But her eyes are begging, her body is shaking slightly, she must be getting impatient.  
“Do you wish for me to begin?”  
She nods vigorously and I lean over her to lick her neck again.

-

Untying the Matanawa is always easier than tying it, so it does not take me long to do. She sighs again, and once she is untied, she shakes her hands a little to relax them. Some of the skin is still a little marked up from the rope, but the grooves are not deep and will most likely fade after a few days. April sighs and falls back into the sheets, I follow and we embrace each other.  
“Did I keep my promise?”  
“Yeah, absolutely. I actually really didn't want it at first, but I wanted to please you. Now I'm glad that I consented, that was definitely the best sex I've had all my life.”  
“I am happy that you liked it. I will gladly show you some more tying methods sometime.”  
“I won't pass on that. I mean, please don't do the painful stuff with me, I'm not a masochist, but that was really good, so I wouldn't mind something similar at all.”  
“It will be my pleasure to introduce you to the custom of ropes. There are a lot of tales I can tell you about them as well. Kehehe... someday you will fall in love with the pain as well.”  
“Mmh, I don't know about that. If I do try some of the hardcore stuff someday, I want it to be with you, though.”  
“There is a lot of things you have not tried yet, a lot of sensations you have not felt.”  
I roll over and let her rest her head on my chest.  
“Yeah... all of those sex toys as well. I'm kinda scared of some of them.”  
“Kehehe, funny that you mention it now. I have brought some toys here, in fact.”  
“Oh... really?”  
“Would you like me to show them to you? They are all in my bag. As it was with tying, there is nothing that could hurt you, it only helps amplify the pleasure.”  
“Oh, Kiyo, I don't know what kind of sex god you are, but I'm just really tired right now. I wanna rest a little, maybe later in, like... ten minutes we can do it again.”  
“Very well, then simply rest a little until you are no longer tired. It will take me a while to prepare myself to keep going as well, so we should simply relax for now. Would you like me to tell you a story, perhaps?”  
“Yeah, sure! Can you tell me another love story?”  
“Of course. One of my personal favorites is the tale of Izanagi and Izanami, or one might say the origin of the entire Japanese creation myth. In the beginning, the earth, all the world was an endless darkness, they say, and it could be describes as a sort of primeval ocean. And suddenly, there was light, and this ocean divided into heaven – yang – and earth, yin. From this light, there came six generations of gods that we know very little about, only the seventh generation is thoroughly defined. This seventh generation are the two siblings Izanagi no Mikoto and Izanami no Mikoto. Together, they walk across the floating bridge ame-no-uki-hashi, until Izanami grows curious what secrets this ocean hides, and as Izanagi thrusts into it with the divine spear ame-no-nuhoko, a drip of salt falls from its tip and creates the solid island Onogoro. On this island, the two siblings build a temple, where they execute the ritual of marriage. If done correctly, this ritual brings them many children, but because Izanami speaks during it at first, the crippled child Hiruko is born. Later, however, the ritual succeeds and they bear healthy children. One of them is the god of fire Kagutsuchi no Kami, which burns his mother so severely that she dies upon giving birth to him. After cutting his son in half, creating even more gods from the pieces, he goes to the nether Yomi to look for his beloved sister, and he finds her. Although she warns him not to look at her, he uses his comb to make a torch, and he sees that her body has been almost fully eaten by worms and several thunder gods reside inside of her. He runs away out of terror and gets chased by her, who has become a demon herself, and can only escape by blocking the entrance to Yomi. Izanagi retires in heaven, and the sun goddess Amaterasu takes control as head of the gods. Each day, he promises to himself, another 1000 maternity hospitals shall be built, while his sister in the nether swears to pull 1000 humans into the Yomi each day.”  
“And that's how it ends? This entire story is a little fucked up.”  
“But it is beautiful, is it not? A perfect example of a love that goes beyond death.”  
“And we're just ignoring the fact that they're siblings?”  
“It was perfectly normal in the time this creation myth was written. A lot of other theories about how the world, or at least humanity was created base around two siblings making life possible with nothing but their love. It fascinates me, I must say, how the view on incest has changed so drastically over the many years of cultural evolution. For a long time, it was a virtue, then there were the first few laws against it in some parts of the world, and as of now, it is an unspeakable, unforgivable crime, although it is treated unsuitably lightly in some manga or games, for example.”  
“Yeah, I guess so...”  
I do not want her to talk about this any further, so I cut the conversation short.  
“So then, would you like to continue?”  
A little surprised at first, she nods and pulls me close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, there will be worse chapters. This isn't as bad as it gets. Sorry.


	18. XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night in a love hotel, Korekiyo and April go to the cinema, but end their date earlier than planned.

We walk through the hallways of the love hotel hand in hand, smiling, chatting and laughing. In the end, it turned out as a pleasurable night for both of us, and not only because of the physical pleasure of our bodies, but also because of the heavenly togetherness we had in this room. Sister will never know about this, and I will keep it a secret the best I can. We meet some other couples coming out of the rooms with blushing faces, but we ignore them as if there was only us, us and nobody else. I wish these hallways were infinitely long, but we arrive in the lobby after a while. April returns the keys to the person behind the privacy protection and we exit the hotel.  
“Aah... I never would've expected this to be so good. I wanna go to a hotel with you again sometime, okay?”  
“With pleasure”, I chuckle and press my mask to her cheek. The snow has molten a little by now, but it is still cold outside and we have to walk closer to keep each other warm enough.  
“So, what else do we do today? If you have the time to spend it with me, that is.”  
“Ummm.... to be honest, I'd love to spend the day with you because of Jimmy and Ari. They're still not through with their fight, and I just don't wanna make things worse. We could go see a movie or something like that.”  
“A good suggestion. Would you happen to know what movies are being aired today?”  
“No, but we can always check that online. Let's go sit down on that bench and I'll look it up.”  
We take a seat and she pulls out her phone, scrolling through it for a few minutes. I do not look over her shoulder so she does not feel pressured.  
“Alright... what kind of movies do you like the most?”  
“I am quite fond of horror, actually.”  
“Oh, really? I don't watch many horror movies, but if you want to, we could watch one together.”  
“Not if you are sensitive to it.”  
“No, I'm not, I just don't watch a lot of them. I don't watch many movies in general.”  
“Then would you let me see the options we have?”  
She hands her phone to me, and I scan over the choices.   
“This one, perhaps? I have read about it in a magazine, it is rumored to be very good.”  
“Okay, sure. I'll book some tickets. Last row?”  
“Kehehe. Why not?”  
She grins and kisses my cheek.  
“Alright, I booked it for one pm, so we have an hour left. Do you wanna have breakfast in a cafe or something in the meantime?”  
“That sounds nice. Shall we go to our standard cafe for that?”  
“Okay, let's go.”

-

One and a half hours later, we are sitting in the cinema. The movie disappoints me a little, it seems to be a typical slasher that focuses on gore and death more than story and character development. April keeps me busy with ambitious kisses, though, and although it feels strange to do this while screams and splattering sounds come out of the speakers, I return them just as passionately. After a while, I pull away again since I want to focus on the movie a little. She leans against my shoulder over the armrest of her seat and looks at the screen as well, taking a bite of our shared popcorn every now and then. I lean back in my seat and try to find any links to anthropology in the events, as it often is in horror movies, but the movie simply seems to create its own world. I find absolutely no pleasure in watching this, so I excuse myself to the bathroom and simply walk around the cinema for a while to kill the time. Fifteen minutes later, I come back and sit down in my seat again. April leans closer to my ear.  
“Were you in the bathroom for that long? Is everything alright?”  
“I walked around for a little while. I must admit that this movie falls short on my expectations, so I wanted to kill a little bit of time.”  
“Do you wanna leave already? The movie's not that much my thing either.”  
“Yes, I would like that. A shame, I apologize for recommending this one to you.”  
“No, no, don't apologize! You couldn't have known.”  
I start packing my bag and putting my coat back on, she helps me and does the same. We exit the hall as quietly as possible and only keep talking once we are outside.  
“We would have been better off with another film. I am truly sorry, this was but a waste of time.”  
“You don't have to be. There's a lot of other things that could've gone wrong.”  
“Speaking of... I am not feeling too well, so I would prefer going home already now. I apologize for feeding you to the lions like this , but I should leave you alone now.”  
“Oh... that's a shame, but okay. Can I walk you home?”  
“I will take a train, it would slow me down if I walked home. It will only waste your own time if you join me, so I believe it would be best for us to part ways for now.”  
“Okay... then I hope you feel better soon. Text me if you need anything.”  
“Thank you.”  
I remove my mask and give her a kiss on the cheek, and she hugs me for a few seconds before letting go and smiling at me to say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be on holiday for about ten days, so it's going to be a little hiatus. I'm gonna keep writing, but not posting, so after I'm back, you can expect a gush of new chapters afterwards.


	19. XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo speaks to his sister once more, but it doesn't help ease his confusion and he tries to distract himself using alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains alcohol and vomit. Take care.

I am indeed not feeling well, otherwise I would have loved to spend the rest of the day with April as well, but I need to contact Sister again and after, I will simply sleep a little. Our escapades in the love hotel kept me up all night, and although we took a lot of ten-minute-breaks, I did not sleep for one second and now it has me dead tired. It almost causes me to make a mistake in the salt circle that I am so used to, but I notice it before it is too late and the séance works perfectly.  
“Good afternoon, Korekiyo. I see you have not slept here tonight either. Why would that be?”  
“I stayed up. There were a lot of things I needed to do, and I felt like I would lose motivation if I stopped working at any second, so I kept going all night, which is why I would like to rest after this session.”  
“Yes, I can see it in your eyes. Korekiyo, I am proud of you for working so hard, but you must spare yourself at times and never push yourself beyond your limits, otherwise it will get even worse. When will your next exam be?”  
“In a few days, it is what I studied for all night. I got done with everything I needed to do and now I just want to sleep. Could we cut this short?”  
Her face expresses pure sorrow and concern as she pets my shoulder.  
“My goodness, are you certain that you are alright? You look as good as dead. Not to offend you, but you could be ill.”  
“No, I am fine. I am simply dead tired.”  
“If you say so... well, then please stop this séance already so you can get some rest. I will hear from you tomorrow, then.”  
“Thank you for understanding, my beloved Sister. Goodbye for now.”  
I blow out the candle, but I do not clean anything up and simply go to bed already with the lights still off. It is good that Sister did not ask about April, every lie I have to tell her hurts my soul anew. Why is this so difficult? I cannot find any preference either, the two are equally wonderful. If I had not killed 71 girls for Sister's sake already, I would focus on the currently living and enjoy my life together with her, but what I have done is irreversible and I could not simply stop this streak. If only I had never fallen for April, she would be dead already and everything would be perfect, but nobody can control whom they fall in love with, and now it is simply too late.  
My dreams during this nap are all over the place and I do not sleep very well, but it is better than no sleep at all, so I stay in bed hoping I fall asleep again. At one point, I get up and go into the kitchen to make myself something to drink, and I find the still unopened bottle of wine. Out of pure frustration, I pour myself a glass and take a sip. It is way too bitter and it feels like my throat is burning, but I flush it down with another. This one is even worse, it activates my gag reflexes and I have to bend over clutching my stomach. I take a few deep breaths and another sip, but I immediately cough it up again and it splatters the table and my clothing red. Tears are falling from my eyes as I lift the glass to my lips again. Never have I tasted anything this disgusting, but what choice do I have? One more sip flows down my throat, but it almost comes up again. My alcohol tolerance is not high enough for me to handle this little bit, but it is what I want so I can finally sleep again. With the next sip, I cry out at how badly it burns and slouch over to the kitchen sink. Any moment now, I think as I drink more of the wine as if it was supposed to motivate me. I choke and cough again, this is complete torture, but I keep going. A few sips later, it is finally too much for me and I cramp up as I vomit, every little sip of wine escaping my stomach and splashing into the sink with a disgusting noise. I cough and cough and vomit again, a little less this time. The sour taste and smell get to my head and I simply empty myself once more, it could not get any worse in the first place. I quickly take a few sips of water and spit them out again to get rid of the taste of digested alcohol in my throat, then I wash the sink thoroughly and disinfect it to make the smell disappear as well, then I put my glass in the dishwasher and take the bottle into my hand. I look at it for a while, completely disappointed in myself for doing this, and throw it onto the floor without any dignity or self-control. The sound of glass shattering is what cues me to break down, legs shaking. I do not pass out immediately, but simply lay there with burning pain in several areas of my body. So this is what being intensely drunk feels like, I think to myself. This is definitely the worst decision I have ever made. Sister will hate me for this. The puddle of wine has reached my body by now and I feel it seeping through my shirt sleeve, but the pain and fatigue are too strong for me to move an inch. I close my eyes, all I can do is wait for the pain to fade, and then I finally lose consciousness.


	20. XIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day at university, Korekiyo shows up completely hungover. When one of his classmates points it out, he causes him to break down.

I arrive in the lecture room the next morning, barely on time and with clearly visible dark eye bags, despite all of the effort I put into covering it up with makeup and coffee. The last few seat rows turn their heads to me, and one of my friends stands up to greet me.  
“What the fuck happened to you, Kiyo? Did you get hit by a bus or something?”  
“No, I am simply a little... tired, one might say.”  
“Wait, are you hungover? You look like you drank an entire bottle of pure alcohol.”  
“I drank an entire glass of wine, but that was perfectly sufficient to make me pass out.”  
“Our perfect model student Kiyo is turning into a drinker! We're gonna have to throw you a party for that.”  
He says it loud enough for the entire room to hear, and now all eyes are on the two of us. I hear giggling and whispering from a few groups of people.  
“Spare the effort. This is the last time something like this will happen.”  
“Oh really? Why did you do that in the first place?”   
After a short while of contemplating what I should say, I mumble “lovesickness” and walk across the room to take a seat in the first row, but he chases after me and sits down next to me.  
“Whoa, you do have a life outside of uni! We need to know everything about this.”  
“Please leave me alone. What you are doing right now is anything but friendly. Besides, you do realize you will have to keep sitting here if the professor arrives now?”  
“Don't be such a dick! We've all been there.”  
“Do you wish for me to tear out your nerves? Leave me in peace now!”  
“Dude, all I ask for is for you to tell me what happened!”  
Right then, the professor walks in and wishes everyone a good morning. He looks at me for a little longer than usual as well, I must be a complete wreck. My friend leans closer and whispers:  
“Now you're stuck with me.”  
I sigh and bury my face in my hands. He certainly will not give me a second of silence if I do not tell him what I did and what led to it, so I will have to make up lies again.  
“Alright, Kiyo. What happened?”  
“To express it in a short summary: I drank a glass of wine, vomited thrice, threw the bottle on the floor and broke down right into the shards.”  
“What the fuck? Dude, you're, like, the embodiment of a perfect student, nobody here would've ever expected you to do shit like that.”  
“I know, I never would have expected it either. Rest assured that this will never happen again.”  
“That's what they all say. Kiyo, don't go further down that road or you'll end up like one of us. And what was that lovesickness about? You never told me you had a girlfriend.”  
“I fell in love with someone I was not meant to fall in love with.”  
“What, your sister?”  
This is too much for me. He has crossed a clear line. My voice raises itself automatically.  
“Watch your filthy little tongue before I tear it from your mouth and shove it down your throat. There are lines you really should not cross, and this was one of them. I will not tolerate your idiotic behavior for much longer.”  
“Shinguji!”  
The professor's strict voice makes me perk my head up. I will definitely get in serious trouble for this. The anger is already multiplying inside of me.  
“My apologies.”  
“Why are you threatening him so cruelly?”  
The giggling and whispering is growing louder.  
“I am in a miserable mood right now. I apologize deeply.”  
“Do I need to dismiss you?”  
I do not lower my head, I refuse to admit that this is embarrassing me. I have nothing to say, what does he even expect me to do now?   
“Please leave the class for now. Speak to me later when the lecture is over.”  
“I understand. I am sorry for disturbing.”  
I immediately stand up and leave the room. My entire body is burning with anger at who I thought was my friend. This is definitely not my lucky day.  
Until the lecture is over, there is about two hours left, so I quickly take the train home again. I have a plan on how I could end all of this drama revolving around my two lovers, and I need Sister's help for it, so I spontaneously decide to contact her now. The circle I made yesterday is still there on the floor, so all that is left for me to do is light the candle and sing the chant.  
“Korekiyo, what is the matter? Why are you not in university? And why did you not sleep in your bed yesterday again either?”  
“That is all one big story that I will tell you later, but there is something I need to do with your help. Actually, I do not have enough time to say this now either. I apologize for rushing this, but I am feeling stressed.”  
“Korekiyo, it is important that you keep track of your health, both mental and physical.”  
“Currently, I am not doing well as far as mental health is concerned, which is why I need you to help me. This afternoon, I will speak to you again and give you the details of my plan.”  
“Hearing this worries me, my darling. Is there anything I can do for you right now?”  
I smile at my beautiful sister.  
“No, I am afraid not, but thank you for asking. Only talking to you has motivated me a little.”  
“That is good. Do not hesitate to speak to me if you are feeling down.”  
I try to kiss her forehead, but it almost makes me fall forward.  
“Thank you, Sister. I shall take my leave now, so goodbye.”  
“Goodbye, my dear. Please keep yourself safe.”  
I blow out the candle and switch the lights on to check the clock. I only have little time left, so I leave the circle on the floor and leave the house as quickly as possible. On the train, I pull my phone out and text April as I need to meet up with her in order to execute my plan.

“I apologize for texting you this so suddenly and in the middle of the day, but when would be your next opportunity to go on a date with me? I want to see you. There is something we should talk about. Please text me whenever you know.”

Of course, she does not text back, she should be in art school at the moment, but perhaps she has a free period she can use to text me back. I will not contact Sister until I have received an answer. Thinking about this so much almost makes me miss my stop. I get off the train and walk to the lecture room again, where I still hear voices inside, so I wait in front of the door.   
Several minutes later, the door opens and the students come out, talking and laughing. Nobody pays me any mind, but I can feel their silent judgment and it makes me sick. Once all students are out of the room, the professor follows and looks around for a while until he finds me.  
“Shinguji, there you are. Please come inside.”  
The door is opened for me and I enter the room, pulling two chairs from the last row for him and me to sit down on. I keep my posture perfect, I do not want him to feel bad about making me uncomfortable.  
“Alright, so... this was very unexpected of you. You are every professor's favorite student, you haven't had a single C in this university and your behavior was always flawless, so this came as a very big shock to me. Would you please explain what caused you to escalate so badly?”  
“This is a private matter, but I will not lie to you. I was incredibly lovesick and unable to sleep last night, so I drank a glass of wine. I drink very rarely and my tolerance is very low, so this little bit of alcohol was enough to make me vomit thrice and lose consciousness. The one I was so upset at called me out on looking hungover and refused to leave me alone until I told him what had happened. He made a comment about me being in love with my sister, and that made me so mad that I mindlessly threatened him. When it comes to my sister, I am very sensitive as she passed away a few years ago.”  
“Oh, I'm sorry about that.”  
“I am sorry, too, for lashing out at him like this. I did not get the chance to apologize, but I will when I meet him again.”  
The professor sighs heavily and closes his eyes.  
“Okay... I get why you would do that, but it's still something unacceptable. I'll let you off the hook this time, but don't let me catch you doing that again. Death threats are a really serious matter and you should not take them that lightly, but I'm sure you know that already.”  
“I do know.”  
“Alright, then all I have to ask of you is to keep your composure next time and maybe inform one of the professors instead of going all out like that yourself.”  
“I will. My deepest apologies for causing such trouble.”  
We shake hands and I put the chairs back where they were, then I quickly hurry on to the next lecture. I have ten minutes in between them, but I do not want to be late, it would make an even worse impression on my schoolmates.


	21. XX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo has a plan to solve the problem, so he consults both his lovers about it.

Growing impatient slowly, I tap the screen of my phone faster as if it would make April's message appear magically. I have tried calling her multiple times, but it appears she has muted it during school. My day today was a lot shorter than usual, but it is five pm as of now, she should be out already as well. I could check on her, but I have no idea where exactly she could be, so it would be pointless. I make myself another coffee. It is terrible how much my drug consumption has increased with all of this stress tearing at my spirit and pulling me down. It is like I am terrified of being alone as I am only comfortable and happy while talking to either Sister or April.  
I dial her number again and hope for anything else but the beeping, but nobody picks up. Something could have happened to her, but I could not know. Before I know, my coffee cup is empty again, but I resist my urge to make another one and simply pour myself a glass of water instead. While I am standing at the fridge, I take an apple out to eat as well. I take my phone into the bedroom so I can wait for her call while potentially telling Sister some things.  
“Sister, you will not be able to hear me completely, but I still want to feel some sort of company, so I came here instead of waiting in the living room. I am about to announce some very, very bad news to you when we communicate, but I beg of you, please do not leave me. Let me finish my sentences and we will settle everything. Always remember that I love you, otherwise I would not tell you this. No matter what happens, no matter how angry you will be at me for saying this, I love you more than words can express, and I always will.”  
I close my eyes and I can feel some sort of presence flowing through my veins.  
“Are you here now, Sister? I can feel you. It feels nice, please stay.”  
One of my hands makes its way around my waist and the other around my torso to my shoulder, hugging myself, but I can clearly sense her inside of me. She is the one I want to hug.  
The perfect way to ruin a moment such as this is a ringing telephone. I release my grip on myself and grab my phone next to me, Sister seems to slip out of me somehow during this.  
“April?”  
“Hi, Kiyo! I'm so so so so sorry that I didn't pick up or text back earlier, things were kinda stressful for me and they still are. It's happened, Jimmy and Ari broke up. I'm really lost right now and I don't know what to do, so I don't think going on any dates is a good idea at the moment. I'm really sorry about this, but I just can't help it.”  
“I am sorry to hear that, but are you certain that a date every now and then is exactly what you need? You could use a little distraction if the situation is making you stressed. I will gladly organize everything for you, so you will not need to do anything but come along and enjoy yourself.”  
“Kiyo, that's nice, but there's just a lot of things going on right now. I'm only stressed because I'm busy all the time, there's just not any room for dates. I'm sorry.”  
“Can you at least tell me when you'll be a little less stressed? During the weekends, perhaps?”  
“Yeah, during the weekends would be the best time, if anything, but Sunday would be better than Saturday, so we wouldn't be able to do anything overnight.”  
“I do not mind, I want to see you. What time would be best for you?”  
“Oh, I don't know. Three pm?”  
“That is perfect. I am looking forward to it. Allow me to organize everything, I will simply pick you up at your place and take you somewhere. I only want you to enjoy our date.”  
“Thanks, Kiyo. You're relieving a lot of stress with this.”  
“I am? Good, that is exactly what I wanted to do. There is something I must attend to now, but I am already looking forward to Sunday.”  
“Bye then, Kiyo! I love you!”  
Luckily, she hangs up after this so I do not have to respond while Sister is listening. I plan to confess to her, but not indirectly. I get started with the séance right away.  
“So, Sister, have you heard what I said to you earlier?”  
“Partly, yes. Something about bad news and love, but could you please repeat it?”  
“I am about to announce some very bad news to you, but no matter how angry, sad or emotional it might make you, I want you to remember that I love you. Let me finish my sentences before you settle your judgment and we will come to a peaceful solution together.”  
“I understand, Korekiyo.”  
“Very well, then I shall tell you now.”  
Before I do, I take another deep breath.  
“I have not been very truthful to you over the last few weeks. I know you have been suspecting that April and I are in a relationship, and that is what I have been lying about. It is true, I am in love with her.”  
She sucks the air in through her teeth, but says nothing.  
“I am deeply sorry for being untruthful and unfaithful, but as I said, I love you and that has not changed one bit. I was deeply conflicted with myself on what I should do, the guilt of constantly lying to you was a heavy weight, but I wanted to lose neither of you. I really did not think it would be possible, but I am deeply in love with two women at the same time.”  
She looks down a the parquet floor. Her expression is not angry at all, only sad as if she had lost a beloved toy from her childhood.  
“I have been dating her behind your back ever since the night we slept together. I felt bad the entire time, but I refused to let her go. The night I told you I stayed up studying... I spent it in a love hotel with her. It was yesterday evening, after we talked, that this stress from being forced to decide whom to love got ahead of me and I got desperate. I drank an entire glass of wine and lost consciousness on the living room floor in between all of the shards, one of them buried itself in my arm. Today, I lashed out at one of my friends after he commented rudely on my hungover appearance and asked me if I had fallen for my sister. For this, I was sent home for the rest of the lecture, and that was when I spoke to you first. My plan is to kill April, and that is what I need your help for.”  
I never expected her to respond to this, and she does not.  
“My beloved Sister, I know what I said and what I did was anything but good for you, but I love you with all my heart and that will never change. I would not have told you this if I did not. I am deeply sorry for all of this mess, but I want to get out of it with you. No matter what happens... you will always be my final choice.”  
She lifts her hand to block my view of her face because she does not want me to see her cry.  
“Please do not cry. I admit that what I have done to you is terrible, and you have all reason to hate me for it, but even if you left me, I would keep loving you with this aching little heart of mine. I wish to make it up to you by finally bringing you your next friend, which will separate me from her as well. So, please offer me your support. We will do this together.”  
She is still crying, now audibly, so I stay silent and let her cry it out. All the support I can try to give her is my hand somewhere on her shoulder or running through her hair.  
“Korekiyo, you are such a whore at times.”  
“I am so dreadfully sorry.”  
“Sometimes I truly wonder why I am in love with you again. I would be better off hating you.”  
I look at her with genuine sadness and grief and let her shame me without protesting. She is right.  
“I knew it would come to this, yet I trusted you. What an idiot I was.”  
“You are not the one at fault, Sister. I betrayed you completely, but I did not do so without regret. I tried to make every single kiss seem like one I would share with you, and I had dreams about you every time I fell asleep with her. My love for you never faded one bit.”  
This is not the first time we speak like this: her insulting and shaming me after I have done something bad, and me simply staying silent or telling her I love her whenever I get the chance.  
“Neither did mine, unfortunately.”  
“That is not a bad thing, darling. Our love is all we need, correct? Let me prove it to you.”  
“Why can you not just kill her yourself? You are so weak, always asking me for help.”  
“It is something I want for you. I have not made the entire proposition yet.”  
“Then make it now.”  
“I need you to possess me so you can kill her yourself. The only way to apologize for what I have done is to let you make it up for yourself in any way you want. I will give you vague directions on what you should do and where, but how exactly you do it will be up to you. Once you give control over my body back to me, I will cover everything up.”  
“You want me to possess you? Korekiyo, you were always so afraid of that.”  
“I know, Sister! But I want you to know that I am ready to make this sacrifice because I love you. You can do anything you want, you can hurt me or touch me or... you can kill me if you want, I do not mind. I will offer myself as a vessel for you to vent your anger, both on me and April.”  
“I have nothing to say.”  
“Do you not want to move? Do you not want to feel all of these physical sensations again and have a shape and form? I will let you have my body for the entire day, and you can do whatever you want. I do not know much about possession, I have only read theories, but I believe my psyche will fade shortly and make way for yours. My spirit will simply not exist for a while until you give control back to me.”  
“Korekiyo, that is a very sweet offer, but are you certain that this is alright with you? You were absolutely terrified during our first few seances out of fear that I would possess you.”  
“I have done so many irreversible, terrible things. The only way to make up for them is to show you that I mean it when I apologize or say that I love you by making a sacrifice.”  
“You seem a little desperate to apologize.”  
“Which is because I am! Sister, I need your forgiveness, please. I will do anything.”  
She wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. It is good to see that she has calmed down a little.  
“Korekiyo, you know how helplessly I love you. Even if you had not spoken to me every day ever since I enforced these strict rules upon you... I do not think I would have been able to keep myself away from you. Sometimes, it would be better if you did not take my threats this seriously.”  
“I enjoyed speaking to you, although it felt terrible to lie. Please do this for me. Possess me for a day, and let me feel what you are thinking and vent your emotions. Most importantly, you should let your anger out. April's fate has been sealed, how it should be done is up to you.”  
A look in her eyes is sufficient to tell me that she is smiling on the inside.  
“I know you want to accept this offer, Sister. It is alright, I do not blame you. You have been stuck as a formless being for so long, you must be longing to have a physical form again.”  
“Korekiyo... that is truly sweet of you. Thank you very much. I will accept your offer and forgive you for what you have done, but do not let me catch you falling for somebody else after this. I expect you to be more truthful from now on. I might be foolish for this, but I shall trust you again.”  
My sister is truly wonderful, so wonderful that it makes me cry.  
“Thank you so much, Sister. So much. I will prepare everything for you and clean up after you. I will contact you Sunday at noon, then you can possess me, but perhaps I shall speak to you a few more times before that.”  
“I would like that. I love you, my sweet Korekiyo.”  
“I love you too.”


	22. XXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the plan fully set up, Korekiyo meets April one more time and takes her painting to the museum in her favor.

“Alright, Sister. I have made up a plan that will definitely work, and I need you to remember what I say now. I will write it down again for you just in case, but please try to keep what I say in mind already. I have arranged a date with April on Sunday at three pm, so I will contact you at noon so you have three hours to spend however you would like. You will pick her up at her apartment, I will give you a detailed map so you can find your way there. Then, I would like you to take her to a location where nobody can see what you are doing. I suggest an empty alleyway, I will be able to make it seem like she was attacked by a stray or somesuch. What kinds of weapons or tools you take is up to you, you know where they are. I would like to ask you to cover her in a tarp or something that would not make it obvious that there is a body underneath so it will take the police at least a little longer to find her, it will buy us time. Then, of course, you must wear gloves. You should leave the weapons at the crime scene, they will not be able to figure out where they came from as my fingerprints were never on them. I suggest you also take an extra bag of clothing so you need not walk home covered in blood. How you spend the rest of the day is up to you, but please give control back to me at six pm so I can prepare myself for university the next day. Thus, you have six hours in my body to spend however you like. Please do not betray me and stay inside of me, if you want to do something like this again, tell me about it and I will find a good time for it. Do you understand?”  
She smiles, and it makes me so happy to see.  
“Korekiyo, you have always been good at organizing. The plan you have made up is impressively foolproof, so I will gladly take part in it. I promise I will give your body back to you in time, and if there is anything I would like to ask of you, I will leave your body and ask you in a séance. You have proven yourself to be a very good partner. I am proud of you.”  
I close my eyes and let her words sink into my heart. It brings a small smile to my face.  
“Thank you, Sister. I shall write everything down for you again, so please be sure not to forget anything. April will follow you wherever you go, but do not make a predatory impression or she might sense something is wrong. Try to be as friendly as you can until you strike. I understand that you would want to yell at her immediately, but try to keep your composure.”  
“I understand, Korekiyo. I will.”  
“Then everything is settled. I will take a break from contacting you until Sunday, is that alright with you? I need to focus on university.”  
“Yes, that would be best. I am looking forward to it.”  
“Goodbye, my love. Until then.”  
We exchange a smile, and I blow out the candle to break the contact. For the first time in a few days, I actually clean the salt off of the floor instead of just leaving it there. When I come into the living room, I see my phone on the table has received several messages and calls from April. I quickly pick it up and dial her number.  
“Hello? Kiyo, is it you?”  
“Yes, it is. I apologize for not answering, I was busy, but now I can talk. I see you have called me a few times. What was the reason? Is everything alright?”  
“Yeah, more or less. I just wanted to let you know I got my painting back so we could give it to the museum now.”  
“My, this is pleasing news. I expect your grade to be an A, correct?”  
She giggles.  
“Yeah, it actually is. I'm really happy about all this, it's something good to distract me from all of this stress with Jimmy and Ari, so thanks a lot for giving me the chance to do that again.”  
“I congratulate you, April. We should get the painting to the museum as soon as possible, but you should not stress yourself any more, so allow me to pick the painting up and deliver it to the museum. The exhibition starts in just a few days.”  
“You'd do that? Aren't you busy as well?”  
“I am not as busy as you, and I will gladly do this for you. Where is it now?”  
“I took it home, so you's have to come over quickly, but you don't deserve to see what's going on inside right now, so just ring the doorbell and I'll come down to give it to you. Is that fine?”  
“Of course. I will leave the house right away.”  
“Okay, then I'll see you in a minute. I love you a lot!”  
“I love you too.”  
I hang up and almost get nauseous. This is the last time I will see her alive, but I must not let her know, so I should act like nothing is wrong. I immediately start packing my things and I leave the house only minutes after. I walk so quickly it could be considered jogging, constantly wondering why I am so nervous. I will not have to be the one that kills her, I would not be able to get it over with, so I could try to convince myself that I was not the one who did it, but cleaning up the murder of my lover will convince me otherwise. I reach my destination and ring the doorbell. About a minute later, the elevator door opens and April comes outside with a big plastic bag in her hand.  
“Hi, Kiyo! Thanks a lot for doing this. You do so many things for me, I really feel bad for not being able to give it back to you. Once we've settled this situation, I'll repay you, I promise! I love you so much, please know that. I'm not trying to stay away from you, it's just the opposite, but everything's just really hard for me right now.”  
I take her into my arms and press a passionate kiss onto her lips. No matter what time I pull away now, this kiss would be too short. I refuse to let her tongue in as she tries, I simply pull her closer to me and try to hold her as tight as I can without hurting her. My eyes stay closed and I keep this going until she gently pushes me away.  
“Is something wrong? Why are you being this overly passionate now?”  
“I want to make you feel better. Is this not relieving your stress a little?”  
“Mmh... it is, actually. Thanks, but I shouldn't stay away for so long. I promised Ari I'd help him deconstruct the double bed, and he's expecting me to come back any second now.”  
“I am certain he would not mind his break lasting a little longer, either. Just a few more.”  
I move forward and kiss her again, not any less passionate this time. Her lips taste a little like tears and coffee, and I suck the taste off of them. My arms are wrapped around her waist and gripping a little tighter as she seems to want to pull away, but I want to savor this fully and refuse to let go yet. I leave her lips briefly only to reunite with them again and again. The atmosphere is getting sexual.  
“Kiyo, I need to get back upstairs. I'm really sorry, it's not that I don't wanna keep going, but Ari's gonna kill me if I stay for much longer.”  
I do not want this to be our goodbye, but if I cast suspicion now, she might not trust me... or Sister this Sunday. I kiss her one last time, on her cheek this time, and let go of her. She hands me the plastic bag with her painting inside.  
“I will see you this Sunday, then. Tell Arijan I said hello.”  
“Okay, thanks again. See you then!”  
The door's closing sound sends a shiver down my spine. I want to run after her, to warn her, but it is too late and Sister would never forgive me. I hesitate to pull my mask back up because I feel my guts twisting and something rising in my throat, but after taking a few deep breaths, I calm down and put it on. Twenty minutes later, I knock on the door of the director's office in the museum.  
“Who is it?”  
“It is me, Shinguji. My girlfriend's painting has been graded and I am here to hand it to you in her place as she is busy at the moment.”  
“Oh, alright. Please come in.”  
The door creaks when I open and close it again, and I take a seat at his table.  
“Thank you for giving her this opportunity again, it really does mean a lot to her.”  
I take the canvas out of the bag and hand it over to him.  
“It looks even better up close. Thank you both for letting me exhibit this.”  
“Is everything settled concerning the painting and the paperwork?”  
“Yes, everything has been done.”  
“Then I shall not disturb you much longer and leave already now. I hope to see you soon.”  
“Goodbye for now.”  
I shut the door behind me and stroll through the museum until I reach the exit. April and I have talked about only becoming famous after having died, and it is exactly what will happen to her. I still want to keep her, I want her to know that people like what she does, but she will not live long enough. How will it affect Jimmy and Arijan, that is another question. I can only hope the best for them, but I doubt I would be able to help them in any way. They must already be in a crisis after their breakup, the death of a close friend would make everything even worse. I should attend her funeral, too, so I will meet her family and other friends. The thought is making me nervous, having to consult the loved ones of a woman I murdered all while being fully self-conscious. I am confident that I will make it through the trial, I have gotten away with murder in big cities multiple times, as long as Sister follows the steps I gave her. There is an alleyway I have already killed somebody in, I have never seen anybody in it, so there will be no witnesses. I should mark this spot on Sister's map as well. There are a lot of things left for me to do, but first of all, I should focus on keeping myself mentally stable.


	23. XXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a filler chapter describing the morning of the fateful day. Nothing very relevant actually happens.

Sunday morning, I wake up accompanied by a cold shiver down my spine upon remembering what is about to happen to my dearest April today. For the last few days, I have tried various meditation methods in order to mentally prepare myself for this day, but as it came closer, they stopped working and only made me more nervous. I sit up in the bed with perfect posture and take a few deep breaths, only then do I get up and get ready for the day. It takes me even longer than usual to get ready for the day because I want everything to be perfect, April should get the feeling that who she is talking to is me. I do not eat anything because I am constantly feeling nauseous, but I drink a few glasses of water. Time flies faster than I would have liked, and it is already only ten minutes until noon. My hands are shaking as I sprinkle the salt on the floor in circular patterns and my voice nearly cracks while I chant, but everything works. Sister expects me with a smile.  
“It is finally time, Korekiyo. Why do you seem so uncomfortable?”  
“I... am sorry, Sister. I still love April, I am simply not ready for this. If I could control whom I loved, she would have died long ago, but love's force cannot be shifted, you know this just as much as I do.”  
“Please do not make me angry now. You will not see what is happening after all, simply try to imagine that she was murdered by somebody you do not know.”  
“That sounds so easy, but it is my duty to clean up after you, Sister. I will not be able to act like this was not my own plan. I appreciate your attempts to console me, but I will manage this on my own.”  
“If you say so. Are you prepared?”  
“Yes. Please, get it over with.”  
She stands up elegantly without breaking eye contact. She takes a step forward, away from her assigned spot, but the connection does not break. Another step, and my heart feels like it is about to stop at any second. With the third step, I cannot see her anymore, but I can feel her, it is not just cold air, but something else, indescribable, a feeling that makes my blood boil and my heart pound out of my chest, it hurts, but I cannot yell out, a burning pain in my head, and slowly, the candle and all that it lights up fades from my view and everything gets darker, as if-


	24. XXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo's sister wakes up in his room, and after a while of experimenting, she is ready to execute his plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the worst chapter. Trigger warnings are  
> Posession  
> Incest (wow who knew), also sexual incest is referenced  
> Masturbation (and it's actually graphic this time)  
> Semi-sadomasochism  
> Little bit of emetophobia again  
> Cringe, but as in... okay, imagine the little skin flap between your fingers being sliced open with paper. This doesn't actually happen, but it's that sort of cringe.  
> Murder  
> ...and Sister is being a bitch, as fucking always.

I open my eyes. Are they my eyes, or are they his? It feels so strange. I close and open them again, but all I see is darkness. Am I... is he blind? I can feel that whoever this is is lying on their side on hard floor. Experimentally, I move my... his limbs one by one to test what reality is anymore. Everything works as it should. The feeling is strange, I have not felt this way in a very long time, the ability to move my limbs in a solid form has been taken from me once I died. I ball these hands up into fists and spread them out again. I have to focus strongly when I sit up, it is not something that I can do reflexively. Now, I am sitting, but still, no mater how many times I blink or rub my eyes, I cannot see anything but darkness. I crawl along the floor and feel around with my hands until I touch a wall. I find a light switch after feeling around it for a while. The light making the room brighter allows me to see it fully, although the brightness of it stings in... my eyes for the first few seconds. The salt circle is still on the floor, but some of the lines are smudged and the candle is out and has fallen over, a small puddle of wax next to it. The bedroom is as I remember, nothing has changed except for some new things lying around here and there, like a rope I do not recall seeing or using. I cling onto the wall as I slowly stand up. This vessel feels heavy, as if I was controlling a pile of bricks, but I will probably get used to it after some time. Once I am standing on his, on my feet, I try walking a few steps, still leaning onto the wall in case I fall. I walked very rarely, I was mostly in bed or in a wheelchair, so even if this was not a mere vessel to my spirit, it would be hard for me to get used to this. I am stumbling in circles through the bedroom, this must look incredibly strange. However, it is a lot easier for me after a few minutes of practicing, so I let go of the wall and open the door to the hallway and try walking freely there. It has been so long since I last saw this apartment, I almost do not remember what room is where. The memories flooding back through my veins make me smile. Walking works almost flawlessly by now, so I explore the apartment a little. Korekiyo's office has changed a lot since I last saw it, he has hung up pictures of himself in several different situations, like holding a trophy on a stage, smiling into the camera with an old woman in a kimono and talking to his friends. More than he has pictures of himself or his friends, though, there are pictures of me. A lot of them are very intimate, like one that shows me smiling nude in front of the sky in a spring night, or the one he took of me kissing his neck. Some other pictures are portraits of me or childhood photos our parents took of us. I remember the context of every single photo of us together, and it makes my heart flutter with affection. I imagine he hides these pictures whenever he has a visitor.  
The living room is also quite the same as I know it, but the couch appears to be new. The kitchen and the anteroom have not changed one bit, either, and the same goes for the bathroom, which I visit last of all. I look at myself, at him, in the mirror for a long time. After some time, I begin stripping the clothing off until I am fully nude so I can see his perfect body in its full glory. It is lean and slender, with little muscle on his shoulders and chest. His tall size highlights his appearance even more. It is the same body I remember touching, embracing and making love to. Lost in the thoughts about what we used to do, I sit down on the edge of the bathtub and slide one of the hands across the pearly skin of his chest while the other goes down further to stroke him where he is the most sensitive. I can feel the pleasure as if it was my own body. I keep going, a little faster as it progresses, and start giggling at how strange it feels. Male pleasure, something I was always curious about and now I am able to feel it myself... how hilarious. While keeping my stimulation up, I grab a pair of nail scissors from the sink and make a little cut with it on his skinny thigh. The pain makes me laugh out loudly. I cannot say I miss feeling it, I was in enough pain throughout my life, but feeling it anew in a different context is such a strange feeling that it is laughable. Anybody would be absolutely terrified if they saw this, a feminine looking man stroking himself on the edge of a bathtub while laughing hysterically like a maniac, and only thinking about it makes me laugh even harder, but it turns into a pleasured groan when the vessel's orgasmic pleasure reaches my own mind. His thighs, one of his hands and some of the floor are sticky from milky white liquid now and I clean the little mess up before putting the clothing on the floor back on. I caress his long black hair with the hairbrush for a few minutes until it is perfect. Yes, I am looking good, but one thing is missing. The tube of crimson lipstick is already prepared at the edge of the sink and I carefully trace it along his perfectly symmetrical lips until they are fully colored red. I look up into the mirror again. Perfect.  
I have a lot of time left, so I go into the kitchen again to eat and drink something. It feels strange to do this, somehow I can feel the digested food inside of me, but when I ate something when I was alive, it felt different. What makes me a little disappointed is seeing the large amount of coffee cups in the dishwasher. I always hated coffee, and I hated it when Korekiyo had some in my presence. He promised me he would reduce his caffeine consumption after I called him out on it, so seeing this now makes me feel a little betrayed.  
The notes and the map he has promised me are lying on the table, and I scan through them again. Now would be a good time to prepare for this special little date, so I go into the closet where he hides his weapons. Seeing them all hang in such perfect order makes me excited, I want to take them all, but they must be small enough to fit in a purse. I take one hunting knife from the shelf and a bottle of poison, then a cloak to muffle any screams. A gun is another thought that crosses my mind, but I discard it when I think about how boring and fast it would be to kill her with this. She deserves worse, after all she has done to somebody whose love has been claimed by another. Of course, Korekiyo is the one at fault, and I plan to punish him for this as well, but I will do so after I am done with his concubine. This body will simply grow too exhausted to kill after it has been hurt a little bit. What else did he say... extra clothing. I go back to the bedroom where his closet is and pick out a few things to wear afterwards. I stuff it all into the biggest purse he owns and go outside already, map in hand. Fresh air from outside brushes against my... his cheeks the second I step outside. Korekiyo told me it had been snowing, but there is no trace of it to be seen, it is only cold. This cold feels so refreshing to me, it is something I never felt even when I was alive, I was constantly wrapped in thick warm blankets in my bed, and whenever I was allowed to have my brother push me around in my wheelchair outside for a while, it had to be summer so I would not get cold. It is as if a door to an entirely new world was opened for me. I laugh at the new sensations again, earning disturbed looks from the people around me. I take the map out and memorize the way to my new friend's house, but I make a detour to the alleyway he has recommended me first. It appears to be an alleyway to an alleyway, absolutely nobody could see it from the bigger street it branches off from and it seems like only junkies use it as a place to throw up at night, there are several stinking stains to be seen, but there is no need to fear that they will catch us. They will only come here after the sun has gone down, and the drugs will distract them enough so they will not notice a corpse under a tarp. With that, everything I need to know is settled and I make my way to her apartment. I ring the bell with the name Korekiyo has given me, the excitement is bubbling up inside of me. The door of the elevator behind the glass door opens and gives way to a young woman in his age. She smiles widely upon seeing me and runs to the door to open it.  
“Kiyo! Oh, how glad I am to see you. You're so good for doing all of this.”  
This is something Korekiyo has never told me about. What is the context of all this? I suppose I will have to ask indirectly, but before I can say anything, she leaps into my arms and presses a deep kiss onto my lips. I was not ready for this. It feels good to be kissed after such a long time of not having a physical form, but this is not the person whose kiss I would have wanted, so I do not know how to react. I slowly wrap my arms around her, although she is literally a stranger to me and it feels not only strange, but wrong. She pulls away from me after some time and I get to look at her face more clearly. She is definitely quite handsome and her smile is very bright, but that is not enough for me to want to kiss her. I am not even attracted to women.  
“Damn, Kiyo, what's the lipstick for? I mean, it looks really sexy on you, but you said you didn't feel well without your mask, so why did you put this on?”  
I forgot. I need to make up a good excuse now, so I go with flattery.  
“I wanted to prepare myself specifically for this date, you see. I can go some time without it.”  
“Okay, I see. You look really feminine like this, you could easily crossdress as a girl. Not that it's bad! Maybe I'm just imagining it, but your voice sounds kinda feminine too.”  
“Hmhmhm, is that so? Your mind is probably simply fooled by my appearance.”  
“Yeah, probably. So where are we going today?”  
“It is a surprise. Please follow me.”  
She takes my hand and squeezes it gently, motivating me to lead her. I start walking in the direction of the alleyway.  
“Thanks again for organizing all this. You have no idea how much it relieves me to just get away from home for a while. I'm so tired of hearing them constantly scream at each other.”  
I do not know much about what is going on, but I can guess the context and I want to act like Korekiyo, who would be compassionate in such situations.  
“Yes, my parents were the same. I know how bad it feels, so I am honestly sorry.”  
She stops walking and turns to me, her face both amused and confused.  
“Parents?”  
I must have made a mistake. I remember what Korekiyo told me: she lives in a shared apartment with roommates.  
“Oh, did I say parents? I apologize, you know what I meant.”  
“You don't have roommates, though, Kiyo.”  
“I meant... my parents were the same as your roommates.”  
She is already giving me work. I pull her hand and start walking a little faster.  
“Oh, I see. Sorry about that, you were just being nice and I immediately turned it into something mean.”  
“No need to worry, April.”  
As we approach the alleyway, I let go of her hand and cover her eyes with it instead.  
“We are almost there, so keep your eyes closed for the last bit. Trust me.”  
She giggles excitedly and nods. I lead her into the alleyway, and there are no people around to see us.  
“Ugh, it smells really bad here. Where are we right now?”  
“April, please trust me. I will let go of you now, but please keep your eyes shut for a little longer.”  
“Whatever you say, but this smell is honestly about to make me throw up.”  
I wordlessly open the purse, pull out the hunting knife and gloves and drop to my knees behind her. With a big smile, I place the blade on her Achilles tendon, only lightly so she does not feel it, and with one fast motion, I press it into her flesh and slice. With my other hand, I quickly reach out to her mouth to cover the chilling scream that escapes her mouth as she falls over onto her stomach. I react quickly and pull the cloak out of the purse and over her mouth, tying it into a tight know so she cannot talk or scream again. She is up against the wall now, facing me with an absolutely horrified expression and tears streaming down her cheeks.  
“Allow me to explain myself before I continue.”  
I raise my foot and place it firmly on her shoulder.  
“You simply could not keep your hands off my lover. Of course, it is not your fault alone, he will receive punishment as well, but you should be the first to go.”  
She writhes desperately, trying to get away from me, but my foot and the knife, which I now hold up to her face, keep her in place. I enjoy her terror fully.  
“I saw what you did to him that night, in my bed. It was impossible for me to look away.”  
I cannot read her thoughts, but I imagine she is slowly realizing what is happening.  
“While it is usual for him to sleep with other women, both for research and to lure them into traps, he is never this diligent and, more importantly, he never lets them stay for the night. So, in a sense, you can consider yourself special. I believe he really did care for you, but that is unacceptable.”  
She closes her eyes, possibly because she does not want to look at me anymore. It is understandable for her to do this, but I wish to see her emotion.  
“You need not be afraid. I might know what you have done, but I will be merciful this time and still welcome you into my circle of friends. You will get to meet so many amazing women and girls, many of them even from Hope's Peak. He has told me that it was always your dream to go there, so you will have all eternity to ask them questions. It will be a refreshment.”  
I trace a sensual line from her forehead down to her stomach with the tip of the blade, careful not to make any deep cuts. I want to savor her pain.  
“I will tell you the entire truth before I finish you off, you deserve as much. So, I shall begin right at the start, when we fell in love with each other. We were mature enough to recognize that it was true love, and it was, even though our love was so wrong in the eyes of everybody around us. Our love broke apart when I passed away, but he kept contacting me in seances. He made it his goal to send me 100 admirable girls as friends because I was always unable to befriend anybody due to being bed-ridden all the time. I exist only as a ghost by now, so those who become my friends are all ghosts killed by him and accepted by me. He has been stuck at number 72 for more than three months now, that is until he met a very special person.”  
I stab the knife into her shoulder and pull it out again, making her entire body stiffen and a muffled, silent scream escape her. She wiggles her body, but I grab her by the shoulders without putting the weapon down.  
“Yes, I am talking about you. You will definitely not like hearing this, but he approached you only because he thought you looked like someone who would be a good friend for me. In other words, he originally planned to kill you. I do not want you to get the wrong idea about him, though, so I will tell you the entire truth, even the one I refused to accept. I, myself, was uncertain whether I wanted you at first, but now I have seen your worth. His feelings towards you changed, and he fell in love with you. So please, do not hate him for this, he meant everything he said.”  
Her entire body grows weak and limp, so I lightly slash at her upper arm to wake her up again.  
“Not yet, April. I am not nearly done with my story.”  
I turn her head to face me and smile at her.  
“Please do not hate me for this, either. I am doing this out of admiration for you. Every girl I have befriended so far is a part of some elite, and you are the first... normal one, so to say. I do not wish to put you below the rest, of course, far from it. At first, I absolutely hated you for what you did to my lover, but the little time we have spent together really did make me realize how admirable you are. You never knew that he loved somebody else, so this cannot be considered your fault, but his.”  
She appears to be blacking out again, so I thrust the blade into her hip, where its tip hits her pelvis.  
“Just a little longer, yes? I will tell you this story and then make it quick for you. Strange, is it not? At first, I was certain I was going to torture you and let you die slowly, but you listen to me so patiently that I have decided to make you suffer at least a little less. That said, I am going to rush through the rest of it. Where was I... right, please forgive both of us. What we both have done to you is unforgivable, but please give it some thought and you will realize that we simply both care for you.”  
I grip the knife's handle tighter, ready to deliver the final stab.  
“Alright, everything has been said now. I will try to make it quick, then you can rest. It will hurt one last time, then never again. We will meet again after I leave this vessel. Thank you for having been so kind to my little brother.”  
I take a deep breath, stretch my arm, gather some speed in the motion and quickly stab it into her throat with precision. Her body jerks and twitches one last time, then it stops moving altogether. I pull the blade out of her neck and blood pours out all over my hand upon pulling it out. I get up and look at my work one more time. She is lying there with her back to the wall, big gaping wounds on her shoulder, hip and neck and several small cuts along the line from her forehead to her stomach. The floor is red all over, and some parts of the wall are bloody as well. I cannot cover the walls with tarp, but it is made out of bricks and the red color is not immediately visible. I remove the cloth from her mouth and drag her body away from the wall and pull the tarp out of his purse and over the corpse and the bloody hunting knife so they are completely obscured from view at first sight. I get away from the body so I do not accidentally drop something when I change clothing. I put the old, bloody clothes and gloves back into the purse, they would be able to identify his DNA from the sweat on it. Once I have changed, I make sure not to leave anything of importance at the scene and walk out of the alleyway. Before fully exiting it, though, I peek around the corner to make sure nobody witnesses me walking out. There is not a soul to be seen, so I quickly slip out of the alley and casually walk home.  
Once I arrive, the first thing I do is take the bloody clothing and cloth out of the purse and put it and the empty purse onto the kitchen table. I feel bad for making Korekiyo do this, but I do not know how to wash fabric properly to clean bloodstains off of it. I will exit his body after punishing him for what he has done, but I write him a note on a sheet of paper in his office. For the punishment, I strip all clothing off again and sit down in the bathtub. I will feel the pain myself, but I do not want to spare him just for that reason. I take the same nail scissors as I did earlier and lightly make a few cuts on his forearms, thighs and the back of his hands. After a while, I point the scissors to his chest, where I press it into his flesh hard enough to draw blood. I suck the air in through my teeth and keep going, cutting across his whole chest enough to make it painful, but not too dangerous. After having cut a message into his skin, I decide it is enough punishment and clean off the blood on his chest. None of the wounds are deep enough to make him lose large amounts of blood, so I do not waste my time on trying to stop the bleeding and go straight to bed instead. I make the vessel lie down on his back and close his eyes, then I focus entirely on anything but the pain until I feel it fading, more and more and more until I cannot move his limbs anymore.  
With just a little more effort, I am out of him.


	25. XXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo wakes up in his bed in the evening not knowing what exactly has happened. He uses the signs his sister left and prepares to cover up her crime.

I wake up, lying nude in my bed on my back. The pain in my body makes me certain that Sister has finished her work. All I can think about is April: has Sister done what I asked or is she making it more difficult for me to cover up as punishment? Did she torture her or make it quick? I should go check so I can clean up as well, but it feels as though nothing could motivate me to get up and go outside. Knowing what happened to April makes the entire world feel a little darker, but I must not give up. Yes, Sister will help me fall out of love and keep looking for other women. I stand up from the bed and groan, my body is fully covered in little cuts and the bed is slightly bloody when I look back at it. This must be my punishment. In the mirror of my closet, I see that the deeper cuts on my chest form a pattern, her name, to be exact. She must have wanted to mark me as hers and hers only with this gesture. I put some clothing on and look through the apartment to see if she has broken anything, but the only change I find is a sheet of paper in my office. 

Sweet Korekiyo,  
I am finished now. I took your lover to the alleyway you suggested and murdered her there. There were no witnesses, not even when I walked in or out of the alley, so all there is left for you to do is craft an alibi and clean your bloody clothing. I have left the weapon at the scene, but I made sure not to get any fingerprints on them.   
As for your punishment, you can consider yourself lucky that I was able to feel pain inside of your body as well, otherwise it would have been a lot more severe, as you deserve. The next time you disobey my rules, I will make you hurt yourself during a séance.   
If something like this happens ever again, my reaction will be a lot less mild as this time. Whenever you fail to bring me a woman I ask for, I will enforce new rules on you, and they will get stricter and stricter.   
I love you, my sweet Korekiyo, and it would truly make me distraught if you did not love me back although you promised it to me so many times. I understand that you will be busy for the next few days, so it is forgivable if you do not contact me as often, but I expect you to come speak to me once everything regarding the crime is settled.   
Do not start slacking now. I am already waiting for girl number 73.  
Always yours only,  
your loving Sister

I read through the letter multiple times and feel the scars burning up again each time I see the words “I love you”. I begin to sob a little out of grief for April and, nonetheless, love for Sister, but I suck it up and leave the office again. A pile of bloody clothing and an even bloodier pair of gloves lies on the table, only waiting for me to clean them. I leave them be for later and check the purse instead, which is lying on the floor next to the table. There are some small bloodstains on its bottom, most likely from the clothing, so I will clean it thoroughly as well. In case the police search my house, I will hide the weapons away in the usual spot. At first sight, it is not obvious which one she has used and left at the scene, I will see once I visit it. For now, I simply wash the clothing free of blood and bandage some of the minor wounds, I do not want to make Sister angry by covering her name. My phone vibrates suddenly, a message from Arijan. I already fear the worst.

“Do you know where April is? Are you still together?”

“No, not anymore. We parted ways and each went home alone only shortly after we met due to an inconvenience. I apologize, but I do not know where she is. Did she say anything to you?”

“No, she just said she'd go on a date with you and come back after a few hours”

“I am truly sorry, but I do not know where she could be. She did mention she was happy to get away from home for a while, so perhaps she stayed outside on her own after we parted. Have you tried calling her?”  
“Yes, many times. Can you try? Maybe she'd listen to you more than us”

It stings in my heart, but I need to play this role. This is the first step to creating an alibi.

“I will. If she does pick up, I will ask her to call you.”

“Thanks”

I take a deep breath. Now would be the time to see the crime scene, I suppose.


	26. XXV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At April's funeral, Korekiyo meets some of her family and friends. He socializes with her roommates as well and they grow a little closer to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really grew attached to Jimmy and Arijan because coming up with their characters was so much fun for me. I never thought I'd do any more but mention them, but hey now there's a little more of them. I hope you don't mind.

Not every funeral is rainy, although I would definitely prefer if this one was. The sun is shining, slowly melting the snow that has fallen over the last few weeks. The trial is over, and although I was nearly caught, I managed to push the blame onto a stranger who had thrown up at the crime scene that evening. They tracked his DNA and arrested him, also for possession of drugs. The police assumed that a criminal like him was capable of murder on a stranger.  
So in conclusion, everything went well for me, but I was and still am a mental wreck. I do not want to attend her funeral, it would probably break me even more, but I do not want to seem suspicious. Here I am now, waiting for my taxi in my best black suit and tie. I went out of my way to leave my mask off, I would not want to make a bad impression on her family and friends. I did not talk to any of her loved ones after the trial, I did not even meet most of them. Only her parents and roommates attended the trial, and I was only taken in because I was a suspect at first due to the date we had.  
I see a taxi driving along the street, and I wave my hand to catch the driver's attention. He stops in front of me and I get into the car with my bag on my lap.  
“Where can I drive you today?”  
“The cemetery, please.”  
“Oh, did someone die? I'm sorry”, he says while already typing the destination into his navigation device.  
“You have probably heard of it, the victim of the brutal knife attack recently was my lover.”  
“Yeah, I have. I'm really sorry about that.”  
He starts the car, and I simply sit there is silence as I do not wish to talk about this subject anymore. About ten minutes later, we arrive and I am dropped off. I pay the driver and thank him, then I quickly exit the car and walk over to the people that are already standing in front of the chapel. Most of them are crying, so I leave them in peace and go stand somewhere further from them. After a while, Jimmy and Arijan approach me.  
“Hi, Kiyo.”  
“Good afternoon. I am sorry we meet under such dreadful circumstances.”  
“I am too. God, we were already in enough stress and now this happens...”  
They both look incredibly sore, they must have been crying for hours although they both managed to keep their composure in the trial.   
“This was truly the worst time for something like this to happen. There is never a right time for death, but this could not have been worse.”  
“Yeah... with her gone now, there's nothing that could keep the peace between us anymore. We're gonna keep living in this apartment together because neither of us actually has the money to afford a new one and we don't want to leave this town. Whenever we got in a fight, she was the only one who actually kept us from destroying the entire apartment.”  
I can understand how hard it must be for them, and I want to offer them my support, but I am not certain I can help at all. Still, I want to at least try to help.  
“I know I cannot be of much support for you in this situation, but if there is anything I can do to help you somehow, please let me know. I wish to offer you my support as best as I can.”  
“That's nice of you, Kiyo. We'll try to get everything together at home and then maybe we can all do something together sometime.”  
I see someone else approaching, so I only nod and smile in response. April's mother walking towards us appears about 60 years old, and she greets April's roommates before me. The two men walk away to leave us privacy.  
“Hello, Korekiyo. Thank you for coming as well. It's a shame we meet like this.”  
“It truly is. I am terribly sorry for your loss.”  
She takes one of my hands and holds it.  
“Oh, April always talked so fondly about you. She wanted to introduce us to you, and I was looking forward to it, but now we only get to talk at her funeral.”  
I place my other hand on her shoulder and caress it a little to try and cheer her up, but this only seems to make it worse for her and she suddenly lunges forward into my arms. It surprises me, but I would never push her away, so I carefully put an arm around her. It is so strange and somehow fascinating, how death can tear relationships apart, but also create new ones between people who have only one thing in common, which is knowing the very person whose funeral they are attending. The older woman backs off a little after a minute and wipes the tears off her face, her voice still shaking.  
“I'm sorry... we hardly know each other and I already cry at you like this.”  
I keep my hand on her shoulder.  
“Please do not apologize for something like this. I could cry as well.”  
She smiles weakly and sniffs, then lets go of my hand.  
“Please come with me. You should meet the rest of her family and friends instead of standing offside of us like this.”  
I follow her into the larger group of people, and the next few minutes are a mess of hand-shaking and introductions. I probably should, but it would feel so terrible if I looked for girl number 73 in this crowd, so I decide to focus on expressing my compassion and talking to these people. I get into a longer conversation with her father.  
“You know, the day that you got together, she immediately called us so excitedly and told us all about you. Her mother and I both live in a city that's quite far from here, but we wanted to meet you as soon as possible, so we already made plans for coming here.”  
“I am truly sorry that we could not meet under different circumstances.”  
“So am I. I was really looking forward to it, she described you as pretty much the best person on earth. We read your book after that as well. You're not falling short on my expectations at all. If only she could've been with you longer.”  
“I wish so too. She was a wonderful young woman, and yet there would have been so much more for me to learn about her. I would have loved to travel alongside her someday.”  
“She would've loved that too, I think. She was swooning about how much experience you have in anthropology and how much you know about humanity. She really loved you.”  
“I loved her, too, so much. It is such a curse... every woman I have ever loved passed away too early.”  
“I'm sorry for your loss... for all of your losses. April told me about your sister, too. She was talking so compassionately as if it was her own sister, but she's an only child.”  
I laugh sadly.  
“Yes, she was an incredibly compassionate person. All my life, I have been examining human emotion, and she taught me how important it is to focus on my own feelings.”  
The crowd grows silent all of a sudden and I turn my head to see the orator. We walk into the chapel in silence, I take a seat next to Arijan.  
I belong to no religion, it is of the essence in order to observe different religions and beliefs, but I do put my hands together when the orator begins to pray. I nearly tear up during this, it makes me realize once more how much I loved April. I feel Arijan's hand caress my shoulder gently. Normally, I would pull my arm away, but I let him stay and nod at him gratefully. For the rest of the prayer, I look down in silence while he pets my arm softly. He still looks worried when we stand up to get to the actual burial, but he does not say a word out of respect.   
I am too sad to even cry when I watch the coffin being lowered into the grave. It hurts to imagine that the one inside the coffin is someone I loved so dearly. I hope she can forgive me, I hope she can somehow find a way to get along with Sister. I will ask her the next time we communicate, but the thought of talking to her seems horrible all of a sudden.  
No, if I let go of Sister now, there would be absolutely nothing left for me. If I let her go when April was still alive, I could have spent my life with her, but now that she is dead, I have no other choice if I do not want to be alone. I do love her, certainly, but in a time of mourning April, I should not be so inconsiderate.  
After the people in front of me are finished dropping their flowers on the coffin, I walk forward to the grave as well, quickly press my lips onto the rose and throw it onto the coffin. I hope this somehow reaches her. I wish I could stay standing here longer, but I walk away to let the next person behind me throw their flower in. There is another prayer, and then, the funeral is over.   
I say goodbye to everyone and walk to the street where I call a taxi, but before I can dial the number, Jimmy and Arijan run over to me again.  
“Is something wrong?”  
“No, no, but don't you wanna come to the funeral meal?”  
“I do not think it is appropriate to eat together and act like nothing has happened after having cried at a grave just minutes ago. It is a custom to cheer people up, of course, but I wish to get over this in private. Thank you for your concern, but I would prefer going home now.”  
“Okay, I get it. Um... this is probably an inconvenient time to ask, but are you free on New Years? If you want, you can come over to our apartment and spend it with us. If we're alone together on New Year's Eve, we'll just get bored of each other.”  
“My... what a nice invitation. I will gladly come and observe how you celebrate such an important day, thank you. It is good that you are still friendly with each other.”  
“What choice do we have, really? Things will never be the same, I mean, we've dated for two years, but we do our best to get along just like before.”  
“I wish you the best in the future. As I said before, please do not hesitate to ask me if you need anything. Shall we discuss any further plans for New Year's Eve via texting?”  
“Yeah, okay. We'll be going to the funeral meal now, so... bye, we'll see each other soon.”  
“Goodbye. I am looking forward to it.”  
They both wave at me again and turn their backs to me to walk to the rest of the group for the funeral meal. I dial the taxi service's number, and as I wait for it to arrive, it starts to snow.


	27. XXVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the funeral, Korekiyo contacts his sister for the first time since the murder to ask her about his lover.

When I arrive at home at last, the first thing I do is prepare a séance with Sister. We have not spoken a word after she told me what she had done, and I fear that she might get the idea that I am turning away from her if I stay away from her for any longer now. My voice cracks a few times while singing the chant, most likely because I can feel tears building in my eyes again. I do not want Sister to see me crying, but I have already started the chant now and stopping would ruin it.  
“Korekiyo, I see you are crying. You are still not over it, no?”  
“I am indeed not, but I will manage with your help. Thank you for your concern, darling. Tell me, have you managed to find a way to get along with your new...”  
“Friend, is what you want to say, but you fear it is not the correct term. Do not worry, sweetheart, we have talked for a long time and now everything is perfectly fine. She needed some time, but eventually she decided to forgive us both, and she is getting along with the others very well too. Tenko... has taken quite a liking in her, as it seems.”  
“So she is not too mad... that pleases me to hear. Please tell her that...”  
...I love her, but I must not say that to Sister.  
“...she is dearly missed.”  
Sister smiles lightly.  
“I will, Korekiyo. Remember to keep looking for more admirable women for me, you are almost there. Have you looked for any suitable ones at her funeral?”  
Now I even have to lie.  
“I have looked, but not found. All I can do is hope that finding girl number 73 will not take as long as it did with 72.”  
A heavy sigh escapes her.  
“Yes, that is something I hope as well. If you would let me possess you again... I could look for her myself.”  
“Sister, I doubt that I will let you do this again. This was an emergency, and a way of proving that you mean more to me than her, and I have learned to avoid further situations like this.”  
“...Yes, correct. Well... I suppose then it is up to you. At the very least, April has become one of my favorites by now, so before you go, I should thank you for sending her to me.”  
“You... are welcome, I suppose...”  
“I know that is far from the truth. I forgive you, my dear, just this once. Just do not let this happen ever again.”  
I nod submissively and she smiles, a little hint of sadness in her beautiful eyes.  
“If you need any consult for your mental health, I will be there for you at all times, but do not expect me to let you see April anymore. You have definitely had enough of her.”  
“I understand, however... please let her know that she was dearly loved. Not only by me.”  
“I will do you that favor.”  
“Thank you, Sister... may I leave? I have plans to meet some friends of mine.”  
“I suppose so. Hurry up to find girl number 73 now.”  
“I will, I promise. Goodbye for now.”  
I blow out the candle, but only several minutes later, I realize that this is one of the very few times that I do not say goodbye by telling her I love her. I hope this does not go on for much longer.


	28. XXVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a time skip of about a year, Korekiyo has finally managed to reach his goal of bringing his sister 100 friends, but the seventy-second is still someone who keeps him up at night. Still, he executes his plan until the end and ends his own life in a ritualistic suicide while in a seance with his sister. Before, he writes a long letter to his dearest friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains:  
> Murder  
> Suicide  
> Blood  
> but if you made it through chapter 24 this is way better

Girl number 73 was a little easier than expected, which is probably because now I know that Sister will accept women with slightly lower social status as well. I dared not to get too close to her, I seduced and murdered her as quickly as possible.  
Girl number 74 was her cousin, which is a mere coincidence as I only found that out after she was dead. The police figured that both of their deaths were a family affair.  
Girl number 75 was quite a sweetheart, I met her at a concert. Talking about music with her for a while made her foolish enough to trust me, so I took her to a secluded area and made it quick.  
Girl number 76 was from Thailand, since I feared the police would grow suspicious of so many murders in one city and traveled somewhere else in my university break.  
Girl number 77 was killed during my travels as well, but she died in Belgium. My journey went through Asia and parts of Europe, so there were multiple chances for me to send Sister friends. Out of the ones I found, she was my favorite.  
Girl number 78 was killed in Western Russia, but she was a tourist from America. She showed obvious interest in me, so it was easy to take her to a place without witnesses.  
Girl number 79 was Chinese. I was close to being caught with her, but I covered it up as a suicide. It almost failed, but I was lucky in the end.  
Girl number 80 to girl number 93 were new students at my university that came for the new semester starting. One of them, number 90, if I recall correctly, was someone I really would have loved to befriend myself, but I wanted to prevent and April scenario at all cost. All those murders were very easy to cover up although the police did get suspicious. The university was closed for a few weeks due to all of these murders.  
Girl number 94 was one of my classmate's girlfriend. I admit that I felt bad: they were just about to get engaged, and their love must have been very sincere. This classmate committed suicide a few weeks after this.  
Girl number 95 took a little longer again, but she was very admirable. Especially her appearance was beautiful, but she was not unfriendly either.  
Girl number 96 was a cellist in an orchestra whose concert I attended. It made me miss April again, so I got rid of her very quickly. I cried for very long after this, not because of number 96, but because of number 72.  
Girl number 97 reminded me of April as well. She had the same kind, slightly shy but friendly nature. Had I spent more time with her, Sister would have gotten mad, so I made it quicker than I would have wanted myself. The kiss I gave her when I took her home was almost inappropriately passionate.  
Girl number 98 took another one and a half months, but she was somebody Sister was very happy about. She was a very intelligent and cultured young woman with the same interests as her and me whom I met at a talk. Once she figured out I was the Ultimate Anthropologist, she was very interested in spending more time with me, so she was easy to take out.  
Girl number 99 almost got away as I injected her with too little poison and she almost got away. If she had been the one to make me fail, I would have been furious.  
And finally, girl number 100. There is nothing special about her, really. It is almost disappointing, how the final number is not any more exquisite than, for example, the forty-sixth. But Sister was happy with her, and as long as she is happy, I can be too.  
Well, that is not the entire truth. I have not been truly happy for a long time. No matter what I do, I simply cannot get April off my mind. I found myself comparing every girl I have found to her, and if they are about as admirable as her. She was the one to set my standards.  
I really was expecting that I would fall out of love with her the longer I stay away from her, but it has only grown stronger with every time I lied in bed crying ad regretting I let her go. Sister was mad each time, but she forgave me more than I deserve. I still love Sister with all my heart, and I love April the same, the conflict has not been eased one bit. Every time I contacted Sister, I asked discretely how April was doing, and I think she noticed after a while and was simply kind enough to play along. She is doing just fine, if what Sister says can be trusted. As far as I have been told, she is getting along very well with the Ultimate students, and of course with my wonderful Sister as well. I am pleased to hear that, of course I am, but I still desperately want her back with me at times. Often, I dream at night about getting her back, getting engaged with her, marrying her and having children with her. They are dreams I never want to wake up from, and when I do wake up, it makes me cry to even reflect what I dreamed. I leave the room immediately whenever I fear I might start crying because of April, because the longer Sister sees me in this still lovestruck state, the shorter she will endure my company.  
So, after all... her death has shattered me completely, despite all of the time that passed. I miss her so much, it makes me look forward to suicide even more than before. But, I promised myself this too: I will confess my deeds before I go in an attempt to cleanse myself. I will leave the note by my corpse, the neighbors will notice the scent at some point and see it once they find me. Originally, I wanted to make it public and let whoever discovers it first read it first, but there has been a change of plans. There is somebody I have found who deserves to know everything first of all. It is two people, in fact; my dearest friends Jimmy and Arijan.  
They are something else that I need to thank April for, I never would have met them if it were not for her. After our meeting on New Year's Eve, we have met multiple more times at random occasions and grown to be the best of friends. They made my time so much more bearable, they gave me breaks from business I never knew I needed and they simply offered me mental support when I needed it. They are the only ones who knew how much I truly miss her. I am about to deliver another fatal shock to both of them, but they are the only ones whom I can trust enough to know they will fulfill the wish I write down.  
Writing the note is what I am doing right now, already in the finest kimono I own. This is an act of honor, although I do not think I am deserving of this honor at all. The ink I use is absolutely exclusive and one-of-a-kind, I received it in an old village together with the equally exclusive calligraphy nib I am using as well. I saved these items just so I could write my final words with them. Somehow, verbalizing it is way easier than expected, it almost comes natural.

“My dearest friends, Jimmy and Arijan,  
once this note reaches you, I will have already executed the plan I have had from the beginning. I am terribly sorry for making you lose another friend like this, but this is a matter nobody could have helped me with, not even you, as much as I hate saying this since you have helped me so much. Yes, the first thing I should do is thank you for everything you have done for me. I doubt you even realize how much every word of encouragement meant to me, so I shall say it now. You knew very well that I still missed my dearest April with all my heart, and you helped me through those times. Thank you for this. However, you deserve to know that what I did was not because of her death, and although you cheered me up so very kindly, you were unable to help me from making this decision. Please, I beg of you, do not blame yourselves for this, though! Why I did this is yet to be revealed in this letter, and it will hold a few very unpleasant surprises for you, but please keep reading.  
I shall start right at the beginning. I was fourteen and she was seventeen when we fell in love. We both knew that is was true love that would last a lifetime, and we were right. An uncommon love such as ours was born to last. Everything seemed so perfect when I was with her.  
As you can probably figure, the one I am referring to is not April. The one I am referring to is my very own sister. Our parents, everyone who found out, all of society hated us for it, but our love was too strong to give in to such weak attempts to stop us. Yes, the bond between us lasted a lifetime, but, as I told you, this lifetime did not last long for my beloved Sister. When she finally died from her illness after having suffered for so long, I was so distraught. All that was left to keep me going was she herself, whom I contacted through seances from time to time. In life, she never had any friends, so I decided that making friends for her would make her happy. In case you have not yet realized what I mean by that, I was not the one to make friends, I was the one to send them to her so she could befriend them by herself. I brought her spirit more spirits so she would not be alone. I killed for her.  
Of course, one friend was insufficient for my beloved Sister, she deserved more and I made sure she got more. I vowed to send her 100 admirable girls (as I would never let any men near her), and by the time you read this, I have succeeded.  
Do you remember all of the brutal massacres that were reported over the past few years? The police began to suspect that it was the work of a serial killer after a while, and I was a suspect a few times, but they were never able to confirm their theory fully. They were right, though, I was the one who killed all of these girls. You may know that the number of murders on young women exceeds 100, which is because some psychopathic impostors imitated this serial killer.  
Where this entire story actually starts is only here, though: when I killed girl number 71. After I did so, I was unable to find any admirable ones anywhere for three months. It drove me insane overtime and Sister was getting impatient, and then finally, I met her.  
If you are suspecting it is April, then I regretfully say that you are right. Perhaps she has already told you this story, but we met in a coffee shop and got to know each other when I sat down at her table and we got into a conversation. All of this was just to kill her. Sister was not contented with her at first, though, so I spent more time with her to find out more about her so I could help her make the decision. She was still not certain after a long time, and while I was spending more time with April and less time with Sister, the inevitable happened and I fell in love with her, but I never left Sister behind. I was stuck between the two: I could have either kept April, but that would mean stopping the killing, losing my dearest Sister and having to live the rest of my life with the guilt on my back that I originally approached her so I could murder her in cold blood, or I could have killed her for Sister and forever lose the chance of having a lover that does not require elaborate seances to speak to.  
I truly loved both of them with all my heart, so the choice was hard for me, but in the end, I decided that all of the effort I put into making Sister happy should not go to waste. After almost a month of loving and dating April behind her back, I finally killed her. One could say that it was her who killed her, as I allowed her to possess me for the day, I only cleaned up after her. I know from experience what I need to do to cover up a crime.  
Please do not take me for some sadistic, heartless killer. You should be the ones to know best that April's death left me in shards afterwards, and the guilt still has not left me. I loved her with all my heart, and I will always be incredibly grateful to her for making my life so exciting and enjoyable, if only for such a short time, and most importantly for introducing me to you both. I still regret doing this to her and I still lay awake at night thinking about how things would have been different if I chose her over Sister, but it is too late and such actions are irreversible.  
Anyways, this was my plan from the beginning. Once I had given Sister 100 friends, I would commit Harakiri as there would be nothing left for me to do alive anymore. Briefly after writing this letter, this plan shall be fully executed. So, there is truly nothing you could have done for me, although I am certain you must think I am better off dead after reading this.  
I hope with all my heart that you do not lose your minds over figuring out that your best friend (at least I hope that is what you thought of me before all this) is a serial killer with an incestuous infatuation towards his own sister who has taken the life of your roommate. I cared for you very deeply and you are the best friends I could have ever wished for, and I feel terribly sorry for delivering shock after shock to you. I am not somebody to miss and cry over, please treat me that way and keep living your lives. I am forever grateful for all of the nice memories we have experienced together and I will certainly miss you.  
Before I leave now, there is something I would like to ask of you. It is rude of me to ask for favors after just having revealed this murderous past of mine, but it is absolutely necessary. Please bring this letter to the public and reveal the truth behind my murders. The second letter you will find here contains the names of all the victims I have claimed, the other imitation murders were committed by impostors (please believe me, there is no need for me to lie about this). I do not expect society's forgiveness, it is impossible to be forgiven after having killed 100 girls, but please send my regards and deepest apologies to every victim's families even if they refuse to accept them, which is understandable. Do with my name what you will, call me the ultimate criminal or forget my name altogether, write me down in history books as the worst and most cruel person to ever have lived. I will gladly admit that I deserve it.  
With that, I shall finally leave now. Please burn my corpse and discard it somewhere nobody would want to be put to rest. I would donate my organs, but I doubt anybody would want them, so leave them be. I have no final wish but for you to keep being happy and making the best of things like I know you.  
Thank you for everything and goodbye,  
Korekiyo Shinguji”

I sigh heavily and place the nib on the table. Before going to the bedroom, I wash myself one more time to cleanse myself, then I retrieve the prepared Tanto and place it on the floor there. I draw the entire salt circle to have it right in the middle. I thought about getting some more candles for this occasion, but I figured one would suffice. I cannot do the ritual absolutely according to custom if I plan to combine it with a séance, not to mention that I have no Kaishaku-nin to deliver the killing blow. I know it will be painful, but I am not nervous. Why would I be? Showing fear when about to commit Seppuku would be absolutely unacceptable. My voice is calm as ever as I sing the chant and wait to be able to open my eyes. When I see Sister, I notice her sad expression.  
“Good day, Korekiyo. I suppose the time has finally come for us to fully reunite.”  
“Yes, I suppose now is the time.”  
“I see you are not nervous at all. That is good to see, my dear. Your body will be able to tolerate the pain better if your mind is fully prepared for it.”  
“You must be the one to know that better than anybody else.”  
She nods her head, only lightly at first and then more noticeable, lips curled up into a smile.  
“Korekiyo, before you begin, I must thank you for everything you have done for me, all the friends you have brought me. They are all truly wonderful, and while the scenario with girl number 72 could have been avoided, I am fully ready to forgive you now. I am very, very happy, my beloved.”  
Girl number 72. April. I was unable to think of anybody else while writing the letter. Yes, I suppose I will reunite with her as well now. I wonder how she will react. Did Sister inform her, by chance? Will she forgive me or was Sister only lying to keep my spirits up? I want to talk to her about all this, but I am almost afraid of confronting her after she has found out all about my relationship with Sister. I want to hold her in my arms again, but Sister would not like it.  
But, as wonderful as she is, she will probably be ready to forgive me after a long talk, and then we will be able to be together for all eternity as long as I somehow manage to hide both of my lovers from each other although they are friends. It will be hard for me, but I am ready to face the hardships if it means spending the rest of my existence with both of these beautiful women.  
“Korekiyo?”  
“Hm? Ah, yes, I apologize, I was a little lost in thought. Shall I get started now?”  
“Whenever you are ready.”  
I take a deep breath and pick the Tanto up. I have prepared it in the ritualistic way. I take the cloth off the blade and wipe it clean once more. My body prickles with excitement a little when I lift the tip of the blade to my stomach. I have felt immense pain before, but this will certainly be an entirely new sensation. Will it be easy to keep a straight face? Will I manage to cut my aorta or will the blade get stuck there? I almost start smiling when I press it into my skin and it sinks into my skin, drawing a prickle of blood already. I push it in deeper and the first wave of pain runs through my body and makes me shiver, but I do not make a sound and move as little as possible. My breath has hitched, and I need to focus on keeping my composure and posture perfect. It burns so bad that I feel several tears pouring from my eyes, but I keep a stone cold face as I pull the blade through my stomach, from left to right. My thighs and the entire floor are already stained with my blood and I can feel that I am starting to black out even with the extreme pain in my entire body. I pull it faster, but it hits a vein and gets stuck. My body cramps up and I would scream of pain if I was allowed to, but I must remain calm during this. I attempt to cut the vein by thrusting the blade deeper into my body in a sawing motion, but I can feel that I will not last long enough to keep this up. I break eye contact with Sister when I lower my head, and through the burning pain, I feel it drawing closer. This will be it now, I suppose.  
The very last thing I think to myself before fading away is... I do not even know whom I want to see more. My darling Sister?  
Or my beloved girl 72.


End file.
